A hookup this weekend?

My Master says that someone he met online is in town and may want to hookup. 

…..anxiety…….

Where’s my wine!? Ahhhhh ok. Better now.

Not feeling very good about my body lately. Sigh. I promise. My body is a summer project. 

I’m not that much overweight, but I really need to lose 20 pounds. 

It’s also scary to hookup with someone my Master desires to fuck because duh…jealousy. Yes it can also be exciting. But THAT determination is unknown yet. 

I’ll keep y’all updated.

Still in a Rut….But how do we get out of it…

Unfortunately, we have been a rut for some time.  It’s not to say that it is a deep hole or a mudslide.  Things are not horrible.  But, things are not where either of us want to be.  He says that he still wants and desires me.  He says that he wants to step up the Dom/sub, that he needs to.  But for some reason it is not happening.  I keep asking him what I need to do and he doesn’t really have anything for me to do.

I know some things that I need to do and I guess, like him, it is just hard to have the motivation.  😦  So I need to stop waiting around for him before I do some things myself.  I feel I have to.  I want to.  So, I’m going to start with a few of my own rules…for myself.  I’m sure that if he doesn’t like them, then he will tell me not to and then, of course, I will obey.  I want to obey.  I need more.  I need more of a lot of things and I need to work on making them happen for me.

I’m going to start with two steps.

Step 1 – I need to concentrate on my health.  I need to eat healthier and exercise.  (Don’t we all. lol)  I’m not really that overweight, but I do know that 20 extra pounds on me lowers my self confidence, affects my health, and makes me less desirable.  So, that is my first step.

Step 2 – I need to take more time to blog and read and explore and make online friends.  I used to want a sub sister friend, but that’s not working out.  I don’t want that anymore.  I decided that awhile back.  I will submit to whatever my Master desires, but I’m not going out on a limb with the heart to heart friendship thing.  I think I prefer to only have that as a non-romantically involved relationship.  (And even then, I have been hurt, so i may not go that route either.) Maybe making friends with the bloggers that I see their thoughts and I know they won’t just “disappear”.  That may be the best way to go.

On those steps, I’m going to think…..and now…sleep.

Pegging

I did not know this term. Pegging is a woman fucking a guy in the ass. Ok. Got it. Have I ever done that? No, I haven’t. I actually have only worn a strap on, one time. (Does it have to be a strap on to count?) I was pretty happy on wine and we were at some friends to play and one of our friends, female, fucked me with a strap on and then I, her. It was awkward, but FUN! I would live to have more fun, girl/girl with a strap on. I’m not sure how my Master would like me fucking him in the ass with a strap on, but if he wanted me, too, it could be fun. A fantasy scenario that he “might” like – he’s fucking a woman and then I’m fucking him! Hee hee. I’ll have to see if that interests him at all. Shrug! I don’t know how he would feel about being fucked by another guy? I know he likes dominating a guy as well as a woman and I’ve seen another guy suck his cock. Mmmmmm made me jealous! 

Five Guys and Two Girls

12am – I’ve got my pajamas on, brushed my teeth, settled in my bed for some brain yoga before turning out the lights.  yaaaawwwn.

Then, my Master tells me that he has a date for us, like right now!  (?!?!?!)

There is a little get together going on across town.  Four guys and one girl are having fun and we are going over to join them.  Okay.  First, I’m thinking.  Yikes!  I always get so nervous and scared when going over to play somewhere.  I worry about the same things you might imagine.  As I’m getting out of my pajamas and into some jeans and a shirt and my high heels and putting on makeup and a little jewelry and brushing my hair, I’m thinking…

Do I look okay? Wonder if I’ll be thought of as attractive?  (After all, I’m 48 and I could stand to lose 10 pounds.) Will it be fun?  Will I feel weird and out of place or will it all be good?  Will the girl mind if I am cutting in on her center of attention?

On top of all those questions, I also have anxiety about the fact that I’m on my period and so I won’t be fucking anyone.  I will, in fact, want to keep my pants on.  I will only be cock sucking, which my Master made clear to the host.

After I get dressed, and my Master is jumping in the shower, I drink a 1/2 can of soda to give me some caffeine and then my Master has poured me a glass of wine, which I down to calm my nerves.  My Master reassures me and tells me that I will be fine and that I can take it.  I like the feeling of being made to do these things.  It calms me.

We get there and my Master walks right in the door!  I’m assuming he was told to come on in.  We walk towards the moaning and into a large bedroom, where porn is happening live!  oh, wow! Everyone is naked.  The host says, to come on in and take our clothes off.  Two guys and the girl are on the bed. Arms and legs and moaning everywhere.  Two guys are standing by the bed, watching and stroking their cocks.

My Master tells me to go over and introduce myself to the guys watching.  I really don’t know what to do.  I move a little closer.  My Master goes to use the toilet and tells me that he meant for me to suck cock.  So, feeling a little sheepish, I get on my knees and start sucking the nearest cock.

I LOVE sucking cock.  I took turns sucking all the guys cocks, I think, except one.  He was totally interested in being right beside his girl, the other girl who was getting fucked on the bed.  I thoroughly enjoyed the cock sucking.  I can just use my skills, try to do my best and make my Master proud.  I don’t have to think, only listen to my Master telling to switch up or whatever.  He kept bragging about how good I was.  I was a little worried that I was not going to meet up to his bragging.  Then my Master had me to eat the girl’s pussy for awhile.  She had a very good body, small boobs, and a tiny pussy.  She tasted very good and I enjoyed sucking her clit, her lips and licking her from clit to ass as well as sticking my tongue in as deep as I could.

My Master is so awesome.  I really saw it last night.  He is so calm and cool and confident.  I really love that about him.  He really ALWAYS brings a relaxed atmosphere to every occasion.  He also has a great sense of humor, which helps everyone else to relax, too.  It helps me to relax and have a good time.  I know for a fact, that if I were with ANYONE else, that I don’t know if I could feel relaxed enough to have a good time.  In fact, I’m not sure I could make it through the door of a situation like that.  Not only do I feel more relaxed, (And let me tell you, you would never know that because much to my dismay, I turn into a giggling little girl, which I hate, and I’m trying to get over.) but also I know that he will watch over me and protect me.

3am – Everyone was exhausted.  Everyone else except us had been there and banging for hours before we arrrived.  They began to wrap things up, get dressed, and get ready to go home.

What a night! I enjoyed the attention.  I enjoyed more so, the attention that I was giving.  It seemed I was pleasing.  Most of all, my Master seemed pleased with me.  That is what I crave and need, most of all.  🙂