Asking for Punishment

In reading a post by wildwestangel, which was a great post, by the way, a question occurred to me.

How does one ask for punishment?

I mean, I know why. I often feel I need and want punishment. At times because I’ve done wrong and other times just because I NEED to feel used and vulnerable and dominated. But HOW? How does one ask without feeling like I’m just wanting playtime or just wanting to feel selfish for wanting to feel better. Isn’t it better for me to suffer with guilt? Not that I want to, i want to move on as wildwestangel put it. 😦

Am I a Slacker Slave?

Why do I slack on my chores/rules?

Honestly, I don’t know the answer to that question. Sometimes, I’m just tired. I work and have a long commute so that is my excuse for not blogging every night this week. Not sure if that is a good excuse or not?

On the other hand, maybe it is because I know that I can get away with it. I mean, I want to be extra special and good, but sometimes I’m just not motivated enough to do it. I suspect that my Master actually feels the same way. He would LIKE to enforce the rules, but sometimes maybe he’s just not motivated enough to do it.

I don’t like the thought of being a slacker slave, though. 😦

Why is it so hard to perform my chores?

I want to be good. I really do. I can’t stand to disappoint and I really want to please. I think that makes me a good submissive to some degree. But, I still fail. I look back at some of my initial chores and rules and wonder several things.

Why did I slack? Why didn’t I find it within myself to be persistent? What made me then, just, give up? Why didn’t I talk to my Master about these things? What caused him to decided that the chore was to be eliminated? Was it my not doing it? Was it his lack of checking up on me? Was that too much for him? Did he just decided that it wasn’t worth it? Or was it lack of time and too much life getting in the way?

I want to blame it on my Master and say that it is because he doesn’t make me. But is that fair? No, I think not. I need to take responsibility for these things. Just because I am submissive, does not mean that I am brainless, nor does it mean that I am irresponsible and need someone to be responsible for me. Well, I do need someone to be responsible for me. I do need a keeper. But, I can do my part.

The question is, how do I motivate myself more? sigh…

February 2014 – New Rules/Chores

As I’ve mentioned in other posts, our focus on BDSM has slackened over the past while, but we’ve talked extensively about how we really both want to get back into focus. (Even with the slack, our Dom/sub relationship never goes away. I still do certain things such as ask permission for most things and serve him coffee in bed each morning and after naps. And in the bedroom, our sex usually contains some sort of BDSM play even if it is nothing more than following orders.) So, this past week resulted in a new short list of chores for me to focus on. Here they are:

1. Physical Appearance – My Master wants me to focus on making myself as physically appealing to him as I can.

(I always do this, anyway, I feel, but with the renewed attention to the directive, I do feel like I should put more focus into it. I had started going to the gym and then we moved. I have a really long commute now, so not sure if I can get into that right now, or not. But that doesn’t mean I can’t watch my diet more. I will! Another things is my nails. My Master likes it when I have long nails. But, I cut them off about 2 1/2 years ago because it was such a hassle. I also cannot, to save my life, paint polish without making a complete mess. And going to a professional is expensive. I have decided to compromise by starting to let my nails grow and wear only clear polish. I will ask him to determine if/when I should start having my nails done again, professionally. I am also trying to wear more makeup on my off days. He tells me that I look beautiful without makeup, but you know how it is!)

2. Blog daily.

3. Do first, then ask. My Master wants me to show in some way that I am moving into the direction he has stated before as he puts it, arguing, or as I put, giving info/input. This will be hard for me, but I can do it.

4. Inspections. This entails me standing before him naked and turning as he looks me over.

Okay, so 4. I’m ready for more, please! 🙂

Edited: I must add that there are many, many rules/chores that I do, by habit, since we have been together for many years. I wanted to add them here:

I make espresso with cream and serve my Master in bed each morning and after naps.
I ask permission before doing most things, particularly if they are not normal routine activities.
I am never to raise my voice to him, nor slam doors or cabinets.
I ask each day as to which perfume I should wear each day. I have about 8 perfumes to choose from.
I always tell my Master when I am getting tired and ready for bed.
He rarely goes to bed when I do, as he is an insomniac, but he does tuck me in and kiss me goodnight and joins me later.
I always walk on my Master’s right side. really is habit.
I must tell him if I masturbate in the shower.
No saying, “whatever”.
I always tell him that I’m thinking of taking a shower and he will tell me to go ahead or to wait.
I never leave the house without permission and rarely without him. He drives me everywhere. (Not that I can’t drive. I even have my own car, which we usually drive because it gets better gas mileage. But he prefers to drive me and I prefer to ride anyway.)
My Master takes care of all the bills.
My Master does all the shopping. I write on the list, or tell, or text him what I need or want and he decides what to buy. He pretty much gets me whatever I ask for, but I’m pretty frugal and don’t ask for expensive things. Sometimes I go shopping and sometimes I don’t.
I wear a Cartier Love Bracelet, which is never removed and is similar to a collar.
I ask him daily, at least once, if there is anything he wishes me to do that evening.

I guess I already have a pretty big list, don’t I?

Day 9 of 30 Days of Submission: Day 9 – Do you accept and/or expect structure, rules and limits as a part of your submission? How do you feel about them?

Day 9 – Do you accept and/or expect structure, rules and limits as a part of your submission? How do you feel about them?

I do accept and expect structure, rules and limits. I want them. If I want to serve my Master and this makes him happy, then I want to know what it is that I need to do. It really makes things a lot easier when you can know what will make your significant other happy. And I’m the type of person that likes structure anyway. I like rules and lists and I like very specific directions. This helps me know that I am doing things correctly. So, in my relationship I can feel that I am doing the things that are guaranteed to make him happy and proud of me – basically, PLEASED with me.

My rules and chores tend to ebb and flow. Sometimes my Master is more strict than others and we often come together to rewrite the rules. By this, I mean HE rewrites the rules. He does this based on our circumstances – such as who is living with us at the time, how much discretion is needed, health limitations, times of the year, after moves, or just after we have digressed from our BDSM life due to, well, due to life!

My Master has actually just recently come up with a new short list for me. It consists of the following:

1. Physical Appearance – I must do everything possible to make myself as pleasing to him as I can. To me this means dressing as nicely or sexily as is reasonable for the current activities. Making sure I am shaved, clean and make-up on. I also need to lose weight, so this would mean watching my weight also.

2. Blogging everyday.

3. Whenever my Master gives me an instruction, I am to do first and then if I feel the need, I may ask if I may say or ask something. This is VERY hard for me because I want to say, but…because I feel that he may lack some information that I need to tell him. Even if it is seemingly impossible for me to do, I must make some effort to look as though I am beginning to follow the direction. (For example, start to get up and head the correct direction before asking if I may say something.)

4. Inspections – This is a naked inspection wherein my Master will look at my body. I guess to see if I am reasonable shaved, etc.

This is all that he has given me, though there are a few unspoken rules – I always make him fresh coffee espresso and serve him in bed – each morning and after naps. Also, I ask permission for almost everything. I am also never to raise my voice to him.

I do feel, at times, that the chores are almost pointless. I may not see a reward or a compliment or a punishment at times when I don’t perform correctly. And this discourages me and makes me think, Why should I? Of course I already know the answer and so I try very hard not to think that way and to continue what he wants me to do.

We have moved!

Settling in to our new apartment has been hard.  I have a long commute to work now and we are surrounded by boxes and chaos.  But, my Master sees the need for us to get back into a routine…with structure and rules and he is starting to lay this out for me.  I am excited to get back into more structure.  I like structure and I like rules.  Most of all, I want to please.

Masturbating – Do Tell

My Master has a new rule in which I am required to tell him if I masturbate. And I must tell him ASAP. Some Masters require permission to cum. My Master, fortunately does not require this. I cannot, at this point in time, cum upon command. Nor can I, at this point in time, stop an orgasm once it has started. More on how I cum in another post.

Why is it so hard for me to follow this rule? Well, actually, telling him that I have masturbated is SO incredibly embarrassing to me. Why? I don’t know. But, even harder for me is if, no when, because he always says, “What were you thinking about?” But why is this so hard for me? Sometimes I’m not really sure I was thinking of anything in particular. Is that weird? Sometimes I do have a fleeting thought during the act, but, if I tell, does that mean I really want this done to me? I mean, that IS why he is asking, isn’t he? He is asking me because he wants to learn about how I think. But, what if he really, I mean REALLY does what I fantasized about in the shower as I came. Or maybe I thought of it only for a second, which excited me enough to want to make myself cum?

What do you think?

New Time, New Start – The New Rules

My Master laid out for me Three New Rules. We are starting afresh and so most rules I have becomes slack in doing and he has been slow on enforcing, so here are the three new rules.

Rule #1 – I WILL OBEY

A. Consistent Directives (not dependent on situation)
1. FOLLOW DIRECTIVES – This has been an issue for my Master because when he tells me to do something, I tend to say, but what about… or but that’s not… This leads him to believe that I think that I am smarter than him and looks like I’m arguing. SO, instead, I must first say YES SIR and then I can say, MAY I SAY SOMETHING?.
2. MASTURBATION – must tell the very next opportunity. My Master does not require me to ask first to masturbate. But he does want to know about it and I tend not to tell him immediately, but rather may mention it when he asks, which may be days later. So, now I must tell him ASAP. And it is now a RULE, not just something he would like for me to do.
3. COFFEE – I always make him coffee in the morning, but he doesn’t usually ask me to make it for him during the day. Now, he will be telling me more often to make and serve him coffee.

B. Situationally Dependent Directives (may or may not be possible at all times, but I will still be responsible for outcomes)
1. DECISIONS. If there is any way possible, ask first for all decisions. If not possible, such as when I’m at work, I can make decision, but discuss with Master asap and explain why.
2. PERMISSION. I need permission. (Shower. Bathroom. …) In our lifestyle, if others, such as children, are about, then I can say something such as, I was thinking of taking a shower and then my Master can acknowledge that is okay for me to continue. As for going to the bathroom, he requires me to look at him when I say I need to go to the bathroom and he gives a nod of his head in acknowledgement and permission. This has been a long standing rule, but I have slacked.

Rule #2 – Show Respect.

A. DON’T ARGUE. If I disagree, say Yes, Sir and then ask permission to ask/say.
B. NO SMARTASSNESS – I tend to scoff a lot. And I’ve gotten really bratty about that. It is to stop!
C. NO “WHATEVER” instead – Yes Sir. Uh, yeah, I’m REALLY bad for saying that one whenever I disagree but will acquiesce anyway. So, really going to have to work on that one. Whatever. Uh, I mean, okay!

Rule #3 – Sex for Master ANYTIME, ANYONE, ANYWAY he desires. He allows me to be a part of all sex.


From Wake-up to 8am (at which time I must be at work)
Coffee for Master

Must ask to stay after work, unless required.

GYM – Must attend 4 days min. (Must ask permission before attempting any new workouts or classes)
BLOG – 4 days min.
Send Master a PIC or STORY from internet that might make his cock hard (ask permission to read stories)– 4 days min.

Master picks CLOTHING – I can wear pj for lounging in am. Then Master picks clothing.
Let Master know on Friday if I have to bring WORK HOME. And then do work when Master allows.

My new rules…from Master

Right now, for a time undetermined..these are my new rules.

This coming after my Master and I are (hopefully) coming out of a rut.  That in another post.

Basic Rules

1. Ask Permission 

Prior to computer usage

Prior to phone calls

Prior to going to sleep

Prior to changing cloths

Prior to bathing

Prior to exercise

Prior to walking dog

2. Behavior

Do not raise your voice.

Wait attentively for responses.

Make honest attempts to fulfill directions and obey commands.

If you can not fulfill a direction inform your Master asap.

Do not slam doors or cabinets.

Daily Schedule

8 am – 9 am

Wake up & make coffee and computer time

Make Coffee When presenting coffee always stand next to your Master with coffee in hand and eyes down. Wait for your Master to take the coffee from your hands.

9 am – 10 am


10 am – 11 am


11 am – 12 am

Shower & computer time

Inquire as to which perfume should be worn for the day.

Prior to your shower look in the mirror for 1 minute. Repeat the phrase “I am my Master’s pet. My Master loves me and finds me beautiful. There for I am beautiful.”

12 am – 2 pm 

Nap time

2 pm – 3 pm 

Computer time

3 pm – 4 pm

Projects to be assigned daily.

5 pm

Dinner and free time

Read and or update your submissive blog & Twitter.

Write in your diary.

8 pm 


Strip naked and present yourself for inspection by your Master.

Present the clothing you wish to wear to be to your Master.



Tardiness in excess of 2 minutes on any scheduled tasked shall result in two lashes for every minute of tardiness.


Failure to ask permission for a task requiring permission shall result in two lashes.

Poor Behavior

Any violation of the behavior section of the rules shall result in five lashes.


I venture to say that I shall be very successful at this!!!

New/Old Chore

There was a time when my Master picked out all of my clothing.  At that time I had a lot of clothing, a lot of underclothing, etc…  I was a size 4/6.  Now I am a size 10…uck..but, ohwell.  So, all of that clothing doesn’t fit anymore and my wardrobe is not as abundant as it was then.  Between those size points, I began to get irritated with my Master picking out my clothing for work because I didn’t agree with some of his choices as being “professional”.  He would try to argue that the woman’s body was beautiful and it didn’t matter if my nipples stuck out so.  I disagreed.  So the rule was changed to where I could select my work clothing.  And then I became depressed at how much of my clothing didn’t fit and so the rule was put on the back burner.

Now, however, I’ve asked for the rule to be reinstated and my Master was happy with this, I think.  I rearranged and cleaned out and packed up things from my huge closet so that now things readily available actually fit me and I’ve separated what I feel comfortable wearing to work – thus work clothes – to a separate section.

I will now add this to my list of rules.  🙂