I am yearning for more structure, more rules, more micromanaging, more discipline, more tasks. The problem is a common one for me. The problem is this:
My Master will up the ante when I request this, which is often. He will give me more rules and tasks. I try to follow and usually do pretty good for a day or two and then I begin to slack. I give excuses or he actually gives me excuse not to do things. Occasionally, he will punish me for not keeping up, but not usually. And things go back to normal, pretty much, slackness. After a while, I might say to my Master that he is not making me do these things and then he responds with the very true fact that I am not obeying. He is so sweet and forgiving. I don’t want him to be mean to me, not really. But, I feel I have no self-discipline. And that makes me not feel good about myself. Sigh. After a time,……..repeat.
What can I do about this?