On the Road Blog Again

I’ve been away for some time. The reasons? Well, several. First, I’ve been afraid to express some of my feelings to the world for fear that my Master/Dom would not be happy or be offended etc… This is, of course, because he reads all my blog posts. He was not happy with a blog post that I posted and it just kind of turned me off of blogging. Since then, however, he has remedied this problem by simply asking him to approve the post, first. Easy enough. Then again, however, there has been issues between us. Issues that I’m not sure that he is comfortable sharing with the world. We will see. Rather than just saying, oh, well, no blogging. I have decided to jump in and go with it. If he doesn’t like what I want to post, then I will know, since he has to approve beforehand. And, I feel that I need to express myself. I do have a private blog that I share my feelings on, but not to the world. But I want feedback. I want to connect. It is so hard to connect when you are into BDSM. Another issue that I had was that my blog was attached to my fetlife account. Fetlife sucks most of the time. So, I decided to disconnect from the website. Why? Well, I might want to share something that happened on fetlife and so I don’t want to be targeted, you know? So, I’m back to blogging and eager to get back into some online friendships. Sometimes, being different is lonely, you know?

A hookup this weekend?

My Master says that someone he met online is in town and may want to hookup. 

…..anxiety…….

Where’s my wine!? Ahhhhh ok. Better now.

Not feeling very good about my body lately. Sigh. I promise. My body is a summer project. 

I’m not that much overweight, but I really need to lose 20 pounds. 

It’s also scary to hookup with someone my Master desires to fuck because duh…jealousy. Yes it can also be exciting. But THAT determination is unknown yet. 

I’ll keep y’all updated.

A Little’s Story

“She came home from her busy workday, smiled and hugged her Master.  It was so good to be home. He immediately puts her collar on.  He tells her to go to the bedroom and look on the bed.  Laying on the bed, is an outfit that looks like a little girl’s outfit, but is actually her size.  It consists of a simple short a-line dress, pretty pink frilly panties (where did he get those, she wonders), frilly white socks with lace and flat marydoll shoes, and a little bear holding a blanket, and a big soft fluffy blankie.  And a note, telling her to put her hair in pigtails, and put make-up on, being ready by 7pm.  And on the bedside table is a glass of her favorite wine and a pacifier.  Mmmmmmm.  Okay.  This is going to be interesting.  She feels the worries of the day starting to melt away as she prepares herself.  She puts her hair into two long pigtails, curling each side, so as to have bouncy curls.  She puts on make-up and some blush on her cheeks, so that she looks more childlike and red lipstick on her lips.  She sips that wine as she looks at the blankie and pacifier.  She sees that her Master wants her to feel vulnerable and she really wants to feel that way, too.  So, she pops the pacifier in her mouth, hugs the blankie to her cheek and takes a selfie, sending it to her Master at 6:45, early, believe it or not!  He comes into the bedroom and kisses her forehead and tells her that she is a good girl.  He wants to check her new panties and tells her to pull her dress up and turn around.  She does and then he wants to make sure that she is shaved properly, so he tells her to pull her panties down all the way to her ankles, and hold her dress up, so Daddy can check.  She has become the ultimate babygirl now, and he is THE Daddy.  Her Daddy.  And she wants to please him above all in the whole wide world.  And she is determined to do, just that.  After he examines her and her pussy and her ass, he tells her to pull her pants up and that they are going to have company in a little while and she MUST be a good girl.  She must remember to call him Daddy the rest of the evening and not forget, OR ELSE!!! She MUST not disappoint her Daddy.  So, she must please the company and also her Daddy.  Of course she will!  Soon, the company arrives.  He is tall, and a bit overweight, okay, not just a bit overweight, but actually pudgy, and a bit pasty looking.  He is balding, but not shaved.  (He would look better, if he shaved his head.)  He is definitely not as good looking as my Master, but nevertheless, I must please him as well as my Master.  So, Daddy tells his little girl to bring them drinks and not to spill.  She does, and without spilling, and so she is so proud.  Porn is playing on the tv and she must sit between them, he says.  He puts his arm around her and makes her feel safe.  The company rubs her knee, and then her thigh.  The company says he would like to inspect this little girl and so a repeat performance of spinning and showing panties and pussy is performed.    My Master asks her if she would like to kiss Daddy’s big cock and, of course, her answer is Yes, Daddy!   Daddy then pulls out his semi-hard cock and after she pops the pacifier out of her mouth temporarily, she kisses it tenderly. She is such a good girl.  Then he instructs her to kiss the company’s cock.  It is not impressive, but she MUST.  She kisses it as told and then Daddy tells her to sit back on the couch between them.  As she sucks her pacifier, which is similar to having a gag in her mouth, but more comforting, Daddy plays with her pussy, while the company plays with her boobs.  She moans here and there, but has to keep the binky in her mouth and so all her moans are muffled.  Then they switch and Daddy plays with her boobs and squeezes her neck, while the company plays with her pussy.  Then Daddy plucks out the binky and forces her down on his, now hard cock, pushing her head down hard, while she gags and struggles to suck him.  Over and over, up and down, holding her down here and there and then letting her up to breathe.  All the while, the company is fingering her and then fucking her from behind.  Oh, my.  She is not sure she can take it all like this.  But she can.  She is a good girl.  Suddenly, her Master starts fucking her mouth harder and harder as he sprays his cum down her throat and she swallows and swallows her Daddy’s delicious cum.  At the same time, the company can no longer hold back and fucks her and moans his pleasure into this good little girl.  They all relax on the couch, the company naked, and Daddy, too, all are spent, but also fulfilled.  Yes, she is a good little girl, she thinks as she sucks her binky, and leans on her Daddy, hugging her blankie. 

 

The company soon leaves and a disheveled little girl is getting sleepy, but Daddy wants more.  Go to the bathroom, he says, and stand in the tub.  She does as she is told because she is a good little girl.  Baby girl, he says, you were a good little girl, but now I need to see you humiliated.  Do you understand?  Yes, Daddy.  Because she will always strive to please him.  Now, I love you, but you need to lose some weight.  I know its hard, but you must try harder. You must start losing a pound a week or you will be punished.  And when you have lost 5 pounds, then Daddy will take you to buy a new dress.  (That is another story.  😉  Now, Daddy wants to see you pee your pants.  RIGHT NOW!!!  She is mortified.  She knows she must lose weight, but to actually address it.  And now he wants her to pee her beautiful frilly panties?  But, now, she is not being a good girl at all, because she is questioning him.  She sucks on her paci and tears start to form in her eyes.  She lets go and pees her new panties.  Even her frilly socks are getting peed on and part of her dress.  She is not crying, though, because she is wide eyed with what she has just done.  He says, You have peed your panties.  What do you say?  She pops the paci out of her mouth and says she is so sorry, sorry for peeing her new panties, and sorry for fat little tummy.  He orders her to undress.  She puts the paci back in her mouth and obeys and then he whips her.  Yes, he leaves marks on her breasts and her buttocks and her fat little tummy.  Bad, bad girl.  She cries, but whether from humiliation or from the pain, she does not know.  It doesn’t matter, really.  But, she will be better.  She will be better next time.  Daddy tells her to bathe and then get into her fuzzy pink pajamas.  She does as he demands and after she is all clean, she goes to the bedroom and finds him on the bed.  She cuddles up to him.  He holds her and says, You are a very good little girl and you have pleased me tonight.  And then they fall asleep.”

Blogging

I haven’t blogged in a long while. Not much that I feel like putting out there. But, I think that I will put more thought into putting some of my thoughts out there.

Oh, my!

My Master has completed his Christmas shopping and has ordered some VERY exciting toys. I’m happy, excited, nervous, about them all!!!! Waiting for the packages to arrive….

I want….

I want for my Master to desire me more than anything else.

I want to be made to do things or try things that I haven’t before, and may be somewhat scared or embarrassed to do so. 

I want to be dominated in public more – perhaps just given simple commands such as “come here”, or hmmmm what else?  This one would be easier if I was somewhere that no one knew me, but maybe told to do some humiliating things, like kneeling down on the ground. Or revealing my boobs. Or being pinched in the nipple in front of others. 

I want more physical punishment and torture. What kinds? Spankings that leave marks, nipple and breast torture, pussy torture, fucked more in the ass. 

I think I would like to be tied more and then punished so that I couldn’t escape. 

Fucked hard with various objects. I wonder if that would please my Master?

Being talked to kind of hateful, but not in a I hate you sort of way. No, more of a you fucking slut. You are not listening to me. Down on your knees. Take your fucking punishment!  I would know that my Master cares for me, but this kind of talk is a turn on for me because I feel humiliated and very sub and full of submission. 

Being naked and having to lay on a dirty floor. I’m a little ocd, so anything dirty makes me feel, well, dirty. And that makes me feel small and very much like submitting.

I would like to be made to submit to others under my Master’s direction.

I want to feel more subness and I want to please my Master and be a part of whatever makes his cock hard.

I wonder what else that might make my Master’s cock hard? 

Submission

Submission for me, feels more like submission if I’m submitting to my Master’s desires, even if I’m not sure if I really want to submit to a particular thing, but knowing it will please him to have me to it. ❤️

30 Days of Submission: Being Little: Day 2

Describe who you might reveal your Little side to and how. Do you allow your Little side to emerge only in the context of a scene or in a role or throughout your daily life? Do you reveal your Little side to play partners, family, friends or only in the context of a relationship?

This is a tricky question. Do I have a “little side”? Perhaps I’m not understanding the exact definition of little? Perhaps I’m not little at all? Wow. This question has me pondering. I do feel that I am way more submissive to C when not in front of some people, such as my family, but it’s not that I’m acting like a little girl as much as someone who really needs direction, praise, and so forth. Not sure at all what to think. 

Feeling sick

Head is totally congested and glands swollen, head hurts, eyes hurt, throat hurts. Sometimes feeling sick is a good thing. Not feeling horny at all, which actually is rare, is a good thing right now, sadly.

Day 1: Being Little

Does your submission – either what you practice or what you strive for – have a label? Do you view your submission as Taken in Hand, domestic discipline, top/bottom, dominant/submissive, master/slave, owner/pet, or some other description or combination? If you do not use a label, why?

I’ve struggled with this a bit lately. I like to address my guy as my Master or Sir. He likes me to refer to him as Daddy sometimes. It took me awhile to realize the difference between slave and submissive. I used to think that a slave was a submissive that was just intense about his/her submission to one person in particular, her Master.  But the way I now understand it is different. ??? 

At first, my Master referred to me as his pet, but I did not think of myself in the manner of a pet as in a dog or cat, per se, but more of pet as in a pet name like darling or something. 

Recently, my Master said that he had been deciding that I more fit the category of a little?? In reading some things about a little, I totally see myself. I like to be taken care of and cuddled. But on the other hand, I don’t particularly care about dressing I pigtails and I’m not into coloring in a coloring book in my spare time. ( not that I would be against that, but I have no spare time! Lol) I prefer to crochet or brush my dog. Haha. 

So honestly, I have no idea where I fit. Perhaps I don’t.  😦

I think of myself as truly submissive to my Master. I like calling him Sir as in Yes Sir. But then again, he has never asked me or told me to say anything different. 

So my final answer is…..

I don’t know.