I’ve been away for some time. The reasons? Well, several. First, I’ve been afraid to express some of my feelings to the world for fear that my Master/Dom would not be happy or be offended etc… This is, of course, because he reads all my blog posts. He was not happy with a blog post that I posted and it just kind of turned me off of blogging. Since then, however, he has remedied this problem by simply asking him to approve the post, first. Easy enough. Then again, however, there has been issues between us. Issues that I’m not sure that he is comfortable sharing with the world. We will see. Rather than just saying, oh, well, no blogging. I have decided to jump in and go with it. If he doesn’t like what I want to post, then I will know, since he has to approve beforehand. And, I feel that I need to express myself. I do have a private blog that I share my feelings on, but not to the world. But I want feedback. I want to connect. It is so hard to connect when you are into BDSM. Another issue that I had was that my blog was attached to my fetlife account. Fetlife sucks most of the time. So, I decided to disconnect from the website. Why? Well, I might want to share something that happened on fetlife and so I don’t want to be targeted, you know? So, I’m back to blogging and eager to get back into some online friendships. Sometimes, being different is lonely, you know?
My Master says that someone he met online is in town and may want to hookup.
Where’s my wine!? Ahhhhh ok. Better now.
Not feeling very good about my body lately. Sigh. I promise. My body is a summer project.
I’m not that much overweight, but I really need to lose 20 pounds.
It’s also scary to hookup with someone my Master desires to fuck because duh…jealousy. Yes it can also be exciting. But THAT determination is unknown yet.
I’ll keep y’all updated.
I haven’t blogged in a long while. Not much that I feel like putting out there. But, I think that I will put more thought into putting some of my thoughts out there.
My Master has completed his Christmas shopping and has ordered some VERY exciting toys. I’m happy, excited, nervous, about them all!!!! Waiting for the packages to arrive….
I want for my Master to desire me more than anything else.
I want to be made to do things or try things that I haven’t before, and may be somewhat scared or embarrassed to do so.
I want to be dominated in public more – perhaps just given simple commands such as “come here”, or hmmmm what else? This one would be easier if I was somewhere that no one knew me, but maybe told to do some humiliating things, like kneeling down on the ground. Or revealing my boobs. Or being pinched in the nipple in front of others.
I want more physical punishment and torture. What kinds? Spankings that leave marks, nipple and breast torture, pussy torture, fucked more in the ass.
I think I would like to be tied more and then punished so that I couldn’t escape.
Fucked hard with various objects. I wonder if that would please my Master?
Being talked to kind of hateful, but not in a I hate you sort of way. No, more of a you fucking slut. You are not listening to me. Down on your knees. Take your fucking punishment! I would know that my Master cares for me, but this kind of talk is a turn on for me because I feel humiliated and very sub and full of submission.
Being naked and having to lay on a dirty floor. I’m a little ocd, so anything dirty makes me feel, well, dirty. And that makes me feel small and very much like submitting.
I would like to be made to submit to others under my Master’s direction.
I want to feel more subness and I want to please my Master and be a part of whatever makes his cock hard.
I wonder what else that might make my Master’s cock hard?
Submission for me, feels more like submission if I’m submitting to my Master’s desires, even if I’m not sure if I really want to submit to a particular thing, but knowing it will please him to have me to it. ❤️
Describe who you might reveal your Little side to and how. Do you allow your Little side to emerge only in the context of a scene or in a role or throughout your daily life? Do you reveal your Little side to play partners, family, friends or only in the context of a relationship?
This is a tricky question. Do I have a “little side”? Perhaps I’m not understanding the exact definition of little? Perhaps I’m not little at all? Wow. This question has me pondering. I do feel that I am way more submissive to C when not in front of some people, such as my family, but it’s not that I’m acting like a little girl as much as someone who really needs direction, praise, and so forth. Not sure at all what to think.
Head is totally congested and glands swollen, head hurts, eyes hurt, throat hurts. Sometimes feeling sick is a good thing. Not feeling horny at all, which actually is rare, is a good thing right now, sadly.
Does your submission – either what you practice or what you strive for – have a label? Do you view your submission as Taken in Hand, domestic discipline, top/bottom, dominant/submissive, master/slave, owner/pet, or some other description or combination? If you do not use a label, why?
I’ve struggled with this a bit lately. I like to address my guy as my Master or Sir. He likes me to refer to him as Daddy sometimes. It took me awhile to realize the difference between slave and submissive. I used to think that a slave was a submissive that was just intense about his/her submission to one person in particular, her Master. But the way I now understand it is different. ???
At first, my Master referred to me as his pet, but I did not think of myself in the manner of a pet as in a dog or cat, per se, but more of pet as in a pet name like darling or something.
Recently, my Master said that he had been deciding that I more fit the category of a little?? In reading some things about a little, I totally see myself. I like to be taken care of and cuddled. But on the other hand, I don’t particularly care about dressing I pigtails and I’m not into coloring in a coloring book in my spare time. ( not that I would be against that, but I have no spare time! Lol) I prefer to crochet or brush my dog. Haha.
So honestly, I have no idea where I fit. Perhaps I don’t. 😦
I think of myself as truly submissive to my Master. I like calling him Sir as in Yes Sir. But then again, he has never asked me or told me to say anything different.
So my final answer is…..
I don’t know.