Day 9 – Do you accept and/or expect structure, rules and limits as a part of your submission? How do you feel about them?
I do accept and expect structure, rules and limits. I want them. If I want to serve my Master and this makes him happy, then I want to know what it is that I need to do. It really makes things a lot easier when you can know what will make your significant other happy. And I’m the type of person that likes structure anyway. I like rules and lists and I like very specific directions. This helps me know that I am doing things correctly. So, in my relationship I can feel that I am doing the things that are guaranteed to make him happy and proud of me – basically, PLEASED with me.
My rules and chores tend to ebb and flow. Sometimes my Master is more strict than others and we often come together to rewrite the rules. By this, I mean HE rewrites the rules. He does this based on our circumstances – such as who is living with us at the time, how much discretion is needed, health limitations, times of the year, after moves, or just after we have digressed from our BDSM life due to, well, due to life!
My Master has actually just recently come up with a new short list for me. It consists of the following:
1. Physical Appearance – I must do everything possible to make myself as pleasing to him as I can. To me this means dressing as nicely or sexily as is reasonable for the current activities. Making sure I am shaved, clean and make-up on. I also need to lose weight, so this would mean watching my weight also.
2. Blogging everyday.
3. Whenever my Master gives me an instruction, I am to do first and then if I feel the need, I may ask if I may say or ask something. This is VERY hard for me because I want to say, but…because I feel that he may lack some information that I need to tell him. Even if it is seemingly impossible for me to do, I must make some effort to look as though I am beginning to follow the direction. (For example, start to get up and head the correct direction before asking if I may say something.)
4. Inspections – This is a naked inspection wherein my Master will look at my body. I guess to see if I am reasonable shaved, etc.
This is all that he has given me, though there are a few unspoken rules – I always make him fresh coffee espresso and serve him in bed – each morning and after naps. Also, I ask permission for almost everything. I am also never to raise my voice to him.
I do feel, at times, that the chores are almost pointless. I may not see a reward or a compliment or a punishment at times when I don’t perform correctly. And this discourages me and makes me think, Why should I? Of course I already know the answer and so I try very hard not to think that way and to continue what he wants me to do.