This is a very good question! I’ve always been afraid of doing the wrong thing. I grew up always wanting to be a ‘good girl’. Unless I was being bad and then, like the girl with the curl, I was very, very bad. Well, i guess that depends on who you ask. My Master would say that I was brought up in a COMPLETELY different world than he. So, my idea of bad, is not as bad as his idea of bad.
So, when I met my Master, I knew absolutely NO-THING about BDSM. In fact, I didn’t know what BDSM stood for nor s&m or anything like that. I DID know that spanking was a thing, because I knew that I liked it and that is a more common and acceptable kink, so it is out there, ya know?
My Master told me not to worry that he would make sure that I made him happy that all I had to do was obey him and tell him my true feelings and so forth. He promised to take care of me and he has like no other guy – EVER!!!
But, lately, because of the ‘rut’, I have felt so much guilt over the fact that he seems so stressed and so laden with responsibility (we have a lot going on in our lives) and then for this, too.
I started thinking that maybe I could help things, by not just acquiescing to what he might come up with – which, by the way, I think that he may hold back on expressing for fear of hurting me or weirding me out. Even thought we have talked of these things and even though we watch porn and I say, yes, I like that. He still has reservations…which is so sweet.
So, I asked him about the question: Should a submissive take initiative? Or is that not submissive? And my Master answered very clearly. He said, “Your job is to make me happy and my job is to take care of you. So, it is not only acceptable for you, but pleasurable for you to SUGGEST things that I may like. And then I will answer yes or no. Going ahead and doing things without permission – NO!”
That really gave me some ideas that I may like to try since I have some extra time right now in my life to be able to put our relationship, not only at the forefront, but also to try and enhance things!
I think a couple of things that might be interesting to suggest are:
- Finding and sharing stories, not only for fun and excitement, but also to share what I think he and I may enjoy sharing, and maybe take away some of the inhibitions or apprehensions that he may be feeling.
- Maybe suggesting a day per week that it be my job to come onto him. This would be quite difficult for me, because I fear rejection, but it would be a chore that I would be willing to perform for him.
- Learn about what other submissives do and see if they are things he would like me to do.
This is all that I can think of right now, but I definitely am excited about the new possibilities!