My last post on this subject said that I was going to post the answer on tomorrow after I had thought about it. Needless to say, I continued to think about it. I’ve also been busy and not taken the time to write because I was sick with a bad cold for a week and then spent a week trying to catch up at work. But, my Master reminded me that I had better get busy with the posts, and my other chores, because the week is sliding by.
The pros and cons of sharing my Master. Where to start on this post? First background information. I have always known that my Master would love to have 2 or maybe 3 submissives. We talked about it way at the beginning of our getting to know each other phase. I remember telling him that I didn’t know if I could handle that – not being the ONLY one. He told me that he would never add someone until I was ready. Well, I thought, I will NEVER be ready, so I guess I don’t need to worry about that! As time progressed, I always knew that some of my Master’s great fantasies included other women. Before I met my Master, I had never had any kind of sexual experience with another woman. And then, gradually, gradually, over the time we have been together, I guess he (My Master) has really slowly put his plan into action. He’s so good, you know, that I never really saw it coming. But all that is another, or several other posts.
I think I will use the initials of PLAYING WITH OTHERS to help me discuss the PROS of this issue. I’m sure that I could think of a million things, both pro and con, but I’m going to go with this, I think.
PRO P – Being submissive, I really, really want to PLEASE my Master. Since I know that he wants to have other pussy, other than my own, then sharing my Master would definitely be a way to please him. It is quite amazing to myself to realize that I really and truly grow deeper into submission all the time, which shows itself to me in different ways, but one most significant is that I want to please him more and more as time goes by. He makes me want to, I think.
PRO L – I LOVE my Master and I know that he LOVES me. Because of this, I know that he would never do anything to break my trust in him. He promised long ago to take care of his precious treasure and so far he has kept his word and been the most awesome of all Masters, not to mention most awesome guy of all!
PRO A – APPEAL – There really is an appeal to this for me, too. I love sex, what can I say. And my Master says that he doesn’t want other sex without me. So if I can be involved, in some way, in all sex, even with another? Then it’s win/win for me, right?
PRO Y – YOURS – I’m his. enough said.
PRO I – INCREASED self-confidence with my abilities. When I please my Master, my self-confidence improves. When I submit to sex with another man or woman, per my Master, if I do a good job, as in I give an awesome blowjob, or eat some pussy to make some other girl happy, then my own self-confidence improves! After meeting up with another couple to have sex, and they want to meet again, I know that part of it is because my Master is really good, but also, I know that I have appeal, too. That’s especially nice when I hear compliments from the other couple to tell me that I have done a good job.
PRO N – NEW – new things are often fun and exciting!
PRO G – GOING OUT – Getting dressed up to go out and play is like going on a date with someone new as well as with your best friend! I love to get dressed up and go out. And I’m not talking about dressing up in BDSM gear, although, that sounds like it would be fun! I’m just talking about the anticipation of going out on a Friday or Saturday night, dressing up and looking good, or trying to look good. It’s a lot of fun!
PRO W – WIN/WIN – If I get to have fun, and at the same time, so does my Master, then it really is a win/win!
PRO I – INCREASED SELF-CONFIDENCE with my appearance. When I’m told by my Master that I am desirable, it is soo incredibly awesome. It is definitely multiplied when someone else confirms it. It makes me feel really good, when someone that I sucked off, tells my husband that it is the BEST blowjob that they’ve ever had! WOW! That really is a confidence booster! And if they talk about remembering their hands in my soft hair? Well, you KNOW that makes me want to go buy conditioner rather than the 2 in 1 shampoo/conditioner? Right??
PRO T – Man, if you can trust your guy to have sex with another woman and STILL want you the best? Then, really, REALLY you must have TRUST.
PRO H – HANGUPS – honestly, some hangups go out the window. Like how, for example? Well, I’m, shall we say, not in my 20’s. And if a 20 year old wants to fuck me, then I’m suddenly a MILF! That hangup? ….out the window!
PRO O – OTHERS?- actually, there can be a lot of fun in others… as I’ve had the pleasure of experiencing, due to my Master!
PRO T – TAKEN – Doesn’t that word just make you wet? Well, it does me. I love the thought of being MADE to submit. But, only because I have such trust in my Master. It’s taken me awhile to see what others meant when they said that. I mostly didn’t believe it. Time changes things, however.
PRO E – EXCITING – It really is exciting to go out with someone new. Remember the feeling? If you are in a stable relationship and have been for awhile, then you know remember how exciting it can be to date. It also is a drag to go home and wonder and wonder about where you stand and what the future holds. But if you already have that stability and yet can still have exciting times together with new experiences…it is simply awesome!
PRO R – REAL LIFE – After going out for a kinky night of fun, you then have to get to real life – back to job, maybe kids, your same old, same old. But if you can reminisce in your real life about how much fun you had, what you did and didn’t like about your last date with others, it can be enhancing! I say that because, my Master and I have had some awesome sex AFTER we came back from dates!
PRO S – SEX – And really, how can I resist that…especially if I must!
And now, the CONS, which are basically FEARS:
CON P – Fear of PHYSICAL PAIN – Being into BDSM and knowing there is a broad range of SM, I fear getting hurt. Not to get me wrong, I do like some pain. More than I used to think that I did. But I also don’t want to be seriously hurt, nor damaged. And I have an extremely sensitive clit, so direct stimulation can be painful. This is a real fear, if you are restrained. HOWEVER, my Master has done a very good job of protecting me when I’ve been with others (which has really not been that many experiences). He is very good at talking and getting into specifics before we play and to date we have played with more who were not into BDSM and none who were actually into s&m. For to me to submit to sex with others is me being dominated by him, so this kink can be satisfied without having for me to being submitted to another master or mistress.
CON L – LOSING love, affection, time together – another fear – that I might lose my Master’s love or affection to another. Again, he has stated that he doesn’t want sex without me, but I still have that fear.
CON A – AFFECTION for another – basically jealousy. Seeing my Master show affection to another can have conflicting emotions. On the one hand, I am often happy to see him show affection to someone because I know that it makes them feel good, just like I like it when I receive affection from someone else. But, still, the pangs of jealousy attack. And I’m also aware that this is a plus for my Master because he likes to see me a little jealous.
CON Y – YEARS from now – how will that play out? I fear this future because I am in my late 40’s now and age is not pretty. Men usually are able to “have” younger counterparts because it is socially and culturally acceptable. Older men are seen as distinguished and good looking when bald and/or gray. I myself am attracted to all kinds, including bald and gray. The funny thing is – my Master is SEVERAL years younger than me. Someday, it will be quite a bit more noticeable than it is now. Look at Hugh Heffner, the playboy mansion owner and mogul. Not only is he still considered sexy, but he has tons and tons of young girlfriends and has continued to marry over the years! There is no female counterpart in the business of sex.
CON I – ILLNESS – I am totally not interested in getting a transmittable disease or virus. ugh…enough said. That is the advantage of playing with couples, I think.
CON N – NEAR OR FAR – Sometimes we have gone to play with others quite some distance away. This is safer as far as the likelihood of meeting a coworker or something. Because I AM in the closet about my kinks. But driving far away to meet up with others is a pain, no doubt.
CON G – GAG – ok, so I have a gag reflex. I have been told that I give awesome blowjobs. I like that. I fear I may come upon more or less a rival that might not have a gag reflex and again, jealousy! Sometimes, I think that being able to give awesome head is a plus for me even if I feel bad about myself for other reasons. I really don’t want that taken away, but inevitably, playing with others will lend itself to eventually meeting someone with great ability also, or maybe even better.
CON W – WAKING to find something to make me jealous. So far in our play, we have only played for an evening. We have not spent the night anywhere. I know my Master has talked about getting a sub to live in. One that would be a girlfriend for me and a girlfriend for him, so to speak. I don’t know how that would EVER work out, because honestly I can’t see somebody wanting a place like that, but I guess there must be out there somewhere. But, in any case, we have often discussed, because I have asked, how certain things would work in his envisioning. We have discussed how a live-in sub would work – kind of like a roommate. I’ve asked about sleeping arrangements. He has talked about having a sub on each side of him. We used to have a king-sized bed, so that might have worked, I guess, but then I’ve often wondered how I would feel if I woke to see the two of them caressing or having sex? Or waking to see the two of them asleep, but with arms around each other or something else exclusionary. I know my Master tries to alleviate my fears, but jealousy is there.
CON I – INDIFFERENCE – Another fear. What if my Master started to see me with indifference? Or what if the other sub saw me indifferently? jealousy.
CON T – TEASING – My Master likes to tease me. It is true. However, sometimes teasing can be unknowingly hurtful or just to the right of jealousy.
CON H – HUMILIATE – I know that my Master actually enjoys some humiliation of me. And I also know that he refrains because he does not want to hurt me. I can appreciate this venue of domination. I’m afraid, as jealousy once again rears it’s ugly head, that humiliation might become more prominent and perhaps might even come from another sub geared toward me. I’m not sure how I feel about that. I might even enjoy it, because of the vulnerability factor, the smallness feeling factor. But, I also know that my Master thinks of me as his treasure, so I know that he loves me despite a humiliating scene. I’m not sure about another sub. Or what if the other sub started receiving what I thought should be for me?
CON O – ORGASMS – You would think that this would be in the pro section. Here is the thing. I take a very long time to reach orgasm. On the one hand, it makes for awesome orgasms. On the other hand, I’m jealous of those that reach it so easily, even if it only appears to be a small orgasm. What if in playing with others, I see that happening and become extremely jealous. I guess in this particular instance, I am thinking of a long-term second sub, because when we play with others, I do not usually come, even though I enjoy myself. I do love to see others come. I just don’t know how I would feel if there was a live in sub who was constantly “outdoing” me, so to speak.
CON T – TEMPER – I often get on my Master’s nerves. I don’t like it when I make him lose his temper. He is never violent or anything. It just makes me feel so bad. I worry that all my insecurities will wear on him and then he might be likely to lose his temper.
CON H – HEARING – One time, when we were playing with others, I kept hearing my Master talking about how awesome this woman was that he was fucking. I did have a good time, but felt uneasy and very, very jealous. Come to find out, later, that he was actually talking about me, but I didn’t know. It was one of the first times that we played with another couple and we were all together on one bed and when he said “look at that ass!” and things like that, I thought he was talking about her. I tried to be happy about that, but I was so freaking jealous! He said that he had said a lot of stuff like that to try and show me that he was including me in his sex and even was touching me a lot, but I was not even aware of his touch.
CON E – EXCITEMENT without me. Again, the jealousy issue. I get jealous when even hearing about my Master talking or texting with another. To his credit, he has reassured me that he is just trying to make the other person feel good, as he should.
CON R – RIVAL – I worry about anyone becoming a rival for my Master’s attentions. Sharing is not the same as someone wanting it ALL, so to speak. I, do want it ALL, but am not willing to share it ALL with someone else. I fear that someday, someone will come along, perhaps thinking that they want to be a second sub, but then decide they want it ALL. And what if, at that time, my Master agrees.
CON S – SEX without me. I know, jealousy – the root of most fears!
Well, that wraps it up…my pros and cons of sharing my Master or playing with others. I kind of sense that Sharing my Master might entail more of a second sub aspect, whereas, playing with others, might be more of a play type thing. I tried to cover both aspects. Any thoughts out there?