Punishment vs. Torture

In the context of our BDSM relationship, we have defined TORTURE as something that is for fun or purely arousal.  In fact the definition of torture is the action or practice of inflicting severe pain on someone as a punishment or to force them to do or say something, or for the pleasure (in SM, this may be sexual pleasure) of the person inflicting the pain.  I may be spanked purely as torture or I may be spanked as PUNISHMENT which is not fun and is a result of atonement for wrong doing.  The definition of punishment is the infliction or imposition of a penalty as retribution for an offense.

Why is this important?  In our relationship, it is very important to differentiate the two.  I sometimes want to ASK for either TORTURE or PUNISHMENT.  If I have been bratty and then proceed to ask for my Master to TORTURE me,   (As in I’m horny and wish to be spanked, because it is a turn-on for me.), then my Master not only will NOT want to give me any pleasure at all, but also this will anger him because I have not properly yet paid for my offense(s).  On the other hand, if I am feeling the need to really want to pay for my crimes and I want him to give me punishment in order to show how very sorry I am and want to feel that I have atoned, then he will be happy with my request.

This was our discussion today and I feel so happy to have this clarification.  I feel so much better and I can’t wait for tonight after the movie time so that I can get on my knees and ask for further punishment.  I do feel like He punished me some today with the capcaisin cream and spanking, but I really want to properly get on my knees and ask for punishment, partly to set forth in my mind what this means and how very much I want to show my repentance and how sorry I am.  I want to show him tears of sorrow for my behavior.  I want to feel the submissiveness that I also know He wants me to feel.


Kink of the Week – Tickling

Uh…No! I don’t like to be tickled at all. I find most tickling just annoying, but don’t even go near my feet. I mean, don’t even touch my feet, let alone TICKLE them.

I guess that tickling would definitely be torture to me, but I would not find it erotic or enjoyable at all. Sometimes, my Master does tickle me. My response is always a scream to stop, stop! I’m sure that he rather enjoys that as much as I hate it.

My Master respects my total aversion to having my feet touched. I almost always wear socks because my feet are THAT sensitive. I’m actually pretty sensitive everywhere, actually. My nipples and my clit are so sensitive that it actually annoys me. I sometimes wish that I were not so sensitive.

On the other hand, I might not have screaming head-tossing orgasms if I weren’t. 🙂

Kink of the week – Roleplay

Roleplay – an interesting topic to explore.  I consider myself a submissive and my husband a Dominant and Master.  We don’t pretend or roleplay.  It is true that the degree to which we are expressing our submissive and Dominance.  We definitely express more of the BDSM when we are in bed/having sex.  And because we are long term partners –  We’ve been together for about 10 years – i think life gets in the way sometimes of our degrees.  But as for the roles we are – as opposed to playing them – I feel I really am submissive and don’t think that I could ever play the Dominant.

We have done a little role play that does not have a definite line between role play and real selves and that is the Daddy/Little Girl thing.  For me, it IS a big turn on, not only because it makes me wet even writing about it, but because it shares so much with Dom/sub.  I like to feel vulnerable, when I know I am safe.  I like the thought of being “made” to do things in any text, actually.  I never was abused as a child and I never had sexual thoughts of my father, whom I adored and thought was awesome!  Even when we play this role, I don’t think of my father at all, but rather of my Master.  Because for me, it is all about power – whatever the name!

I think it would be fun to role play in some other situations.  I think if my Master were leading it, I could easily fall into any role that he wanted me to be put in as long as I were still allowed to be my submissive self.

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