Pain not Pleasure or Pleasure not Pain or Both Pain And Pleasure

My parents spanked me and my sisters for punishment.  It was never sexual in any way whatsoever.  One time, however, when I was 13 or so, I remember that my mother spanked me.  It was very rare that she would have spanked me at this age.  I believe that all of us, me and my siblings, were getting swatted for some reason.  She always just swatted us on the behind with a wooden spoon, over clothing.  But THIS time, after about the 3rd swat, I felt really weird. I think I was actually feeling a twinge of “turned on”.  I turned to my mother and told her to stop and I told her that she would have to punish me in other ways because I was too old to be spanked.  My mother was surprised, but never spanked me again.

When I was an adult just embarking upon kinky sex, I knew that for some reason I was totally intrigued and turned on by spankings.  I would search the internet for spanking pics, stories, and videos.  I remember, as a youngster, reading a porn magazine that belonged to my father.  It was a Pent House magazine and there was a story in there about this woman who had gone clothes shopping with either her sisters or friends.  Upon returning, her husband was very mad at her for having purchased all this clothing.  As I remember the story, he decided he wanted her to try on and show him all the clothing that she bought.  She and the other girls with her were made to model all the clothing that they bought and then they were all spanked  as punishment.  I was very turned on at a young teenager at reading this story.  I also remember, much later into adulthood, in particular, watching this video (obviously a common porn story scenario, but I didn’t know that, having watched virtually zero porn up to this point), where a young woman was ushered into an office where she was being “interviewed” for something.  The guy told her to get up on the table and he said something like, “Let’s see how much you can take.”   The girl got up on the desk and spread her legs and the guy proceeded to lightly flog her pussy.  Okay, it really, really turned me on.  I watched the video and then spread my legs and gently smacked my pussy a few times, rubbing my clit until I came!

So, when I first met my Master, I knew that I liked to be spanked.  But that was all there was to tell at that time.  My views changed with my experience.  At times, when my Master would spank me, I would get really turned on and want him to spank harder – especially if he built up slowly.  Then he began to use other implements on me besides his hand – a wooden spoon, a belt, a small flogger, a plastic hanger.  I began to find that after a little bit of pain, I would suddenly be more sensitive everywhere in my body and then want a little more to increase that sensitivity.

I also wanted my pussy spanked.  Not really directly on my clit, because I have an extremely sensitive clit – dammit.  Not enough to make me cum fast, but more than enough to turn a light smack in the wrong place (or right place) into enormous pain.  But, I began to learn that spanking or smacking my pussy lips and inner thighs and ESPECIALLY right over my vagina made me very turned on and in turn made me want to cum, badly.

I have found other pain to also be a turn on to me – face slapping, nipple pinching and breast slapping.  For me it seems to be not only the pain factor or build up of pain factor that begins to cause me pleasure, but also the submissive factor.

I don’t know how I began to want more pain.  I know that when I first became sub to my Master, I remember telling him that I didn’t want to receive marks on me at all and I only wanted slight pain.  The first time that I had marks, I was thrilled.  I had asked for marks because it was going to be awhile before I was going to see my Master again, as this was before we married, and I wanted marks to remind me of Him.  I think  the marks reminded me of the pain and the pain took the pleasure meter way up.  I also remember one of the first times that I was spanked by my Master in a very slow, methodical way.  It was very slow and very easy, but for a long period of time before increasing.  I remember as the smacks became harder, I really think I started to zone a bit.  And I really hardly felt the smacks, all of a sudden.  It startled me and I quickly came out of the zone.  But I remember thinking….Oh, WOW!  I wonder if this is what I’ve heard about…the sub space?  Anyway, I haven’t experienced that again, but I have learned to tolerate more and more pain with the wonderful prize of becoming more excited and turned on.  YAY!

Does this mean that I ALWAYS feel pain and then get turned on?  UH…NO!  There is a difference between pain for punishment and pain for torture.  Read previous post on this subject.  

When I feel vulnerable, then I feel more turned on – simply put.  Being spanked makes me feel vulnerable.  Feeling pain makes me feel vulnerable. Feeling humiliated or treated as more of an object or a little girl or someone who needs taken care of.   And this, in turn, makes me feel more turned on and more excited.  Thus I want more and more.   I also know that when my Master smacks me, or humiliates me, He gets hard.  THAT is the best of all!


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  1. Interesting what happened when you were 13. I was also spanked by my father, but never had any sexual feelings about it. I resented being spanked and today I really love it! And marks… oh do not even get me started on those 🙂

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts 🙂

    Rebel xox

    PS: If you go back to your dashboard and edit this post, you can cut the code for the button from the visual tab and paste it at the bottom of the text tab, then you will see the button of Wicked Wednesday. You can also copy the image of the button from the Wicked Wednesday site and then link it back to Wicked Wednesday. Let me know if you need help 🙂

  2. i recognised much of myself here, i would never have expected to end up enjoying pain as much as i do, and i am sure it is because it pleases my Master, thank you for this thoughtful piece.
    Oh and yeah…the idea i have to have pain to come, erm definate no 😀

  3. This>>> “I also know that when my Master smacks me, or humiliates me, He gets hard. THAT is the best of all!”

    I love the way it feels but afterwards when I reach out and feel how hard his cock is… then all I want is to turn over and take more, have more, be more. I love the cycle of desire that builds between us during these moments


  4. i wasnt spanked much as a child but quite like it now; it had been fantasy of mine for years but my early teenage exposure to erotica and sex stories featured BDSM heavily so I wonder if that has anything to do with it?

  5. Pingback: Pain in BDSM | Sweet Servitude of Master's Treasure

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