Wanting more….!…..?

Why does a submissive inevitably at one time or another say that she wants/needs more Dominance?  I’ve read it so many times in so many submissive blogs and stories.

I guess that is because if you are submissive, you really crave being dominated.  It is addictive.  One can only be satiated for a short time.  Being dominated is sexually arousing…..comforting…..sexually satisfying……peace giving…..validating……sexually stimulating…..loving…..caring…..and induces sexual feelings…..feelings of being small and taken care of and….of admiration…..awe…..respect…..and devotion.

Being dominated breeds wanting to be more dominated, but since we are submissive, it is difficult because……uh…we are NOT in charge and therefore we have no control over when we are dominated.

F R U S T R A T I N G

We could/can ASK for more dominance, but to me that doesn’t seem submissive. It also seems like a pressure putter oner.  -yes, I made that up!

And then, as I’ve seen in some blogs, it might be more than we bargained for, maybe it would turn in to too much?

So, what’s a sub to do?

Yes and No Quiz…borrowed from…borrowed from…Hubman!

Feel free to ask for details in the comments on any of these or to steal it for your own blog, just let me know so I can come read your answers!

1. Have you ever had intercourse?
Yes

2. Oral Sex: Given or received an orgasm
Yes to both

3. Licked an ass?
No

4. Had your ass licked?
No

5. Stuck your tongue in their ass?
No

6. Swallowed Cum?
Yes…always

7. Practiced Bondage or BDSM ?
Yes

8. Had anal sex?
Yes

9. Had an orgasm from anal sex?
No

10. Ever squirted or made someone squirt?
No

11. Had sex with someone of the same sex?
Yes

12. Did a threesome?
Yes

13. Did a foursome?
Yes

14. Been in an Orgy?
No

15. Been in a gangbang?
No

16. Had sex in public?
No

17. Snowballed (swapping cum) with someone?
No

18. Had your toes licked or sucked?
No…I am way, way too ticklish for my own toes to be sucked

19. Licked or sucked someone’s toes?
No

20. Had sex with more than one person (one on one only) in a day?
No

21. Had sex with more than one person (one on one only) in a week?
No

22. Had cyber sex or phone sex?
Yes

23. Reached an orgasm?
Yes

24. Watched porn?
Yes

25. Bought a dirty magazine?
Yes

26. Posted nude pictures of yourself on the net?
Yes

27. Let someone video tape you having sex?
Yes

28. Had sex without protection?
Yes

29. Had someone give you a cum facial or gave someone a cum facial?
Yes

30. Have you participated in any type of golden showers?
Yes

31. Have you let anyone or have you shit on anyone?
No …again, No

32. Had sex with a friend’s significant other?
No

33. Ever did one of your significant others friends or relative?
No

34. Have you ever cheated on your significant other?
No

35. Made someone pass out from sex?
No

36. Tasted your own cum?
Yes…meaning pussy juices

37. Masturbated?
Yes

38. Let someone watch you?
Yes

39. Ever showed yourself naked on cam?
Yes

40. Had sex while on your period or while someone was on their period?
Yes

41. Been ate or eaten someone?
Yes

42. Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?
No

43. Had sex in a vehicle?
Yes

44. Been caught having sex?
Yes

45. Paid for sex?
No

46. Used toys during sex?
Yes

47. Used food?
Yes…frosting on cock..mmmm

48. Like pain from a little to extreme during sex?
Yes

49. Ever been dominated in bed?
Yes

50. Ever had a wet dream?
Yes…I have cum in my sleep more than once…I like wake up as soon as it occurs!!!

51. Like to have your ass slapped during sex?
Yes

52. Like having your nipples licked, sucked, or bitten
Yes

53. Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?
No

The END?

TMI Tuesday: July 17, 2012 DARING: What are your 50 shades?

1. I enjoy the idea that my partner wants to inflict pain on me that:

a. makes me curious
b. is titillating and sexually arousing
c. that leaves me screaming and/or crying because that’s the way I like it

The fact that my Master wants to inflict pain on me is very sexually arousing to me.  I think that it is because I know that it arouses him!  I want to be screaming, squealing and crying not because I like the pain, but rather because first of all, I really, really want to please my Master and I really, really want my body to please him.  I want to be the thing that gets my Master off…however that is..truly!  I have also learned that pain heightens everything for me…including arousal in myself.

2. Do you like being forced to dress or act in a way that is humiliating? If yes, please describe. If no, why not?

Read above.  I really want my body to be used however my Master wants.  If you really want to please someone or to have your body be the vehicle that is the arousal source, then you will feel privileged to be made to dress or act in any fashion.  I think this only works if you truly know that you are pleasing or getting your partner aroused.  It only makes sense to me that someone who craves control will want to CONTROL his partner in a variety of fashions…perhaps whatever whim may come…perhaps he may only be trying out things to see what he thinks…or perhaps he knows what excites him and wants it.  Making someone to dress at command or to dress provocatively or to dress younger such as school girl outfits can magnify this power or control, I think.  I also think that talking demeaning can also be used as a power thing, too.  Humiliating someone by making them do things that they don’t really want to do, is also a power thing.  If you trust your partner and want to submit, then doing these things will make one feel more submissive, less powerful, more controlled, and more aroused indeed!

3. Do you like seeing bruises, scars, or marks that were caused during sex on either you or your partner? What kind of marks?

When I first got into BDSM, I only knew the spanking aspect and had only begun to gain knowledge of things like caning and whipping.  At that time I was adamant that I did not want severe pain and absolutely no marks left, especially no bleeding!  But, as time has passed, my curiosity has increased ten-fold.  As I’ve experienced different kinds of spankings, I have wanted more and more and for it not to end when I’m actually being spanked!  Then when I first received bruises, I was like on a thrill every time I went to the bathroom and looked at my behind in the mirror.  Yep!  I was hooked!  I remember one time when I was going to visit family, I asked my Master to please mark me up so that I could have marks on me to ‘remind’ me of him during the visit…even though he was going with me I knew there would not be too much kinkyness!  And, now, I wish that I could receive marks all the time!!!  I read where some Master’s want their subs to take more and more and so I’ve tried at times to resolve myself to take more the next time my Master chooses to spank or whip me with the little flogger, but I don’t usually last long or he stops probably fearing that I am not being able to take it.  Then again, I guess I should discuss this with him because maybe that is not an interest of his at all to make me take more and more?  I’ll let you know on that aspect.  Anyway, because of more and more exposure I have wanted to experience some different things – more pain and maybe even more severe that might cause me to bleed a little bit.  I know that my Master is not into that at all as we’ve discussed it before.  I do know that as far as humiliation he would like to humiliate me more than he does, but he is afraid of hurting me.  I have tried to reassure him, but really don’t know what else to do?  Any suggestions? I would like to humiliated to the point of crying because I think that would make me feel so so vulnerable and even as I started into the BDSM lifestyle, I knew that that is the ONE things above all that really gets me off….that is feeling vulnerable…feeling that I have to endure something…whether pain, chores, humiliation by someone being ‘mean’ to me, or making me do things, …okay…getting hot at this post…let’s ahem move on..

4. Would you like to be forced to do sexual things that you don’t necessarily like to do? Yes or No.

Yes, especially by Master or under the direction of my Master.  First of all, because it makes me feel vulnerable…see above.  Second, because my Master has this way of making me feel so small and so controlled and so captivated and I truly want to do anything to please and the ‘wanting to do anything’ is such a turn on me.  It makes me feel so desired and wanted and sexy and if I’m being praised then ooo…yea..it’s good…even if it is hard to do. 

5. Do you want to be forced to watch your lover with someone else? Yes, No or It depends.

It depends.  It depends on whether I feel that my Master still considers me number 1 and if I am still involved somehow.  This is something that my Master and I have talked at length about.  I believe we are on the same page with this subject.

6. What dirty (sometimes inappropriate) things do you like to say to your sexual partner?

I rarely say anything dirty unless my Master makes me.  Which, by the way, he often does.  He likes to make me say that I am his slut and so forth.  I like and I don’t like it.  First of all, it is embarrassing, and so I don’t like to do it, but on the other hand, after I’ve said it and he says, ‘good girl’, then I feel good about myself and want to keep being a good girl.  

Bonus: Finish this statement: I like being powerful in bed because __________ .  Actually, I don’t like to be powerful in bed at all.

————-

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Day 28: How do you dress for kink/BDSM play?  What significance does your attire have to you?

At this point in time, my dress for kink is simply whatever…  My Master likes it when I wear jeans, actually.  But, he also has an attraction for stockings.  a lot.  Unfortunately, I think I have repressed some of that because it is hard to find time to ‘dress up’ when you aren’t really going anywhere special.  Or where it would be acceptable.  My Master used to like to put an actual collar and leash on me and make me crawl around, but he hasn’t done that in a while.

Now, how would I LIKE to dress for kink/BDSM play?  Well, first of all, I desire to dress however my Master desires me to dress.  We have been around on that point.  He used to dress me for everything, which I liked until I gained a little weight and then certain clothes became uncomfortable and also at work, I was a little apprehensive and wanted to wear what I wanted to wear.  So, we then changed to where I would pick the clothing for work and he would pick the underclothing, but then again, I ran into a comfort issue.  A lot of frilly lingerie is just not conducive to work.  And then as I gained a few pounds, they were too tight and more uncomfortable.  Then we changed to I would pick the work outfits and he would pick the after work outfits.  But, he always chose jeans and I was a little put off by that because he had purchased all these little skirts for me, but then would never pick them for me to wear.  I began to think that he was trying to be sweet and make me comfortable – which is sooo like him.  But, when i asked him, he said that he liked me in jeans!  Okay, well, anyway, I as interested in wearing a little more seductive clothing.  So, I tried picking out some of my won clothing little by little and he didn’t protest and then I began to think that I was too fat and that my legs were too ugly – veiny and so forth blah, blah, I know…but blame it on society, not me!  Then my attire became sweats…LOL!!!  (And i wonder why we are possibly in a ‘rut’!)

Okay, so back to my fantasies…if I had the money to purchase the clothing that I wanted, then i would definitely dress differently…all the time…no not necessarily in leather or in maids outfits, although I am totally NOT against that.  hee hee!  But I would dress sexy all the time.  What is my idea of sexy?  Well, little dresses and heels, little skirts and frilly shirts, sexy lingerie galore…all matching of course!!!  Lots of stockings and garters and corsets.  I would dress sexy for work also….sexy pants and awesome sexy shoes with secret sexy lingerie underneath.  I would want to wear more jewelry…..jewelry that had significance….like necklaces and bracelets and anklets that subtly told that I was submissive.  I would also want to have my hair routinely fixed very sexily to suit my Master.

Okay…enough dreaming.  Maybe I will have to forego some other things in order to get my sexy wardrobe.  Maybe after I lose the weight.  ?  Or maybe I shouldn’t wait.  Whadya think?

Should a submissive take initiative? Or is that not submissive?

This is a very good question!  I’ve always been afraid of doing the wrong thing.  I grew up always wanting to be a ‘good girl’.  Unless I was being bad and then, like the girl with the curl, I was very, very bad.  Well, i guess that depends on who you ask.  My Master would say that I was brought up in a COMPLETELY different world than he.  So, my idea of bad, is not as bad as his idea of bad.

So, when I met my Master, I knew absolutely NO-THING about BDSM.  In fact, I didn’t know what BDSM stood for nor s&m or anything like that.  I DID know that spanking was a thing, because I knew that I liked it and that is a more common and acceptable kink, so it is out there, ya know?

My Master told me not to worry that he would make sure that I made him happy that all I had to do was obey him and tell him my true feelings and so forth.  He promised to take care of me and he has like no other guy – EVER!!!

But, lately, because of the ‘rut’, I have felt so much guilt over the fact that he seems so stressed and so laden with responsibility (we have a lot going on in our lives) and then for this, too.

I started thinking that maybe I could help things, by not just acquiescing to what he might come up with – which, by the way, I think that he may hold back on expressing for fear of hurting me or weirding me out.  Even thought we have talked of these things and even though we watch porn and I say, yes, I like that.  He still has reservations…which is so sweet.

So, I asked him about the question:  Should a submissive take initiative?  Or is that not submissive?  And my Master answered very clearly.  He said, “Your job is to make me happy and my job is to take care of you. So, it is not only acceptable for you, but pleasurable for you to SUGGEST things that I may like. And then I will answer yes or no.  Going ahead and doing things without permission – NO!”

That really gave me some ideas that I may like to try since I have some extra time right now in my life to be able to put our relationship, not only at the forefront, but also to try and enhance things!

I think a couple of things that might be interesting to suggest are:

  • Finding and sharing stories, not only for fun and excitement, but also to share what I think he and I may enjoy sharing, and maybe take away some of the inhibitions or apprehensions that he may be feeling.
  • Maybe suggesting a day per week that it be my job to come onto him. This would be quite difficult for me, because I fear rejection, but it would be a chore that I would be willing to perform for him.
  • Learn about what other submissives do and see if they are things he would like me to do.

This is all that I can think of right now, but I definitely am excited about the new possibilities!

 

In a rut?

In a rut?  It sounds horrible, like some people who have gotten bored with their life…or their sex life.  It sounds like something old people might do when they are just into vanilla boredom.  So, that is not how I see us, my Master and I, at all!  First of all, we don’t just have vanilla sex.  And I love having sex with my Master and he says that he also feels the same way in that he still desires me and so forth, blah, blah.  So, first let me define what our “rut” is.  It appears to me that our rut can be defined as way less sex and way less BDSM.  That is really the only way that I can describe it.  We HAVE both been under a lot of stress the past little while…ok…for the past year.  Family issues have been somewhat stressful…ok…way stressful.  Of course for me, my whole life has been pretty stressful, it seems.  So, this past year has not been that much stress for me as it has for my Master and that is because he spends an ENORMOUS amount of time trying to take the stress off of me.  He likes to be in charge and he likes responsibility because he likes to be in control, so it has worked for us….except that he has been way stressed out.  Things as of a month or so ago, though, have really, really changed for us.  So, then it has been rest and recoup time.  We talked some and hopefully, we can recharge and move forward.  It is hard in this respect to be the submissive because I don’t want to be in charge and I’m not, so to make the first move is difficult.  Luckily, we have a great relationship and we talk a lot about difficult things.

About a month ago, we agreed that we needed to “get back on track” as he calls it. One of the first things that we did was agree to start a diary which we would mail to each other weekly.  (Well….lol that didn’t last.)  We decided that we would discuss each other’s thoughts and feelings in each other’s diary.  Great idea!  But, then when the second week in, my Master sent his diary to me, I was a little upset.  That is because I read that he was not as excited about sex.  WOW!  that hit me like a brick, actually.  On the one hand, i have not done much to promote sex, so I could say that I am partly to blame.  But, my reasons, I say to myself, are because I have been so tired and because my Master very often doesn’t feel good or is stressed and so it just feeds into .

We talked about this some and Master’s first response was that he felt bad for making me feel bad and that he didn’t want to write if that was going to happen.  We talked about getting “back on track”  and Master said he would write some new rules for me to follow since my last set of rules had gone mostly by the wayside.  Not completely.  We have never not been Dom/sub.  We are always that and I feel it has become more ingrained in me than ever….at least for me!  I don’t really do anything without permission…or prior permission.  It has become second nature for me to ask.  And over the course of the past year, I NEVER go anywhere by myself anymore.  My Master drives me to and from work.  He does all the shopping either by himself or takes me with if I want something in particular.  Even if I have meetings at other places than my home base, he will pick me up and drive me there and pick me up…usually.  Every once in a great while, i will drive myself, but he doesn’t like me to.  It is as much a control thing for him, as it is a relationship bonding time for us.  We enjoy riding in the car and chit chatting!

Anyway, a few more days,a  week or so went by and Master didn’t give me a new set of rules or for that matter, we had no discussion on the matter.  Well, Friday or was it Saturday night I went to bed and I was so tired.  Really, too tired for instigating sex, although i would have gladly and enthusiastically complied if he would have made a move, but no…so…I went to sleep.  Or..I tried.  But I kept thinking about our ‘predicament’ that we had both agreed was a *gasp* ‘rut’.  Suddenly at 11:30pm, I became wide awake and decided that we needed to talk.  And we seem to do our best talking while riding.  So, I went to the bathroom and fixed myself up a bit…put on some mascara, put my jeans on, jewelry and perfume and said…”let’s go out!  I want a cigar!”  Well, let me tell you, we had a wonderful time.  We drove  around for quite awhile and smoked and talked.  I can’t remember exactly what we talked about, but I felt better after discussing our relationship.  One of the things that Master had mentioned in his diary previously was that he really wanted to get back into swinging and I DO want to do that.  It is exciting and all, but not until we get our own relationship back “on track”, which he totally agreed with.  Then we both decided we were hungry and went to a bar and ate Nachos and it was a blast!!!  ahhhh…so nice to not only talk about important issues so that you can know where you stand, but ALSO to have a good time.  LOVE IT!!!

My new rules…from Master

Right now, for a time undetermined..these are my new rules.

This coming after my Master and I are (hopefully) coming out of a rut.  That in another post.

Basic Rules

1. Ask Permission 

Prior to computer usage

Prior to phone calls

Prior to going to sleep

Prior to changing cloths

Prior to bathing

Prior to exercise

Prior to walking dog

2. Behavior

Do not raise your voice.

Wait attentively for responses.

Make honest attempts to fulfill directions and obey commands.

If you can not fulfill a direction inform your Master asap.

Do not slam doors or cabinets.

Daily Schedule

8 am – 9 am

Wake up & make coffee and computer time

Make Coffee When presenting coffee always stand next to your Master with coffee in hand and eyes down. Wait for your Master to take the coffee from your hands.

9 am – 10 am

Exercise

10 am – 11 am

Cleaning

11 am – 12 am

Shower & computer time

Inquire as to which perfume should be worn for the day.

Prior to your shower look in the mirror for 1 minute. Repeat the phrase “I am my Master’s pet. My Master loves me and finds me beautiful. There for I am beautiful.”

12 am – 2 pm 

Nap time

2 pm – 3 pm 

Computer time

3 pm – 4 pm

Projects to be assigned daily.

5 pm

Dinner and free time

Read and or update your submissive blog & Twitter.

Write in your diary.

8 pm 

Inspection

Strip naked and present yourself for inspection by your Master.

Present the clothing you wish to wear to be to your Master.

Repercussions 

Tardiness

Tardiness in excess of 2 minutes on any scheduled tasked shall result in two lashes for every minute of tardiness.

Permission

Failure to ask permission for a task requiring permission shall result in two lashes.

Poor Behavior

Any violation of the behavior section of the rules shall result in five lashes.

 

I venture to say that I shall be very successful at this!!!

Day 27: Do your non-kink interests ever find their way into your kinky activities?

Rather than that, I think that we try to find ways to work our kinky activities into our non-kink interests, which would be everything else in our life!!!  For example, when being with family, especially extended family where we have to be in close quarters, I enjoy that we try to still hold onto our relationship of Dom/sub, but exhibit it in more subtle ways – such as when I ask permission for something in front of family, I have permission to say it more as a statement, if necessary, and then look to him for a nod of permission.  If he is not around, I always say that I’ll check with him.  That may come across as a little absurd in this day and age, but not too absurd.  I love to watch movies…and then talk about them with my Master.  But I REALLY love watching any movie that hints at BDSM or swinging or other kinks.  I am interested in being more healthy and that includes exercising.  In my life, my master controls my exercise by telling me how much I am allowed to do and whether I can skip or not.  (NOT).  Travel, which is something I am interested in doing, really a lot now that we have less responsibilities, is something that I know that we both hope to work our kink into.  For me, the possibility of traveling somewhere where people don’t know me, lends itself for me to be more submissive publicly.  mmmmmm!!!!  Reading is another of my interests which I try to read the kinky stuff a lot.  Or I read things  of a more historical angle where the woman is just naturally more submissive due to the culture. But, as you can see, I am working my kink into my interest nevertheless, even if subtly.  Computing is one of my favorite past times and look where i am?!  I love jewelry, even if I don’t have that much, but I adore any jewelry that represents BDSM.  i don’t have that much, but I do have my beloved Cartier bracelet, which has never been removed from my wrist.  I may be at a professional meeting, but I can look at my bracelet and know that I am owned!  Yep, I don’t think that my non-kink interests get in the way of my kinky activities but rather I try to work my kinky activities into all of my life – even if subtly.

 

Sinful Sunday

I reminded my Master that today was Sunday….Sinful Sunday.  He asked me what i had to wear that I could remove/put-on quickly.  I chose my little tank dress – no bra or panties, of course!  We drove to the beach and walked along a bit.  It was so beautiful at night.  I love the sound of the waves coming in.  Then my Master found a little bit of seclusion and I removed my dress and he started directing me and snapping pics and this was our favorite.  What do you think?

Night on the Beach 🙂

Sinful Sunday

TMI Tuesday

  1. Complete the sentences by filling in the blanks.1. I could spend all day _______  but couldn’t stand five minutes  _______ .     …Let’s see.  I could spend all day watching tv, but couldn’t stand five minutes watching wrestling!2. I would love to have a robot in my house to do _______  because no one else ever does.  …the cat litter box!!!…

    3. The older you get the more _______  you get.     …laid back and confident…

    4. I want to  _______  when I _______  .     …look entirely fuckable when i breathe….is that too much to ask???

    5. My appetite for _______ can never be satisfied.     …..chocolate…especially dark chocolate.

    Bonus: If I were a hoarder, I would hoard _______ …..sexy clothing and shoes!!!

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