Saturday Night with “Ben” and “Beatrice”.

Not their REAL names, of course, but we did meet up with them last night. I was busy talking on the phone to my Mom and I got a text from my Master and he said, “Plans tonight. Get ready.” Yikes! I only had an hour!!! Okay…bye to Mom and then jump in the shower and wash hair and shave, including my lady bits. My Master likes me shaven completely. I ask him to check me and he approves.

The plans were to meet up with another couple who just wanted to have same bed sex and then see what happens. They said this was their first time doing this. We met at their apartment, which was really cute. Ben had dark hair and was a bit stocky. Beatrice was also dark-haired and was a little “fluffy” as we like to say. I was definitely the shy one of the bunch, and the less talkative. Fortunately, they brought out a bottle of wine and I started to feel a little more relaxed. After quite a bit of talk, we started to make out on opposite ends of their very large vinyl couch. I was thoroughly enjoying myself, because I LOVE to kiss my Master. My Master started to undress me and we started making out heavier. Eventually, things led to the bedroom and we started to have sex – us on our side of the bed, and them on theirs. Then my Master told me to reach over and touch Beatrice. I hesitated because I was not sure she had any bisexual inclinations and didn’t know if that would be welcome or not. My Master then asked her if she minded. She replied the affirmative and so I began to fondle her fairly large tits. I think they were a nice size, personally. They were bigger than mine, but I don’t think her nipples were as nice as mine even though her nipples were one thing in the pics that were sent to him that he said that he DID like. Soon I was told to eat her pussy, which I, of course, complied. I really, surprisingly to myself, enjoy it. I especially enjoy it if the recipient is showing that she likes it. As soon as my mouth covered her clit and surrounding area, she started making noises and before a few minutes were up, she came. Wow! I love that feeling of success that I feel! A little later, I made her cum with my mouth again. She screamed that time. My Master fucked her and Ben fucked me – hard. I also sucked his cock, gagging several times while he moaned his pleasure. On and on we went for quite some time. Finally, my Master needed me to pay attention to his cock. I happily went to him and sucked his cock and soon he was fucking me, smacking my pussy and tits and his huge cock in my pussy was so welcome and it hurt like a m_______. He was thrusting really hard into me from the edge of the bed and I was yelling, Ow, upon each thrust. After a time, he switched it up a bit and positioned himself so that he was entering me a little more easily. Oh, how I LOVE his cock! mmmmmmmm…

The entire encounter with Ben and Beatrice was pleasant and fun! I made Beatrice cum twice, but I’m not sure that she came at any other time during the night, not even when her husband was banging her in the pussy and in the ass and choking her a bit upon her request. I know my Master came twice. I’m not sure if Ben came? He was semi-hard on and off all night. I didn’t make him cum when I sucked him, which disappointed me. ūüė¶ I thought it was strange that he didn’t cum all night? hmmm…oh, well, I shouldn’t say that at all, because I never came either! LOL I never cum when we play, though. I take a long time to cum. Nevertheless…I think a good time was had by all. They wrote an email the next morning to say that they enjoyed us and hope we can hook up again. Not sure if we will, though, because I don’t think my Master was terribly attracted to the female. On the other hand, I know he enjoyed me. That for me, was the BEST part of all!

Friday Night with “Alex”

Of course that is not his REAL name. My Master set up a date for us to meet up with Alex to play. He was described as a young man who was submissive and bisexual. We were to meet near his place. I was very nervous. We parked the car and Master came around to my side of the car and opened the door. I stepped out and held His hand as we walked toward the meeting destination.

Alex was VERY tall. He was 6’6″ with blond wavy, just below the chin length hair. He wore wire glasses and looked like a quiet intellectual. My Master greeted him and we followed him on foot to his place. It was very small. The place was filled with a warm ambience– with a candle burning and Pandora playing on his large computer screen. We sat down on his couch with him, chatted briefly and my Master told me to let him have a look. I stood up in front of Alex and slowly turned, feeling quite a flush come over me. I was embarrassed at being in the spotlight. Then my Master told me to let him have a BETTER look. So I slowly removed my pants, my shirt, and my bra and socks. I was commando tonight. I looked at Alex and he was so nervous and shy, I could see that. I smiled at him, but he only smiled briefly back. But his eyes didn’t leave my body, so I think he was pleased. Then my Master told him that it was his turn. He got up and removed his clothing very nervously, revealing a very trim, slim build and a very black hairy chest. I didn’t think it matched his blond head hair and hairless face. He also revealed no erection. I wondered at this. Was he too nervous for an erection? Was my body not a turn on for him? Was he more interested in my Master?

My Master then told me to make him feel more comfortable. I went over to him and planted a couple of kisses on his chest and let my hands roam across his shoulders, chest, and back. I noticed stubble on his back and thought, wow, he must really be hairy. And then I wondered if he had someone help him to shave his back or what? I started thinking, why shave your back? I am thinking, either embrace your hairy back or have it waxed. I personally love hairy chest and body, but I prefer to suck a shaved cock. Alex’s cock and balls were shaved. My breasts were very much at cock level. I rubbed my little tits across his now hard cock. I let my hands wander down his body to his genitals and then I kneeled and began to suck his cock and balls. His cock and balls were much smaller than my Masters. He seemed to enjoy my work. I sucked him more and soon my Master instructed me get out a condom, open the package and give it to Alex. My master directed me to fuck him and I continued to suck and fuck him.

Throughout the next couple hours, I continued to follow Masters instructions. After some time, Alex really began to wear out and I think he was having trouble keeping an erection by now. So my Master decided it was time to end the play. My Master asked him how many orgasms he had and he said three. Then he said multiple. I was very surprised to hear that because I hadn’t tasted any cum at any time during our sex. I also didn’t notice any cum in the first condom which I was told to throw away.

My Master did not undress, nor attempt at all to join in for most of the time. That, of course, was his prerogative. He said he enjoyed watching us. At one point, he did start fucking me while I sucked Alex’s cock. Later my Master said that he enjoyed watching. He told me that I looked so tiny next to this giant. His little girl! He told me I was a good girl for doing as he asked.

We said our goodbyes, thanking each other for a wonderful time and then Alex gave my Master an email in which to get in touch again. I AM a good girl indeed.

Drinking Makes Me Horny

When I drink a little, I get horny. I start thinking more “dirty thoughts”. I feel more submissive on the one hand, yet more bold, on the other. Perhaps it is not more “horny”, but rather more relaxed, more able to let my true self be revealed- my submissive and yes, horny, nature.

You know what? I hate the word horny! What is a better word? Help me!

Play Tonight?

I’m once again nervous at the prospect of my Master taking me out for us to have fun. What does that mean? Right now, for us, it means that he is looking for us to have sex in some capacity with someone or some other couple. Recently he has been trying to set us up with another bi individual to play with. Once was a disaster, but also hilariously funny. The other didn’t work out because of location. Tonight we have plans to meet a bi submissive male. I’m very nervous because we have never played with a bi male. I don’t know if there will be any Bdsm play. All I do know is that I am nervous, but less so with two glasses of wine. And I also know that I am eager to please my Master. I hope I don’t disappoint him. I hope I make him proud. Details soon.

Pain not Pleasure or Pleasure not Pain or Both Pain And Pleasure

My parents spanked me and my sisters for punishment. ¬†It was never sexual in any way whatsoever. ¬†One time, however, when I was 13 or so, I remember that my mother spanked me. ¬†It was very rare that she would have spanked me at this age. ¬†I believe that all of us, me and my siblings, were getting swatted for some reason. ¬†She always just swatted us on the behind with a wooden spoon, over clothing. ¬†But THIS time, after about the 3rd swat, I felt really weird. I think I was actually feeling a twinge of “turned on”. ¬†I turned to my mother and told her to stop and I told her that she would have to punish me in other ways because I was too old to be spanked. ¬†My mother was surprised, but never spanked me again.

When I was an adult just embarking upon kinky sex, I knew that for some reason I was totally intrigued and turned on by spankings. ¬†I would search the internet for spanking pics, stories, and videos. ¬†I remember, as a youngster, reading a porn magazine that belonged to my father. ¬†It was a Pent House magazine and there was a story in there about this woman who had gone clothes shopping with either her sisters or friends. ¬†Upon returning, her husband was very mad at her for having purchased all this clothing. ¬†As I remember the story, he decided he wanted her to try on and show him all the clothing that she bought. ¬†She and the other girls with her were made to model all the clothing that they bought and then they were all spanked ¬†as punishment. ¬†I was very turned on at a young teenager at reading this story. ¬†I also remember, much later into adulthood, in particular, watching this video (obviously a common porn story scenario, but I didn’t know that, having watched virtually zero porn up to this point), where a young woman was ushered into an office where she was being “interviewed” for something. ¬†The guy told her to get up on the table and he said something like, “Let’s see how much you can take.” ¬† The girl got up on the desk and spread her legs and the guy proceeded to lightly flog her pussy. ¬†Okay, it really, really turned me on. ¬†I watched the video and then spread my legs and gently smacked my pussy a few times, rubbing my clit until I came!

So, when I first met my Master, I knew that I liked to be spanked.  But that was all there was to tell at that time.  My views changed with my experience.  At times, when my Master would spank me, I would get really turned on and want him to spank harder Рespecially if he built up slowly.  Then he began to use other implements on me besides his hand Рa wooden spoon, a belt, a small flogger, a plastic hanger.  I began to find that after a little bit of pain, I would suddenly be more sensitive everywhere in my body and then want a little more to increase that sensitivity.

I also wanted my pussy spanked.  Not really directly on my clit, because I have an extremely sensitive clit Рdammit.  Not enough to make me cum fast, but more than enough to turn a light smack in the wrong place (or right place) into enormous pain.  But, I began to learn that spanking or smacking my pussy lips and inner thighs and ESPECIALLY right over my vagina made me very turned on and in turn made me want to cum, badly.

I have found other pain to also be a turn on to me Рface slapping, nipple pinching and breast slapping.  For me it seems to be not only the pain factor or build up of pain factor that begins to cause me pleasure, but also the submissive factor.

I don’t know how I began to want more pain. ¬†I know that when I first became sub to my Master, I remember telling him that I didn’t want to receive marks on me at all and I only wanted slight pain. ¬†The first time that I had marks, I was thrilled. ¬†I had asked for marks because it was going to be awhile before I was going to see my Master again, as this was before we married, and I wanted marks to remind me of Him. ¬†I think ¬†the marks reminded me of the pain and the pain took the pleasure meter way up. ¬†I also remember one of the first times that I was spanked by my Master in a very slow, methodical way. ¬†It was very slow and very easy, but for a long period of time before increasing. ¬†I remember as the smacks became harder, I really think I started to zone a bit. ¬†And I really hardly felt the smacks, all of a sudden. ¬†It startled me and I quickly came out of the zone. ¬†But I remember thinking….Oh, WOW! ¬†I wonder if this is what I’ve heard about…the sub space? ¬†Anyway, I haven’t experienced that again, but I have learned to tolerate more and more pain with the wonderful prize of becoming more excited and turned on. ¬†YAY!

Does this mean that I ALWAYS feel pain and then get turned on? ¬†UH…NO! ¬†There is a difference between pain for punishment and pain for torture. ¬†Read previous post on this subject. ¬†

When I feel vulnerable, then I feel more turned on Рsimply put.  Being spanked makes me feel vulnerable.  Feeling pain makes me feel vulnerable. Feeling humiliated or treated as more of an object or a little girl or someone who needs taken care of.   And this, in turn, makes me feel more turned on and more excited.  Thus I want more and more.   I also know that when my Master smacks me, or humiliates me, He gets hard.  THAT is the best of all!


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Punishment vs. Torture

In the context of our BDSM relationship, we have defined TORTURE as something that is for fun or purely arousal.  In fact the definition of torture is the action or practice of inflicting severe pain on someone as a punishment or to force them to do or say something, or for the pleasure (in SM, this may be sexual pleasure) of the person inflicting the pain.  I may be spanked purely as torture or I may be spanked as PUNISHMENT which is not fun and is a result of atonement for wrong doing.  The definition of punishment is the infliction or imposition of a penalty as retribution for an offense.

Why is this important? ¬†In our relationship, it is very important to differentiate the two. ¬†I sometimes want to ASK for either TORTURE or PUNISHMENT. ¬†If I have been bratty and then proceed to ask for my Master to TORTURE me, ¬† (As in I’m horny and wish to be spanked, because it is a turn-on for me.), then my Master not only will NOT want to give me any pleasure at all, but also this will anger him because I have not properly yet paid for my offense(s). ¬†On the other hand, if I am feeling the need to really want to pay for my crimes and I want him to give me punishment in order to show how very sorry I am and want to feel that I have atoned, then he will be happy with my request.

This was our discussion today and I feel so happy to have this clarification. ¬†I feel so much better and I can’t wait for tonight after the movie time so that I can get on my knees and ask for further punishment. ¬†I do feel like He punished me some today with the capcaisin cream and spanking, but I really want to properly get on my knees and ask for punishment, partly to set forth in my mind what this means and how very much I want to show my repentance and how sorry I am. ¬†I want to show him tears of sorrow for my behavior. ¬†I want to feel the submissiveness that I also know He wants me to feel.


Capsaicin Cream? Who knew?

I have not been as submissive as I could have been these past couple of days.  Yesterday, in fact, I was horrible.  I was bratty and rude.  I threw a box of trash bags and yelled.  Ugh!  All things that my Master detests.  In fact, then the rest of the day went horribly, resulting in me going to bed early and my Master remaining angry at me.

Although I still don’t feel that I have paid for yesterday completely yet, my Master tried something new in the way of punishment. ¬†After swatting me several times on my bare bottom, he commanded me to take the capsaicin cream and rub a quarter-size dollop into each butt cheek. ¬†Then we went shopping. ¬†At first I felt nothing. ¬†After about 15 minutes of sitting in the car, my butt started to heat up and feel a little uncomfortable. ¬†After about 30 minutes, it was becoming unbearable to sit flat on my butt for any length of time! ¬†UGH! ¬†We went to one store and then we went out to eat. ¬†At dinner, I could not be comfortable. ¬†I excused myself twice to go to the bathroom, just so I didn’t have to sit. ¬†The second time I even got a paper towel, wet it, went into a bathroom stall and tried to wipe my butt cheeks, hoping to remove some of the cream. ¬†That actually seemed to make it worse. ¬†I tried so hard to bear it, knowing that I really deserved it. ¬†I kept adjusting my butt and finally, I could take it no more and had to go to the car, claiming that I didn’t feel good. ¬†At least the walk to the car was relief and in the car I could sit on my folded leg which helped to alleviate the pressure on my butt. ¬†Finally, my Master appeared and we headed home. ¬†My Master told me to get in the shower and wash the cream off, carefully so as not to get it on any other delicate parts, including eyes! ¬†I did as told and FINALLY felt relief! ¬†ahhhhhhhhh…… ¬†(Of course not before he swatted me as I was walking to the shower…..OW!!!)

How much do you REALLY know about BDSM?

Here is a quiz for you? ¬†How much of this quiz are you familiar with? ¬†Oooo….I only scored 68%. ¬†You can retake the test and different questions may appear. ¬†I scored 80% the second time. ¬†Of course that was because there were some different questions and I “learned” what some things were because it is self-correcting. ¬†How about you? ¬†Care to share your score?

Thank-you, Mike!