Day 16: What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally?

I would definitely say that finding friends in the lifestyle, really in the lifestyle and not posing, to talk to and socialize with is difficult.

4 Comments

  1. Hey there … this got me wondering …. do you feel that your involvement in the BDSM lifestyle limits the kind of friendships you can have with people outside of the life? For instance, do you routinely hide this from people or do you have individuals who know about it and accept that part of your life, even if they don’t participate themselves?

  2. I don’t feel that it limits the kind of friendships that we have. We have lots of friends that aren’t in the lifestyle and don’t know that we are into it..particularly family and family friends. Yes, we do routinely hide it from people, but then again, since most of BDSM may be refer to sex in some way, who really goes about NOT hiding that aspect of their lives? There are a few people that know of our lifestyle. People that we may play with know of our lifestyle and may also be into some aspects of it. That doesn’t mean that they are into all of the same things, but sex and friendship entails so much much more than just the fact that I like to be spanked or that I like to drink wine. Even though there are some family and friends that don’t drink wine, that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. I may not drink wine in front of them. Or maybe I do and it is not an issue for them. As long as we are respecting others by not “offending” them, then there are many things to find to be friends about, ya know?

  3. For me I would say its the misunderstanding. I am and have always been a massive feminist and supporter of women’s causes. But because so many people misunderstand BDSM and even more so D/s relationships they instantly get a false idea of what kind of person I am. I am in fact a romantic, a feminist and yes a pretty nice and respectful guy. But since far too many people assume first and think later it makes being open about that aspect of my personality difficult.

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