Public Displays of our BDSM relationship…

Our relationship has to remain subtle because we have lives that interfere with our life.  LOL  We have family and kids and careers and just life.  Most of our BDSM relationship is expressed behind our bedroom door or if we go out to play with certain people.

But, we do have certain rituals that we perform that show to each other that we are still 24/7 Master/slave.  These things may just look to others like my husband is the “boss” or that I really “adore” my husband.  And guess what?  It’s true!  My husband is the boss and I really do adore him!

So, what are these subtle things?  I may have to add to this list as I think of them.

  • I always “check” with my husband before doing things.
  • I almost never go anywhere by myself.
  • He ALWAYS drives. (It makes him car sick to be a passenger.)
  • He always opens doors for me. (It may seem sweet, but it is also a control, I think.)
  • He “leads” me when we maneuver through crowds or through restaurants. ( I hate to lead the way when we go to our table at restaurants.  He may guide me by a gentle hand on me, or more likely, he may take my hand and go first.)
  • He “orders” for me. (This, after we discuss the menu and I tell him what I want.)
  • I make him coffee every morning and serve him in bed.  I also make him coffee after a “nap”.
  • He does ALL the shopping.  We (family) all add things as needed or wanted to the grocery list on the refrigerator, but he makes final decision as to whether to buy it or not.
  • He does ALL the bills.
  • Basically, he makes most decisions.
  • I ask him daily if there is anything that he wants me to do today.
  • He asks me my plans and often makes me a list or looks over my list of to do for the day.
  • I wear a Cartier love bracelet, which is never removed.
  • He has influence into what I wear.
  • He decides what I buy in shopping for clothing.  I must try on the clothing and show him and he will say whether it is a go or not.

I can’t think of anything else right now.  I’ll add it if I think of it.  I would like for there to be more, but one really has to be creative.

Chores for hispreciouspet….or not?

Thanks to slutlyfe for inspiration for this blog post!  🙂  I love the fact that I have chores given to me by my Master.  With that said, the next topic becomes…ok, well, does hispreciouspet do them?  Does she do them without fail?  If not, why?  If she fails, what are consequences?  And…finally…is she happy with chores?  Why or why not?

My Master has given me many, many chore lists over the years.  Some were so small that I was almost offended – uh, like 2?  But, the reason he did so makes total sense.  He did this because besides our 24/7 real life relationship, we also have LIFE, ie…kids, family, career, etc…  There has been times in our life when our LIFE was so overwhelming that we have had to put Dom/sub on the back burner, save for the main rule of me doing whatever he says.  At times like these, he is very sensitive to the fact that I do not wish for my children or our families, the neighbors, or coworkers to know of our “secret life”.  Therefore, though I still strive to “obey” him, he is careful to request things inside the above guidelines that we discussed.  Behind closed doors is a different story.

Most people see my Master as just a sweet, though bossy, guy.  They probably see me as pretty weak, since I must always ask my Master, though I refer to his real name and not Master in front of most people.  They know that I must always check with him before doing anything, which may be exasperating to some people, but i love it!  On the other hand, in my career, I am somewhat of a leader and I do direct others under me.  In the case of my career, I am free to make my own choices unless they revolve past work hours and then I always check with my Master.

I have digressed.  Back to the chores.  There also was a time when my Master decided we needed to step things up, and he gave me pages and pages of chores…very detailed. Although I really was excited about this and tried to comply, it seems it was just too overwhelming and besides, I must admit a fault of his here, he tends not to either “remember” or for whatever reason, he lets me slide.  Sometimes he lets me slide when I just “forget”.  Other times he lets me slide with the lamest of my excuses.  I believe that the reason that he does this is because he really loves me so much in addition to being my Master we are soulmates and best friends forever!!!!  So, he tends to be too nice.  Since I love him, I accept that.

I realize, that in my posting this, it may open up a can of worms that has already been partially opened.  We have discussed this issue a time or too and then we discuss either new rules or discuss that we need to step it up.  Sometimes I’m like yeah, step it up, step it up!  And then other times, I’m like, but I’m happy with the way things are and I like having the freedom.

Just like all aspects of myself….i’m pretty freaking flighty! sigh………

Looking at my current chore list…


Master’s Rules for hispet

Basic Rules

1. Permission Ask permission prior to events. ( I have a tendency with these chores, to simply let him know that I am going to do them and then he acknowledges.  But that is not really asking permission, is it?  )

A. Getting on the computer.

B. Taking a shower.

C. Taking a nap.

D. Eating.

E. Changing clothes.

F. Making phone calls.

2. Behavior

Behaving submissive is key to both stimulating submissive feelings in yourself as well as showing respect to your Dominant.

A. Do not raise your voice. (I try not to do this, but often am unsuccessful.  Master’s last consequence, used a couple days ago, which maybe might be a good idea, is to cover my mouth and nose where I can’t breathe.  I tend to calm right down.  And that is often my biggest problem.  Once I start to get mad and my adrenaline gets going, I have an extremely difficult time calming down.  Ok, let’s just admit, I can’t calm down.)

B. Wait attentively for responses.

C. Make honest attempts to full directions and obey commands. (Here I can honestly say that I am a good girl!)


1. Make Coffee When presenting coffee always stand next to your Master with coffee in hand and eyes down. Wait for your Master to take the coffee from your hands. (Every morning without fail, I am first up and make coffee for my Master and serve him in bed.  He likes espresso with cream!  I don’t always look down nor do I always wait for him to take it.  Sometimes I just set it by his bedside and let him know it is there.  There was a time period when he was really strict and demanded that I look down before taking his coffee.  I liked it when he did that.)

2. Make sure to ask for permission prior to showering and then dressing.

3. Inquire as to which perfume should be worn for the day. (I diligently try to follow this and will even text him if he is not around to ask him which perfume I should wear.  If he is not available and I have to get dressed, then I will either wear no fragrance or I will wear what I wore the day before.  I have about 8 perfumes that I wear regularly.)


1. Wait in or by the car to be escorted inside.  ( I do always text him, but do NOT always wait on him to come and help me from car to house. I never have a consequence for not following this rule.  :b )

2. Once inside make sure to kiss your Master prior to addressing other issues. (I’ve tried to follow this more consistently as of late, again..though…no consequence. )

3. Inquire as to what your Master wishes for you to do now that you are home prior to making plans.


1. Lay out the next day’s clothes.  (yeah, yeah….not…lol)

2. Inquire as to what meal preparations should be taken. (As of late, we’ve pretty much not been cooking.)

3. Inquire as to your Master’s desires for the evening. ( I always ask of his plans, particularly on weekend in case we are going to “play” and especially if we are going out, because I want to be ready.)

4. Read and or update your submissive blog. (This I got away from for several months, but my Master didn’t seem to mind one way or the other.)

Bed Time

1. Inform your Master that you are ready to prepare for bed.

2. Strip naked and present yourself for inspection by your Master (I did this for a short while, but then “forgot” and apparently so did Master.  )

3. Present the clothing you wish to wear to bed to your Master. (As of late, I’ve been sleeping in the nude, which was a very difficult transition for me.  I like sleeping with pajamas on because sometimes I have to get up in the night, for kids, pets, or to go to the bathroom and I hate freezing to death while trying to find my clothes and put them on.  However, my kids are teenagers now and since I know my Master really wishes for me to sleep naked, I decided to commit to this.  :))

Master always wants me to be on his right side (We’ve followed this for so long (5+years!) that it feels weird/wrong for me to be on the other side.)

Rules added 2011:

* – To text Master at least 2 times during work. (I do try to follow this.  No consequence if i don’t.)

* – To blog daily. (Again, whatever…LOL)

* – To blog topics that he may request. (Uh, okay, he has never given me a topic to blog about as of yet.  He has had me to write essays in the past about things and send them via email to him.)

More Rules Added:

* – Straighten bedroom daily. (Sometimes I do this.)

* – Suck Master’s Cock daily. (Although I acquiesce any time he requests, it is not necessarily daily.)

So, as I said previously,  do have rules – YES.      I do follow them – SOMETIMES.  And basically, – NO – there are no consequences if I don’t.  I suspect that my Master might say that i should be following these rules no matter if there is a consequence or not and he would be right.  But, I COULD be a better slave for him…..