30 Days of Kink (Second Time Around): Day 2: List your kinks

Back in 2011, I wrote my kinks as 24/7 (Total Power Exchange), Anal Sex, analsex,Asphyxiaphilia (Breath Play),Biting, Blindfold,Blindfolds,Bondage,Branding (Permanent marks),Breast/Nipple Torture, Candle Wax, Clamps,Collar and Lead/Leash,Confinement/Caging,Depilation/Shaving, Dildo, Dildos (Handheld & Strap-ons),Discipline, etc.,Exhibitionism/Sex In Public, Fire Play, Hair Pulling,Handcuffs/Shackles,Humiliation,Master/slave,Master/slave (BDSM), Mutual Masturbation,Nipples, Oral Sex, Pain,Pantyhose/Stockings, Piercings,Pinching, Power Exchange, Role Playing, Sadism,Sexuality,Spanking/Paddling, Talking Dirty, The Rack/Medieval Devices,Urolagnia,Urolagnia (Water Sports/Urine),Voyeurism

I decided this time (2015), that I wanted to elaborate more on the list.  Because some of the things that I have listed, I actually have never experienced, but think I would like to.  I found a checklist on a site called, Kink Talk.  Chloe posted a list for others to use.  http://www.kinktalk.com/talk/showthread.php?t=542   TY Chloe.

The Almost Perfect Male Dom/Female Sub Checklist!

Limit: means that the activity is a hard limit and that the sub will NEVER do that activity under any circumstances ever.
Soft limit: means that the sub has great reticence towards that activity. Those can be due to either a VERY strong dislike, fear or disdain for that activity in general but that it is not impossible to negotiate them under some special circumstances.
Dislike: means that the sub doesn’t like the activity but would not object if ordered to.
Hmm…: means that the sub has no (or very little) experience with the activity and that she is not really curious about it either.
Curious: means that the sub has no (or very little) experience with the activity but that she finds the idea interesting.
Desire: means that the sub has little or no experience with the activity but greatly wants to try it.
Okay: means that the sub has no problem with the activity but it has no special appeal to her.
Like: means that the sub likes the activity at least on an occasional basis.
Love: means that the activity figures among the sub’s favorites.
I need to add, here, that I put down love on things that I know my Master loves, even if I don’t love the activity, I love what it does – either turning him on, or me, unwillingly being turned on. 
Abrasion: desire
Aftercare: love
Age play: likes
Anal beads: curious
Anal sex: love
Appearance modification: curious
Armbinders: curious
Armpit sex: okay
Ass cheek sex: love
Ass worship: like
Bare bottom spanking: love
Bare-handed spanking: love
Bastinado: limit
Bathroom use control: desire
Begging: love
Behavior modification: love
Belt spanking: love
Ben Wa balls: curious
Bestiality: limit
Beating (soft): love
Beating (hard): curious
Biting: love
Blackmail (play): curious
Blindfolds: love
Blow job: love
Body paint: curious
Body worship: curious
Bondage (light): love
Bondage (heavy): curious
Bondage (public, under clothes): curious
Boot blacking: curious
Boot worship: curious
Boss/secretary roleplay: curious
Branding (temporary): curious
Branding (permanent): curious
Breast bondage: curious
Breast fucking: love
Breast play/torture: love
Breast spanking: love
Breath play: love
Brother/sister roleplay: okay
Bruises: love
Butt plugs (small): love
Butt plugs (large): curious
Butt plugs (public, under clothes): curious
Cages: curious
Caning: curious
Catheterization: soft limit
Cattle prod: curious
Chains: curious
Chakra energy play:curious
Chamber-pot use: okay
Chastity belt: okay
Chauffeuring: okay
Chemical play: curious
Cigarette torture: okay
Clit torture: curious
Closet (locked inside of): curious
Clothespins: love
Cock worship: love
Collars (worn in private): love
Collars (worn in public): curious
Consensual non-consent: love
Contracts: okay
Corner time: love
Corsets: curious
Crawling: love
Creampie: okay
Cross-dressing: okay
Cuddling: love
Cunnilingus: love
Cutting: curious
Daddy/daughter roleplay: love
Deep throating: curious
Degradation: love
Denim/Jeans clothing: love
Diapers (wearing): limit
Diapers (wetting): limit
Diapers (soiling): limit
Dilation (anal): okay
Dilation (vaginal): okay
Dildos (penetration): love
Dildos (sucking on): okay
Discipline: love
Doctor/nurse roleplay: curious
Domestic service: love
Double penetration (oral/anal): curious
Double penetration (oral/vaginal): curious
Double penetration (vaginal/anal): curious
Douching: curious
Duct tape: curious
Ear plugs: curious
Enemas: curious
Erotic dance: curious
Examinations: curious
Exhibitionism (private):love
Exhibitionism (public): curious
Eye contact restriction: curious
Face farting: limit
Face fucking (forced blow job): love
Face slapping: love
Fantasy abandonment: soft limit
Fantasy rape: curious
Fear (being scared): love
Figging: curious
Fingering: love
Fire play: love
Fisting (anal):limit
Fisting (vaginal): limit
Flogging: curious
Food control: love
Food play: okay
Foot worship: okay
Forced bedwetting:okay
Forced exercise: love
Forced homosexuality: love
Forced masturbation: love
Forced nudity (private): love
Forced nudity (around others): love
Forced orgasms: love
Forced smoking: soft limit
Forced weight gain: limit
Forced weight loss: love
Gags (ball): curious
Gags (cloth): curious
Gags (inflatable):curious
Gags (panties): curious
Gags (phallic): curious
Gags (ring): curious
Gags (tape): curious
Gang bang (fantasy):curious
Gang bang (real): curious
Gas masks: soft limit
Genital bondage: curious
Genital sex: love
Given away to another Dom (temporary):curious
Given away to another Dom (permanent): limit
Gun play:limit

Hair bondage: okay
Hairbrush spanking: love
Hair pulling: love
Handcuffs (leather):curious
Handcuffs (metal): curious
Handcuffs (rope): love
Hand job (giving): love
Hand job (receiving): love
Harems (serving with other subs):love
Harnessing (leather): curious
Harnessing (rope): curious
Having clothes chosen for: love
Head harness: okay
High heels (wearing):love
Homework Assignments: love
Hoods: curious
Hot oils (on genitals): curious
Hot wax: love
Humiliation (private): love
Humiliation (public): curious
Hypnotism : curious
Ice cubes : curious
Impregnation (fantasy) :limit
Impregnation (real) : limit
Interrogation : curious
Japanese rope bondage :curious
Kidnapping fantasy : okay
Kissing: love
Kneeling : love
Knife play: love
Lactation: okay
Latex clothing: okay
Leashes: love
Leather clothing: okay
Lectures for misbehavior: love
Lingerie (wearing): love
Manicure (giving): love
Massage (giving): love
Massage (receiving): limit
Medical play: curious
Menstruation sex: okay
Mental bondage: curious
Mind control: curious
Mind fucks: curious
Modeling for erotic photos:love
Mouth bits: soft limit
Mouth soaping: curious
Multiple orgasms: love
Mummification: soft limit
Mutual masturbation: love
Name change (fantasy): love
Name change (legal): love
Needles: curious
Nipple play/torture:love
Nipple weights: love
Nylon clothing: love
Orgasm control: love
Orgasm denial: okay
OTK spanking: love
Outdoor scenes: love
Outdoor sex: love
Paddles (leather):love
Paddles (wood): love
Pantyhose/stockings (wearing):love
Pet play: love
Phone sex (serving Dom): okay
Phone sex (serving other Doms):okay
Phone sex (professionally): okay
Piercings: love
Pinching: love
Plastic surgery:okay
Police/prisoner roleplay: curious
Posture training: curious
Priest/nun roleplay: limit
Prostitution (fantasy): curious
Prostitution (real): soft limit
Punishment (play a.k.a. “funishment”): love
Punishment (real): love
Pussy spanking: love
Pussy/crotch torture: love
Remote control devices: curious
Restraints (ankles): love
Restraints (knees): curious
Restraints combinations (wrists to waist, etc.):love
Restrictive rules on behavior: love
Riding crops: curious
Rimming (giving): love
Rimming (receiving): love
Rituals: love
Rough sex: love
Saran wrapping: soft limit
Scarification: limit
Scat: limit
Scent play (aromas):love
Scratching: soft limit
Serving as furniture: curious
Serving as toilet (urine): soft limit
Serving as toilet (feces): limit
Serving as waitress: love
Serving other Doms (supervised):curious
Serving other Doms (unsupervised): limit
Sexual deprivation (short term): okay
Sexual deprivation (long term): limit
Shaving (body hair): love
Shaving (genitals): love
Shaving (head): soft limit
Skinny-dipping: love
Skirts (wearing): love
Sleep assault: love
Sleep deprivation: limit
Sleepsacks/body bags:curious
Slutty clothing (private): love
Slutty clothing (public): curious
Spandex clothing: okay
Speculums (anal): okay
Speculums (vaginal): okay
Speech restrictions: love
Spitting: okay
Spreader bars: curious
Staples: curious
Straight jackets: curious
Suction cups: curious
Suspension (vertical):curious
Suspension (inverted): curious
Suspension (horizontal): curious
Swallowing (semen): love
Swallowing (urine): okay
Swallowing (feces): limit
Swapping (with another couple):love
Swinging (multiple couples): love
Switching: limit
Tampon training (in ass): limit
Tasting own cum: love
Tattoos: love
Teacher/student roleplay: love
Tears (crying): love
Teasing: love
TENS unit: curious
Threesomes (FFM): love
Threesomes (FMM): love
Thumbcuffs: curious
Tickling: limit
Triple penetration: curious
Urethral fucking: limit
Urethral sounds: limit
Verbal humiliation: love
Vibrators (on genitals): love
Vibrators (penetration): love
Videos (being recorded): love
Violet Wand: curious
Vomitting: soft limit
Voyeurism: curious
Waterbondage: curious
Watersports: love
Water torture: curious
Waxing (hair removal):curious
Wearing body fluids: lovwe
Wearing symbolic jewelry: love
Whipping: love
Wrestling: okay
Zapping (electric fly swatters): curious

I’m anxious to see what my Master thinks about my responses to my list.  And BTW, I’ve gotten hot while going down this list.  pant-pant 😉

30 Days of Kink (Second Time Around): Day 1 – Dominant, submissive, or switch?

DAY 1: YOU… Dominant, submissive or switch? List the parts of BDSM that get your juices flowing, what interests you the most? Basically define your kinky nature.

Three years ago, I said:

For me – I am totally a submissive. Actually 100% according to the latest survey. I totally love being told what to do and the more forcefully told, the more I love it and the wetter it makes me.

Two and one-half years ago, I said:

I am most definitely a sub.  In all areas of my life except….my career, and with my kids, but with my Master, who is also my husband, I am submissive.  I crave it, love it, need it, want it, and it turns me on…I desire it!  I am totally interested in serving my Master as well as being on the receiving end of Domination including pain – ie- spanking, some humiliation, and many other kinks that go with the lifestyle.  We live a 24/7 lifestyle as we can while still living our lives with families and career, etc..

Note: I am no longer a leader with my children. They are all grown and only one lives at home, though he is 21.

And now:

I am definitely a submissive. I am not a leader in most situations, although at work, I am. LOL I’ve heard that this is common among submissives. But even in the work place I have two assistants under me, but many more are higher than me on the totem pole. And, in talking about submissiveness and my own life, if/when we add another, or more submissives to our lives, I will not top them or be over them. I would be at the bottom of the totem pole except in my Master’s eyes, where I am his number 1.

I crave being told what to do. I think I have struggled my whole life with decision making. It has been a major problem in my life. I have gotten better as the years have passed, but I still struggle. I don’t usually struggle with major issues like what I feel is right or wrong, but more minor issues such as what should I buy? I like rules and rituals and I like the part of submissiveness that lets me be taken care of and my serving in return. My Master being stern with me gets me hot unless he is admonishing me. I like some humiliation. I like some pain. Most of all, I love to see my Master pleased, turned on, by me or with my help. 🙂

Day 30: Whatever BDSM/kink related thing you want to write about.

I choose  polyamory relationships.  I never in a million years would have thought I would even want to post about this, but when you are in love with someone, you are curious as to their wants and desires.  My Master has always stated that he would like to have two submissives.  He has stated that I would always be his number one submissive and that a second coming in would be just that – second.  And of course in our instance, it would be a female.  (Thus Master plus two female submissives)  I’m not sure how this would actually work and we have discussed at times how this would work.  Previously, my Master has said that usually a first sub is over a second sub, meaning that the second sub is subservient to the first.  However, in our relationship, I really don’t see how I could be comfortable or even have the ability to boss another sub around.  I mean it doesn’t make sense that I wouldn’t be able to, especially since in my job I do have an assistant and at times have had 2 and even 3 assistants.  But, it seems totally different to me.  When I am with my Master which is the 24/7 that I am not at my job or the gym, I am trying to focus on him (or should be) and I honestly don’t want to boss another around.  Also, I know that as far as sex goes, my Master would prefer to have sex with both subs at the same time?  Though, maybe I am wrong.  He wants to have sex, but not without me, but then again he often jokes that he needs to subs so that one can always be sucking his cock.  okay, whatever…  Anyway, in the sex department, I prefer to be dominated whether by male or female.  And then there is the whole jealousy thing.  …

Day 7: What’s your favorite toy?

My favorite toy…hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Well, I really do love my vibrator, especially after I get really horny and play is coming to a halt, but I still want to cum.  Otherwise I don’t really like the vibrator right off, because I can cum quickly at times with a vibrator.  I like to prolong my desire through nipple clamps and slowly increasing flogging strikes. I also like my mask because it makes me feel so vulnerable.   There is a lot of toys that I haven’t tried yet, so we will have to see??

Thirty Days of Kink – Day 29

Do you have a BDSM title (e.g. mistress, master, slut, pig, whore, princess, goddess, ma’am, sir)?  What is your opinion of the use of titles in general?

My Master calls me lots of things – by my real name, Baby, Little Girl, Good Girl, Slut, Cunt, and his pet or his precious pet.  My favorite is when he calls me his little girl or his good girl or his Baby.  

I like pet names.  I feel special and it can put me in a different frame of mind then the name that everyone else calls me.  

Day 28: How do you dress for kink/BDSM play?  What significance does your attire have to you?

At this point in time, my dress for kink is simply whatever…  My Master likes it when I wear jeans, actually.  But, he also has an attraction for stockings.  a lot.  Unfortunately, I think I have repressed some of that because it is hard to find time to ‘dress up’ when you aren’t really going anywhere special.  Or where it would be acceptable.  My Master used to like to put an actual collar and leash on me and make me crawl around, but he hasn’t done that in a while.

Now, how would I LIKE to dress for kink/BDSM play?  Well, first of all, I desire to dress however my Master desires me to dress.  We have been around on that point.  He used to dress me for everything, which I liked until I gained a little weight and then certain clothes became uncomfortable and also at work, I was a little apprehensive and wanted to wear what I wanted to wear.  So, we then changed to where I would pick the clothing for work and he would pick the underclothing, but then again, I ran into a comfort issue.  A lot of frilly lingerie is just not conducive to work.  And then as I gained a few pounds, they were too tight and more uncomfortable.  Then we changed to I would pick the work outfits and he would pick the after work outfits.  But, he always chose jeans and I was a little put off by that because he had purchased all these little skirts for me, but then would never pick them for me to wear.  I began to think that he was trying to be sweet and make me comfortable – which is sooo like him.  But, when i asked him, he said that he liked me in jeans!  Okay, well, anyway, I as interested in wearing a little more seductive clothing.  So, I tried picking out some of my won clothing little by little and he didn’t protest and then I began to think that I was too fat and that my legs were too ugly – veiny and so forth blah, blah, I know…but blame it on society, not me!  Then my attire became sweats…LOL!!!  (And i wonder why we are possibly in a ‘rut’!)

Okay, so back to my fantasies…if I had the money to purchase the clothing that I wanted, then i would definitely dress differently…all the time…no not necessarily in leather or in maids outfits, although I am totally NOT against that.  hee hee!  But I would dress sexy all the time.  What is my idea of sexy?  Well, little dresses and heels, little skirts and frilly shirts, sexy lingerie galore…all matching of course!!!  Lots of stockings and garters and corsets.  I would dress sexy for work also….sexy pants and awesome sexy shoes with secret sexy lingerie underneath.  I would want to wear more jewelry…..jewelry that had significance….like necklaces and bracelets and anklets that subtly told that I was submissive.  I would also want to have my hair routinely fixed very sexily to suit my Master.

Okay…enough dreaming.  Maybe I will have to forego some other things in order to get my sexy wardrobe.  Maybe after I lose the weight.  ?  Or maybe I shouldn’t wait.  Whadya think?

Day 27: Do your non-kink interests ever find their way into your kinky activities?

Rather than that, I think that we try to find ways to work our kinky activities into our non-kink interests, which would be everything else in our life!!!  For example, when being with family, especially extended family where we have to be in close quarters, I enjoy that we try to still hold onto our relationship of Dom/sub, but exhibit it in more subtle ways – such as when I ask permission for something in front of family, I have permission to say it more as a statement, if necessary, and then look to him for a nod of permission.  If he is not around, I always say that I’ll check with him.  That may come across as a little absurd in this day and age, but not too absurd.  I love to watch movies…and then talk about them with my Master.  But I REALLY love watching any movie that hints at BDSM or swinging or other kinks.  I am interested in being more healthy and that includes exercising.  In my life, my master controls my exercise by telling me how much I am allowed to do and whether I can skip or not.  (NOT).  Travel, which is something I am interested in doing, really a lot now that we have less responsibilities, is something that I know that we both hope to work our kink into.  For me, the possibility of traveling somewhere where people don’t know me, lends itself for me to be more submissive publicly.  mmmmmm!!!!  Reading is another of my interests which I try to read the kinky stuff a lot.  Or I read things  of a more historical angle where the woman is just naturally more submissive due to the culture. But, as you can see, I am working my kink into my interest nevertheless, even if subtly.  Computing is one of my favorite past times and look where i am?!  I love jewelry, even if I don’t have that much, but I adore any jewelry that represents BDSM.  i don’t have that much, but I do have my beloved Cartier bracelet, which has never been removed from my wrist.  I may be at a professional meeting, but I can look at my bracelet and know that I am owned!  Yep, I don’t think that my non-kink interests get in the way of my kinky activities but rather I try to work my kinky activities into all of my life – even if subtly.


Day 26: What’s your opinion on online BDSM play?

I definitely thought it was weird when I first encountered it, but the positive attention is what attracted me first and I had no intentions of anything online ever becoming real life…..E  V  E  R  !  When I met my Master online and we began to embark in an online Dom/sub relationship, I began to see more and more positive aspects and I was beginning to learn a lot.  Chatting was exciting, but a web cam changed everything.  We were online for a long time and so we got to know each other very well – all aspects of each other.  I don’t think most online relationships go this way.  I think most online “doms” are not really Dominant, they are just looking for basically phone sex.  I wonder if most really want an actual relationship.  I feel like the way to weed out the posers is with time.  And then….online won’t do anymore and then you want to actually be with each other…and then more and more….and if it is really meant to be…then 24/7!

Day 25: How open are you about your kinks?

I am only completely open to my Master.  I am somewhat open to others we play with, but I am completely in the closet with family, coworkers, and neighbors.  😉  I think that most people just perceive me and my Master, who also is my husband, as a normal couple, though with my husband being a little bossy!  LOL