In the context of our BDSM relationship, we have defined TORTURE as something that is for fun or purely arousal. In fact the definition of torture is the action or practice of inflicting severe pain on someone as a punishment or to force them to do or say something, or for the pleasure (in SM, this may be sexual pleasure) of the person inflicting the pain. I may be spanked purely as torture or I may be spanked as PUNISHMENT which is not fun and is a result of atonement for wrong doing. The definition of punishment is the infliction or imposition of a penalty as retribution for an offense.
Why is this important? In our relationship, it is very important to differentiate the two. I sometimes want to ASK for either TORTURE or PUNISHMENT. If I have been bratty and then proceed to ask for my Master to TORTURE me, (As in I’m horny and wish to be spanked, because it is a turn-on for me.), then my Master not only will NOT want to give me any pleasure at all, but also this will anger him because I have not properly yet paid for my offense(s). On the other hand, if I am feeling the need to really want to pay for my crimes and I want him to give me punishment in order to show how very sorry I am and want to feel that I have atoned, then he will be happy with my request.
This was our discussion today and I feel so happy to have this clarification. I feel so much better and I can’t wait for tonight after the movie time so that I can get on my knees and ask for further punishment. I do feel like He punished me some today with the capcaisin cream and spanking, but I really want to properly get on my knees and ask for punishment, partly to set forth in my mind what this means and how very much I want to show my repentance and how sorry I am. I want to show him tears of sorrow for my behavior. I want to feel the submissiveness that I also know He wants me to feel.