I’ve been away from my blogging, sadly, but eager to reconnect!!! I stopped blogging and stopped my Tumblr and stopped connecting on slaveduties. I was somewhat depressed and wanting to focus on some issues. It has been a time away from reflecting and I have REALLY missed it.
I also was having a problem with one particular issue that I just couldn’t get past. It was this…. I want the ability, if I am going to express my thoughts in a blog or when connecting to be completely honest with my feelings. The problem I was having was this…How do you do this when your Master reads your blog and connections? I mean, can you be really honest? What if you are thinking something that might be only temporary, due to emotions and you know that you are feeling it now, but need to work through it, so that you can accept it or reject it, but you haven’t gotten to that point of decision or finality on your feelings? Do you know what I mean?
I finally decided just this week, that I REALLY need to express myself through my blogging. I can work through issues better and not too long ago, as my Master and I were working through a discussion and we actually achieved this through texting each other while sitting in the same room together while watching tv. I know, i know…how weird? We don’t ever do that, it just worked out that way. I think I took the initiative to text him first. Anyway, he remarked later that we had a wonderful conversation that way. I think I really can express myself better when I’m typing and can get a thought across better. (Also, I don’t have to worry about him interrupting me mid sentence.)
I suddenly came to terms with the issue of my Master reading my thoughts before they were completely thought out. To tell you the truth, I know think that he won’t be keeping up with me as thoroughly as he might like to and so I feel more of a sense of privacy (false though it may be) and therefore more of a willingness to express myself. This driving my NEED to get back to my blogs. 🙂
Do you know what I mean?