Day 29 – Is pain or humiliation (spankings for example) a part of your submission? What is your relationship to it? Do you embrace it as a part of your submission, tolerate it as necessary or have some other type of relationship with it?
Most definitely. I found myself to be turned on by spanking before I ever knew what BDSM or submission was. That aspect of myself is what actually was the link to finding myself submissive. As I began to explore the net and search out spanking, I began to come across BDSM and that, in turn, led to the realization that I was submissive and began to explore BDSM.
I enjoy a certain amount of pain and humiliation because it makes me feel more submissive which makes me more turned on which makes me want more pain and humiliation. Plus, I really want to please my Master and when i see that he enjoys administering pain and humiliation, then it turns me on and makes me feel more submissive and thus more turned and so on and so on.
I don’t enjoy punishment which I find different than torture. Torture is for turn on for either or both a Dom/sub, while punishment is administered to sub by Dom due to infraction and isn’t meant to be a turn-on. I do not enjoy punishment at all. First, the fact that my Master is not happy with me makes me pretty upset and so I’m not turned on at all. Plus, he administers punishment more quickly and harshly than the slow build up of torture.
I do totally embrace the pain and humiliation that is part of my submission to my Master.