Day 26 of 30 Days of Submission: Desirable Qualities in a Dom

Day 26 – What are the qualities you seek in a dominant partner and why? Are some qualities deal-breakers as in “must” haves or “must not” have?

I believe a Dominant should really love and care about his submissive. I believe that he should understand that his love and care for his submissive will result in her love and care and submissiveness to him. I believe communications is at the top of the list. If a Dom will talk to his sub, they will learn so much about each other. Reading and discussing blogs can open many doors for discussion, as can blogging itself. I believe that trust is paramount. Whatever she has stated that her hard limits are, he must not pass those. If he really wants her to not have certain hard limits, then he might talk with her about it, but never, never break her trust. If the sub cannot completely trust him to take care of her then she won’t be able to fully submit. I think that a Dom must go slow in introducing her to his ways of Domination. If he goes slowly, then not only will be trained as he sees fit, but also she will fall deeper and deeper into submission. I think if he is successful, then she will want more and more, not less Domination.

Every Dominant will make mistakes. Every Dominant will wish he were a better Dom. But, so also, will every sub wish she were a better sub. No one is perfect, but if a sub has trust in her Dom, and he truly perceives her as a treasure, by making communication a key part of their life, then they can grow together in their relationship.

1 Comment

  1. Oh now that is a wonderful question. There are so many different views out there about this. First I would like to say no view is wrong but rather a personal preference. The catch is finding people who share your view of what makes a good Dom or sub. Not every Dom is what every sub needs and vice versa. The trouble sadly seems to be with inexperience submissive. They do not yet know what type of sub they are or what type of Dom they need. As such they are all too often taken advantage of by people who are not concerned about their needs. It is a horrible thing not simply because a submissive (male or female by the way) shouldn’t suffer a bad experience, but because it can disrupt their development and cause serious problems. I would have to agree with MY pet however and say that though their are few traits all Doms MUST share the ability to communicate is certainly the most important.

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