That was Then, But This is Now

  I’ve been away from my blogging, sadly, but eager to reconnect!!!  I stopped blogging and stopped my Tumblr and stopped connecting on slaveduties.  I was somewhat depressed and wanting to focus on some issues.  It has been a time away from reflecting and I have REALLY missed it.

I also was having a problem with one particular issue that I just couldn’t get past.  It was this….  I want the ability, if I am going to express my thoughts in a blog or when connecting to be completely honest with my feelings.  The problem I was having was this…How do you do this when your Master reads your blog and connections?  I mean, can you be really honest?  What if you are thinking something that might be only temporary, due to emotions and you know that you are feeling it now, but need to work through it, so that you can accept it or reject it, but you haven’t gotten to that point of decision or finality on your feelings?  Do you know what I mean?

I finally decided just this week, that I REALLY need to express myself through my blogging.  I can work through issues better and not too long ago, as my Master and I were working through a discussion and we actually achieved this through texting each other while sitting in the same room together while watching tv.  I know, i know…how weird?  We don’t ever do that, it just worked out that way.  I think I took the initiative to text him first.  Anyway, he remarked later that we had a wonderful conversation that way.  I think I really can express myself better when I’m typing and can get a thought across better.  (Also, I don’t have to worry about him interrupting me mid sentence.)

I suddenly came to terms with the issue of my Master reading my thoughts before they were completely thought out.  To tell you the truth, I know think that he won’t be keeping up with me as thoroughly as he might like to and so I feel more of a sense of privacy (false though it may be) and therefore more of a willingness to express myself.  This driving my NEED to get back to my blogs.  🙂

Do you know what I mean?

1 Comment

  1. I may not have done a good job of expressing what I mean in this blog. I do want my Master to read this and all of my posts and blogs. We share everything. What I think that may be advantageous about blogging is that it is a slower way of communication. Slower for my own thoughts to formulate and consequently edit from time to time as my thoughts coagulate more. Also, a slower response to my thoughts from my Master, which gives me , again, time to think. I feel like this method may help us in our communication. Currently, I believe that we have the most awesome relationship ever. We communicate better than most people. Partly, because we discuss EVERYTHING! Hours at a time in fact. Often we get into heated discussions during this time because I need more time than him to formulate what I’m thinking. This is part, I know, due to the fact that my Master is very intelligent, Mensa intelligent, actually. He is so good with language that I often find myself speechless, trying to catch up. I, myself, have above-average intelligence, but it does not compare to his IQ, nor his language abilities. We are both bad for trying to finish each others thoughts, even though we are (how many times during a conversation…lol) constantly immediately apologizing and trying not to. We also, both, try not to assume (remember assume makes an ass of u and me), but it is very difficult and we both come from different planets so to speak and before you know it we are off on another discussion. We still need those conversations. We still work at those conversations and after 5 years, we are better and better at it all the time. We have often mentioned that we make a lot of progress in sharing our thoughts when we email. I feel it is time to utilize that avenue some more. Hopefully, I helped to explain this a bit more.

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