Struggling with intimacy

Wow. I can’t even begin to tell you how much this post resonates with me. I almost feel like I wrote it. My thinking and reaction would have/ is the same. Yelling out, “red, I’m done”? I had to chuckle because it sounded just like me! And then, I, too, would have dissolved into tears. Communication is the key, yes, but it is hard. It is full of complicated and conflicting emotions. Sigh..can so relate.


Some of our biggest struggles as a couple are with sexual intimacy. Our drives are different. Our emotional need for it is different.

I battle thoughts that I do not hold any allure for him when sexy time is limited. I wonder if I am even attractive in any sexual way. Eventually, if it goes on for weeks, I begin to think that I am unlovable and undesirable. I head down a dark rabbit hole of negative self-talk. It isn’t pretty.

I’ve been trying not to pressure him with requests for sexual interaction. He gives me so much in terms of leadership, dominance, and impact maintence. I feel guilty for wanting intercourse, or orgasms, or sexual play every week on top of all he does for us. I hate to make him feel worse.

But to be brutally honest, most of all, I hate to ask for something that I…

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