Cute versus Sexy

As women we want and need to feel sexy, be sexy, and look sexy.   I have never been seen as “sexy” really, only “cute”.  I am short.  5’2  I’m fairly petite, though, ya know, not like I have been at times.  (Gotta get on that exercise!) I don’t have big tits.  I have small tits.  I really like my tits, but that is another post.  I have more of a round face, rather than with prominent cheekbones.  I have a “cute” little nose, big eyes, and really, really tiny ears.  I’m also somewhat naive.  Or rather I have a naive nature.  I often don’t “get it”.  Even though I am quite intelligent with a 4 year degree and a professional job.  I also have a bad habit of announcing really quickly that I don’t get it, which reveals my naivety.  (That is because I want to be in the know.  Who doesn’t, right?)  My parents and sisters are conservative and basically, most of my life, I’m a bit conservative, too.  Oh, I also wear glasses….the secretary, librarian, teacher-type glasses.  My Master likes my glasses and doesn’t encourage me to get contacts.  (Sometimes I wonder if that is also partly because I can’t see a freakin’ thing without my glasses and he likes to be the one to take my glasses off…either sometimes for sex, or at bed.  That being another way he can control me.  🙂 )  I have always been seen as prim and proper and definitely not “wild”.

That used to bug me.  Not anymore…especially when my someone says something about how innocent I am  and then my Master whispers in my ear, “If they only knew!!!”


  1. As a fellow non-sexy, only cute, 5’2 petite woman who wears glasses/contacts (I’m serious … this is no joke) I totally get where you’re coming from. As I get older, I grow more comfortable with my physicality and I know when I’m at my best. I think all we really need is to know that our man truly and sincerely is attracted to us and finds us sexy. The rest of the world be damned if you have that.

    Regards … GC

  2. Ok so this one is complicated. Sexy. What does that mean? We all know what Cosmo and TV say it means. Those would be the same people who tell you what to wear how big to get your tits made and even now how to get the right plastic surgery to make your vagina look “right”. But lets be real here. Who writes those mags? Who makes those ads? Those bizarre ideas are created by companies that make a massive profit, I mean the kind of money people gladly kill for profit off women thinking they aren’t sexy. In fact especially in our current economic situation here in america we need women to think they are more ugly, it’s good for america! Also a product of the america social situation is the fact that women are placed in competition with each other from the get go. In addition to companies needing your money bad enough to degrade you, other women are doing it. What is so interesting and yes even funny about all this is that no one seems to be listening to real men about what sexy is on a woman. Take the glasses for example. Glasses are a no no in the woman’s world of sexy. But I have NEVER talked to another guy who didn’t think that glasses were down right HOT! Sexy secretary, teacher and what not come girls you have to stop listening to everyone but men about what men like. The trouble with that sadly is men may not always be honest about that. You see we men are also in competition. We have to live up the the expectations of our father figures and a society that judges our worth not on how we look like it does women but on how MANLY we are. So the bs message sent out over the wire about what women should look like had a direct effect on what men think they are supposed to want. But like the glasses issues most of the men I have known well enough to have an honest conversation about these things with come up with very different standards for sexy than you ladies might think. (honest conversation between men about sex means NOT during commercials while watching a sports event guys!) Tv says aggressive slutty women are sexy. Nope wrong! Dom or not men want to feel strong and empowered. A woman can be aggressive but too much is a real turn off. And every man, yes I am going to make a flat out blanket statement, EVERY man wants the classic Madonna/whore. Shy, demur, naive are crazy sexy. We want to feel like we are stronger, more experienced and more sexual because we want to defile you, we want to be the reason you have your sexual awakening. Playboy sells a lot of mags no doubt but every guy still steals the Victoria Secret catalog out of the mail box when it comes. Because naked is great sure but what would christmas be with out wrapping paper? That kind of sex sells because as men we are told we are supposed to buy it. But every man you know has a secret mom, teacher or librarian and so on fetish. We love the innocent waiting to be taken the clean waiting to be made dirty. Toss me in a room filled with super models and school teachers I’m taking home the school teachers. The men who go after the super models are doing it out of insecurity or to show off to other men. And especially in the bdsm world, whats more exciting? Turning a raving slut into a raving slut or turning an innocent naive secretary into your raving slut? Wait hang on I lost my soap box, crap honey did you run off with my soap box?

  3. Oh my bad the question was cute verses sexy. Women please please shoot for cute! The social standard of “SEXY” is an illusion which is far too easily shattered when you turn over your ankle in those heels or drop your fork and spill your drink. Or heaven forbid, pass gas! But cute wow cute is easy because the normal natural blunders we all make reinforce the cute concept. And of course cute mimics innocent which again us men lust for because we want to defile you. Cute is the real sexy. When my girl doesn’t get a sexual reference it not only makes me smile it turns me on. Awww she’s so cute and she is also my sex toy! I can’t wait to explain the reference to her, preferably naked. Now to be fair men tend to be more visual especially at the beginning but we are in fact people too. So deep inside us are rivers of flowing experience and influences which shape the landscape of our desires. Much of which is cultural and deeply depends on where you are raised. Didn’t anyone else see that show Jessica Simpson did on the village in africa where men wont look at a skinny girl and before a wedding women are put in a little hut and forced to fatten up? I guess that tribe forgot to renew their cosmo subscription. Here in america though we got ours and because of that we will say we want to tall cool woman in a black dress because if we don’t our guys friends will start to back away from us to protect their man credit. But give me the short silly woman tripping over her own steps in a pair of tight jeans would you!

  4. “So deep inside us are rivers of flowing experience and influences which shape the landscape of our desires.”

    Such lovely words…I personally feel like all women truly want a warrior poet, someone who can speak from the heart and make them feel cherished on the one hand and then totally kick some serious ass so that they know they are always safe on the other.

    I think men today are very confused and too many of them are acting more and more feminized. Conversely, I think a lot of women are emulating the worst parts of men rather than being true women.

  5. sigh…i know…he IS so awesome, isn’t he?

    Isn’t it funny how over the years society has tried to make less differientation between the sexes…and yet, often, as in many BDSM relaionships, we “secretly” try to get back into more defined roles?

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