Day 12 – Do you include financial submission within the definition of your own submission and if yes, how does it manifest itself? If no, is there a particular reason why? Are you familiar with the concepts of financial submission? Do you have an opinion about financial submission in general?
Yes, I do include financial submission as part of my submission to my Master.
How does it manifest itself? First, he takes care of ALL financial matters. My paycheck is autodeposited into our joint account and he writes all the bills. Furthermore, he does ALL the shopping. Occasionally, I will go shopping, too, to keep him company or if there is something in particular that I want to shop for. (with his permission, of course). I don’t enjoy shopping unless I have the money to spend on something that I really want. Otherwise, it tends to just stress me. I have a duplicate of the debit card in my possession, but I NEVER purchase anything without his permission. Actually, it is more likely that I let him know that I wish for or need something and then he makes the decision as to whether to buy it or not. In fact, he drives me everywhere that I go and so I’m never in a store without him. More often than not, he buys me what I ask for, but I never ask for anything extravagant. I rarely ever ask for anything that I don’t feel I need. He rarely ever gives me money and if he does, it is just to keep in my purse as emergency. (Usually then given to him for something I feel that I need when it comes to the proverbial “end of the month”.) He also constantly buys me little treats, or even more expensive and cool gadgets and so forth. If we are together, he tries to encourage me to grab a drink or a snack or often has it in the car when he picks me up from work. Yes, he drives me to and from work…but that’s another post!
I don’t really mind too much giving up total financial control, but it has its pros and cons and ups and downs. I was very eager for him to take over the bills when we got married, because I had been married previously and had always done the bills, but it was stressful. I was rarely ever late on bills and really knew how to start getting ahead. It took a lot of trust to give this up, but even moreso to let it go when things aren’t handled like I’d feel like I would do. Even at that, it still is not enough for me to want to go back to doing bills myself. I also used to be very frugal, I felt, in my spending, utilizing sales and coupons and so forth. My Master/husband has a very different way of doing things and though I’m not always happy with the way he does things, I am happy that doing so makes him happy and I don’t have to worry my pretty little head about it! LOL He wants the control, therefore I submit it. I have learned a lot in this journey and have learned many ways to cope with basically, my loss of control. I find that having my needs met, really is the key. If my own needs are met, then I don’t feel the need to want to control things. How do I get my needs met as far as finances go? I try to respectfully tell my Master what I feel my needs are. This is hard because I feel guilty for wanting to express what I want. But, as my Master put it, I am to express my needs and he will decide if and how I shall receive it. That really takes a lot of pressure off of me, if I can align with this thinking. And then I can use my energy to focus on the things that will please him. Win/win!