Pain – To Like or Not to Like – That is the Question!!!

I like being spanked.  I’ve always had a kink for it.  In fact, I had a kink for it way, way before I ever knew anything else about BDSM.  When I first entered into the BDSM scene and began to discuss my likes and dislikes, it was quite easy.  First and foremost…no real pain…no marks…and basically I knew nothing else BECAUSE I didn’t know any other of the hundreds of play aspects that might be involved.  (It actually wasn’t until I started filling out profiles on sites that I began to discover these things.  I had to ask my Master everything.)  Gradually, though, over time (many years..5+), I started to become more and more accepting of more things and actually wanting to explore and experience more things, including a little pain.

On the total opposite end of the kink of liking a spanking, is the spanking as a result of a consequence.  When my Master gets mad at me for some reason and demands I pull down my pants and lean over the bed, I immediately get so so mad and at the same time, upset.  He usually spanks the crap out of my behind and I usually wind up in tears.  It is more because he is delivering the spanking in a real mode of anger and disappointment in me and that kills me.

But, during what is “play”, I began to discover some interesting aspects of “pain”. First of all, I learned that the anticipation of pain got all my senses on high alert…all of my senses, including my sex sense.  You know, the sense that otherwise is called, “arousal”!  I also was experiencing that hard spankings were letting me feel MORE controlled, MORE owned, MORE dominated.  And, that led to wanting more and harder spankings, obviously.  And whenever my Master says, “Good Girl”, then I KNOW that I have “taken” something that he desired for me to take and that also makes me want it more and want it harder.

I also began to experience other kinds of pain, like mild nipple torture…wow!..intense!  But, the more intense, the better.  I think the real key to increasing intensity has been, in my case, to go ever so slowly that I’ve not realized that I was receiving in increasing intensity.  (Of course this also goes for other things beside pain…but that is another post.)

Then there is something else that I discovered.  If my Master starts a spanking very mild and increases ever so slowly, all the while continuing the spanking, I start to get so freaking aroused that I start to moan.  It is really weird when I hear myself.  I’ve heard about some who can orgasm this way.  I don’t think that I would ever be able to do that, but I really, really enjoy a spanking that is bringing me to that point.

So, to answer the question of whether pain is to like or not to like, the answer is….IT DEPENDS!  If I’m being given a spanking as a punishment for something that I’ve done and I know that my Master is upset with me, then I am NOT happy about the pain.  It really hurts bad and I’m hating it all the while and I usually break down quickly and cry.  BUT, …if my Master and I are playing and I start to get a spanking, then I am aroused.  I like it.  I need it.  I want some more of it!!!


  1. There is a difference between types of pain and the mental associations to them. Inducing the reaction in your submissive you desire requires a serious amount of training and a consistent set of behaviors on the Dominants part. The is one of the places where attention to the little details is a key responsibility of the Dominant. Spanking is a great example of that. Spanking isn’t just spanking. How hard, what area of the butt, how the spanking starts and progresses are all very important details. Especially if you are going to use spanking as both a pleasure and a punishment. Each experience should be consistent with others of its nature yet different from experiences of other natures. A punishment spanking should always be a punishment spanking and it should be completely different from a pleasure spanking. With my pet a punishment spanking starts quickly with fast repetition, swiftly delivered to the crown of her ass. A pleasure spanking always starts off with lightly delivered slow swats to the cheeks which build in their speed and strength. The reason you must be consistent in these kinds of details is because you are training your submissive both consciously and unconsciously. They may not always notice out right the differences but they will learn them on some level. This way the reason for the spanking is not just stated but on an emotional level it is understood. Like the difference between a hot bath and a hot flame. These kinds of subtle details both deepen the connection between Dom and sub but enrich the experiences.

  2. Well the WOW pet is because I am awesome 😉 Sadly the catch to D/s relationships and bdsm is that often the people drawn to it do not truly understand it. It isn’t a fast way to have kinky fun and it certainly isn’t a way for an aggressive jerk to get what they want by calling themselves Dom or Domme. To honestly do it right and obtain the most fulfillment for everyone takes a massive amount of attention and devotion on everyone’s part. The devil as it were is in the details. As I always say a submissive is a true treasure and if a Dominant isn’t willing to put forth the effort needed, the attention needed to be responsible for those details then they simply do not deserve such a wonderful treasure. Every Dominant, every submissive and every relationship will develop over time. And people tend to focus on the things that are important to them. It is ok for a Dom or sub to get things wrong, there are so many learning processes going on at once at any given moment during a relationship. The key is that the Dom takes the respectability for these things and keeps the ball rolling forward.

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