The first thing that appeals to me is that I feel like a man should be the boss. No, my family wasn’t really that way, although, somewhat. I always felt like my parents pretty equally did everything. They both worked. They both made decisions. They both parented. But, I think that I always wished that I grew up in the 50s where the wife stayed at home and more or less served her husband. I also feel like it is biblically correct. I mean, someone really has to lead. It is hard to have two leaders in a group, which is why, in my humble opinion, some marriages have a hard time. (Of course there are a million other reasons, too.) In my first marriage, I tried to let my husband be leader. He either couldn’t or wouldn’t. And then there was a million other things that I don’t want to get into here. But to me, it makes sense for one person to lead. It also makes sense that the guy being stronger and more powerful should be that person. It also makes sense to me that a leader is defined by his follower/s. I mean, if he is GIVEN the leadership, then he will work it out. Some better than others. I don’t like to make decisions. I mean, I can. Let’s face it. I am a leader in my job. I make decisions all the time. But, I also love my job and have a passion for it and I’m good at it. I like making decisions in this aspect. But, I DON’T like making other day to day decisions. I guess I’m really just talking about one aspect of the kinks of BDSM. There are so many and so many reasons for it.
I am also sexually attracted to the lifestyle of Dom/sub because basically, being controlled turns me on. I really like being told what to do. I not only feel turned on, but I also feel taken care of. I feel comfort. I feel more sure of myself. I feel more calm. My Master always tells me that I don’t have to worry about pleasing him, because that is his job – to make sure of that through me. If I’m not doing it right, then that is his responsibility to fix that. How much better can it get than that?
There are so many kinks in BDSM that I like, but at first there was only one that I knew about and knew that I really liked. It was spanking. Why? I don’t know. Maybe it was the Penthouse porn story that I read as a kid about a woman getting spanked. Regardless, I knew that I liked it and wanted it. As it turns out, I like a WHOLE lot more than that. I just needed introduced to it, slowly and with the expertise of someone who would be able to make me like it. (Ahhh…another post.) Anyway, the more I learn, the more I like, the more I want. I think that all the kinks that I like in BDSM are related to the control factor somehow.
Isn’t it a perfect fit when 1 person really wants to boss the other person and then 1 person really wants the other to do it? I mean, THAT is a PERFECT FIT!