Force Me!

I am yearning for more structure, more rules, more micromanaging, more discipline, more tasks.  The problem is a common one for me.  The problem is this:

My Master will up the ante when I request this, which is often.  He will give me more rules and tasks.  I try to follow and usually do pretty good for a day or two and then I begin to slack.  I give excuses or he actually gives me excuse not to do things.  Occasionally, he will punish me for not keeping up, but not usually.  And things go back to normal, pretty much, slackness.  After a while, I might say to my Master that he is not making me do these things and then he responds with the very true fact that I am not obeying.  He is so sweet and forgiving.  I don’t want him to be mean to me, not really.  But, I feel I have no self-discipline.  And that makes me not feel good about myself.  Sigh.  After a time,……..repeat.

What can I do about this?

2 Comments

  1. I think for me when I request more structure I am really wanting more security. More safety. There are times I ask Sir to break me and put me back together. I end up at his feet surrendered. Only wanting to please, clinging to his leg, overwhelmed with love. As his property I have to be responsible for my own actions. I have to want to do what pleases him. I think of him in all I do. Folding clothes with cheerful spirit-afterall they are his. I can show my love by doing these things and he says good girl. When I struggle I ask for a reset. I have little self discipline for drinking water. Like you I ask why? I found I need to commit to myself and believe that I must drink. Sir can’t force me. Hugs

    • I don’t think I am wanting more security or safety, but perhaps I really am wanting that feeling that comes from a new refreshed feeling of security and safety. What does breaking you and putting you back together for you and he? I’m assuming maybe a spanking or whipping until you are crying and sobbing? Perhaps I need that to have a renewed commitment to following his wishes at times. Usually, after a “put me in my place” session, which may involve spanking, whipping, humiliation, etc…, but has to have me sobbing, really. I tend to feel very, very submissive, very small. I very much want to please and serve.

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