A hookup this weekend?

My Master says that someone he met online is in town and may want to hookup. 

…..anxiety…….

Where’s my wine!? Ahhhhh ok. Better now.

Not feeling very good about my body lately. Sigh. I promise. My body is a summer project. 

I’m not that much overweight, but I really need to lose 20 pounds. 

It’s also scary to hookup with someone my Master desires to fuck because duh…jealousy. Yes it can also be exciting. But THAT determination is unknown yet. 

I’ll keep y’all updated.

Five Guys and Two Girls

12am – I’ve got my pajamas on, brushed my teeth, settled in my bed for some brain yoga before turning out the lights.  yaaaawwwn.

Then, my Master tells me that he has a date for us, like right now!  (?!?!?!)

There is a little get together going on across town.  Four guys and one girl are having fun and we are going over to join them.  Okay.  First, I’m thinking.  Yikes!  I always get so nervous and scared when going over to play somewhere.  I worry about the same things you might imagine.  As I’m getting out of my pajamas and into some jeans and a shirt and my high heels and putting on makeup and a little jewelry and brushing my hair, I’m thinking…

Do I look okay? Wonder if I’ll be thought of as attractive?  (After all, I’m 48 and I could stand to lose 10 pounds.) Will it be fun?  Will I feel weird and out of place or will it all be good?  Will the girl mind if I am cutting in on her center of attention?

On top of all those questions, I also have anxiety about the fact that I’m on my period and so I won’t be fucking anyone.  I will, in fact, want to keep my pants on.  I will only be cock sucking, which my Master made clear to the host.

After I get dressed, and my Master is jumping in the shower, I drink a 1/2 can of soda to give me some caffeine and then my Master has poured me a glass of wine, which I down to calm my nerves.  My Master reassures me and tells me that I will be fine and that I can take it.  I like the feeling of being made to do these things.  It calms me.

We get there and my Master walks right in the door!  I’m assuming he was told to come on in.  We walk towards the moaning and into a large bedroom, where porn is happening live!  oh, wow! Everyone is naked.  The host says, to come on in and take our clothes off.  Two guys and the girl are on the bed. Arms and legs and moaning everywhere.  Two guys are standing by the bed, watching and stroking their cocks.

My Master tells me to go over and introduce myself to the guys watching.  I really don’t know what to do.  I move a little closer.  My Master goes to use the toilet and tells me that he meant for me to suck cock.  So, feeling a little sheepish, I get on my knees and start sucking the nearest cock.

I LOVE sucking cock.  I took turns sucking all the guys cocks, I think, except one.  He was totally interested in being right beside his girl, the other girl who was getting fucked on the bed.  I thoroughly enjoyed the cock sucking.  I can just use my skills, try to do my best and make my Master proud.  I don’t have to think, only listen to my Master telling to switch up or whatever.  He kept bragging about how good I was.  I was a little worried that I was not going to meet up to his bragging.  Then my Master had me to eat the girl’s pussy for awhile.  She had a very good body, small boobs, and a tiny pussy.  She tasted very good and I enjoyed sucking her clit, her lips and licking her from clit to ass as well as sticking my tongue in as deep as I could.

My Master is so awesome.  I really saw it last night.  He is so calm and cool and confident.  I really love that about him.  He really ALWAYS brings a relaxed atmosphere to every occasion.  He also has a great sense of humor, which helps everyone else to relax, too.  It helps me to relax and have a good time.  I know for a fact, that if I were with ANYONE else, that I don’t know if I could feel relaxed enough to have a good time.  In fact, I’m not sure I could make it through the door of a situation like that.  Not only do I feel more relaxed, (And let me tell you, you would never know that because much to my dismay, I turn into a giggling little girl, which I hate, and I’m trying to get over.) but also I know that he will watch over me and protect me.

3am – Everyone was exhausted.  Everyone else except us had been there and banging for hours before we arrrived.  They began to wrap things up, get dressed, and get ready to go home.

What a night! I enjoyed the attention.  I enjoyed more so, the attention that I was giving.  It seemed I was pleasing.  Most of all, my Master seemed pleased with me.  That is what I crave and need, most of all.  🙂

Master Being Mysterious Turns into Humiliation for me

Sorry that I’m just now getting back to the mysterious night. After I was teased into thinking I might be punished by being fucked by multiple guys, and then finding out it was all just a tease, my Master still had other plans that I didn’t know about.

We sat down to watch some TV and my Master suddenly texted me a number and said, ” Text Lydia and ask her for permission to suck my cock later.” I was like, “what?”

Let me explain who Lydia was. Lydia was someone that I really didn’t know. My Master had found her online and had recently started chatting it up with her. I had never talked or texted her. But, I knew that he was chatting a bit with her and he had told me a thing or two about her. This was a commonplace thing in our life. But telling me to do this task? This was not something that I had done before! I was embarrassed and reluctant. What if she cussed me out or something. Did she know about this ahead of time? I couldn’t even concentrate on the movie because I was slightly mortified. But, I did as my Master requested and texted her. She responded back with, “Yes, you have my permission”. I said, “TY” and she said “You’re welcome.”

So, later, we go to the bedroom and he tells me to get undressed and lay across his lap where he then proceeds to smack my bottom while admonishing me for disobeying him and humiliating me more by talking about how I had to ask for permission to suck his cock. He lets me suck his cock and then fuck him, all the while telling me that he should put me in the corner and force me to listen to him fuck Lydia.

That would be sooo humiliating. I feel my face getting red just thinking about it. And the thought of being humiliated, and my face being red and having no control over the situation like that, makes me feel so submissive that I feel hot and my pussy tingles a bit.

What confusing feelings!

Can anyone relate?

Master Being Mysterious – UGH!

Last night,

While I got all ready for this mysterious play date, my Master asked me, “I’ve never asked you before, but do you have a problem with black men?”. My response was, “No, of course not.” (In fact, once I had a wonderful summer with a guy from the Dominican Republic, who was very dark. He must have forgotten.) We were supposed to leave at 10pm and right before 10, my Master was like, “uh, it might be a bit later. It’s hard to coordinate with this many people. I was like, “what???” My anxiety went up a bit. He said, “You trust me, don’t you?” I said, “yes, sir, of course” and “May I please have a glass of wine?” lol

A little later my Master said, “Well, Damn, forget it. It’s not going to happen tonight.” (I didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed. Ha!) I said, “ok, are you going to share?” He was like we were going over to Matt and Nickie’s house. Ohhhh…how funny, NOT. This was a couple that we had played with a few times before, but it had been awhile. My Master was such a tease!!! As it turned out, though, Matt and Nickie had to cancel.

But, the night was not over. My Master still intended to humiliate me. More later.

A Couple Hooks Up With a Guy

Yep. That’s what we did last night. My Master will tell me that we may have plans tonight. But he doesn’t tell me what/where/details. I hate/love that. On the one hand, it forces me to trust him. On the other hand, I want to know the juicy details.

So I start to get ready. Shower, shave, paint my toenails a new blue color. CUTE! And then sit at my computer to await instructions. After some time, he says that the first plans fell through. We were supposed to meet up with a guy whose wife was out of town, but he had a free hall pass. (Really? Who does that?) But, my Master said that the wife was going to call and chat to verify. OK..that sounds better. But, anyway, he went to a bar first and it was getting too late, so my Master dropped that.

It was getting later and later and honestly I was getting tired. 2am is pretty late. I drank a stevia cola for the caffeine along with my beer to calm my nerves. Ok, he says, we have plans are you still up to it? Sure I say. Because I am a Good Girl. I am my Daddy’s Good Little Girl and I know it will please him.

We head to this other guys house whose wife is also “out of town”. I’m leery, but ok. We meet the guy, go to the bedroom. I suck his cock and my Master fucks me. I REALLY enjoyed the fuck from my Master. The guy, well, he was ok, I guess. He was really nervous and was about to cum the moment I started to suck him, so I had to really back off on my cock sucking skills as he couldn’t take it. When finally he let go and came in my mouth, my first thought was…..wow, he is really salty!!!! Then my Master wrapped it up and we left. THAT was a QUICKIE, INDEED!!!

After we left, my Master said that he got the vibe that the guy was maybe not actually on a hall pass from his wife. We don’t want to get into issues where everybody, whether there or not, is not consenting. I’m glad my Master feels that way.

He was proud of me! (blush and smile)

Where would you sleep if there were 3 in the bed?

I would prefer not to be in the middle, because I think I might be a tad claustrophobic. I have no problem with being tied up, that I know of. And I like being blindfolded. I also like to have a fan blowing on my face at night.

I would prefer that my Master sleep in the middle. 🙂

Saturday Night with “Ben” and “Beatrice”.

Not their REAL names, of course, but we did meet up with them last night. I was busy talking on the phone to my Mom and I got a text from my Master and he said, “Plans tonight. Get ready.” Yikes! I only had an hour!!! Okay…bye to Mom and then jump in the shower and wash hair and shave, including my lady bits. My Master likes me shaven completely. I ask him to check me and he approves.

The plans were to meet up with another couple who just wanted to have same bed sex and then see what happens. They said this was their first time doing this. We met at their apartment, which was really cute. Ben had dark hair and was a bit stocky. Beatrice was also dark-haired and was a little “fluffy” as we like to say. I was definitely the shy one of the bunch, and the less talkative. Fortunately, they brought out a bottle of wine and I started to feel a little more relaxed. After quite a bit of talk, we started to make out on opposite ends of their very large vinyl couch. I was thoroughly enjoying myself, because I LOVE to kiss my Master. My Master started to undress me and we started making out heavier. Eventually, things led to the bedroom and we started to have sex – us on our side of the bed, and them on theirs. Then my Master told me to reach over and touch Beatrice. I hesitated because I was not sure she had any bisexual inclinations and didn’t know if that would be welcome or not. My Master then asked her if she minded. She replied the affirmative and so I began to fondle her fairly large tits. I think they were a nice size, personally. They were bigger than mine, but I don’t think her nipples were as nice as mine even though her nipples were one thing in the pics that were sent to him that he said that he DID like. Soon I was told to eat her pussy, which I, of course, complied. I really, surprisingly to myself, enjoy it. I especially enjoy it if the recipient is showing that she likes it. As soon as my mouth covered her clit and surrounding area, she started making noises and before a few minutes were up, she came. Wow! I love that feeling of success that I feel! A little later, I made her cum with my mouth again. She screamed that time. My Master fucked her and Ben fucked me – hard. I also sucked his cock, gagging several times while he moaned his pleasure. On and on we went for quite some time. Finally, my Master needed me to pay attention to his cock. I happily went to him and sucked his cock and soon he was fucking me, smacking my pussy and tits and his huge cock in my pussy was so welcome and it hurt like a m_______. He was thrusting really hard into me from the edge of the bed and I was yelling, Ow, upon each thrust. After a time, he switched it up a bit and positioned himself so that he was entering me a little more easily. Oh, how I LOVE his cock! mmmmmmmm…

The entire encounter with Ben and Beatrice was pleasant and fun! I made Beatrice cum twice, but I’m not sure that she came at any other time during the night, not even when her husband was banging her in the pussy and in the ass and choking her a bit upon her request. I know my Master came twice. I’m not sure if Ben came? He was semi-hard on and off all night. I didn’t make him cum when I sucked him, which disappointed me. 😦 I thought it was strange that he didn’t cum all night? hmmm…oh, well, I shouldn’t say that at all, because I never came either! LOL I never cum when we play, though. I take a long time to cum. Nevertheless…I think a good time was had by all. They wrote an email the next morning to say that they enjoyed us and hope we can hook up again. Not sure if we will, though, because I don’t think my Master was terribly attracted to the female. On the other hand, I know he enjoyed me. That for me, was the BEST part of all!

Friday Night with “Alex”

Of course that is not his REAL name. My Master set up a date for us to meet up with Alex to play. He was described as a young man who was submissive and bisexual. We were to meet near his place. I was very nervous. We parked the car and Master came around to my side of the car and opened the door. I stepped out and held His hand as we walked toward the meeting destination.

Alex was VERY tall. He was 6’6″ with blond wavy, just below the chin length hair. He wore wire glasses and looked like a quiet intellectual. My Master greeted him and we followed him on foot to his place. It was very small. The place was filled with a warm ambience– with a candle burning and Pandora playing on his large computer screen. We sat down on his couch with him, chatted briefly and my Master told me to let him have a look. I stood up in front of Alex and slowly turned, feeling quite a flush come over me. I was embarrassed at being in the spotlight. Then my Master told me to let him have a BETTER look. So I slowly removed my pants, my shirt, and my bra and socks. I was commando tonight. I looked at Alex and he was so nervous and shy, I could see that. I smiled at him, but he only smiled briefly back. But his eyes didn’t leave my body, so I think he was pleased. Then my Master told him that it was his turn. He got up and removed his clothing very nervously, revealing a very trim, slim build and a very black hairy chest. I didn’t think it matched his blond head hair and hairless face. He also revealed no erection. I wondered at this. Was he too nervous for an erection? Was my body not a turn on for him? Was he more interested in my Master?

My Master then told me to make him feel more comfortable. I went over to him and planted a couple of kisses on his chest and let my hands roam across his shoulders, chest, and back. I noticed stubble on his back and thought, wow, he must really be hairy. And then I wondered if he had someone help him to shave his back or what? I started thinking, why shave your back? I am thinking, either embrace your hairy back or have it waxed. I personally love hairy chest and body, but I prefer to suck a shaved cock. Alex’s cock and balls were shaved. My breasts were very much at cock level. I rubbed my little tits across his now hard cock. I let my hands wander down his body to his genitals and then I kneeled and began to suck his cock and balls. His cock and balls were much smaller than my Masters. He seemed to enjoy my work. I sucked him more and soon my Master instructed me get out a condom, open the package and give it to Alex. My master directed me to fuck him and I continued to suck and fuck him.

Throughout the next couple hours, I continued to follow Masters instructions. After some time, Alex really began to wear out and I think he was having trouble keeping an erection by now. So my Master decided it was time to end the play. My Master asked him how many orgasms he had and he said three. Then he said multiple. I was very surprised to hear that because I hadn’t tasted any cum at any time during our sex. I also didn’t notice any cum in the first condom which I was told to throw away.

My Master did not undress, nor attempt at all to join in for most of the time. That, of course, was his prerogative. He said he enjoyed watching us. At one point, he did start fucking me while I sucked Alex’s cock. Later my Master said that he enjoyed watching. He told me that I looked so tiny next to this giant. His little girl! He told me I was a good girl for doing as he asked.

We said our goodbyes, thanking each other for a wonderful time and then Alex gave my Master an email in which to get in touch again. I AM a good girl indeed.

Play Tonight?

I’m once again nervous at the prospect of my Master taking me out for us to have fun. What does that mean? Right now, for us, it means that he is looking for us to have sex in some capacity with someone or some other couple. Recently he has been trying to set us up with another bi individual to play with. Once was a disaster, but also hilariously funny. The other didn’t work out because of location. Tonight we have plans to meet a bi submissive male. I’m very nervous because we have never played with a bi male. I don’t know if there will be any Bdsm play. All I do know is that I am nervous, but less so with two glasses of wine. And I also know that I am eager to please my Master. I hope I don’t disappoint him. I hope I make him proud. Details soon.

What are the pros and cons of sharing your Master? – A blog post dictated by my Master.

My last post on this subject said that I was going to post the answer on tomorrow after I had thought about it. Needless to say, I continued to think about it. I’ve also been busy and not taken the time to write because I was sick with a bad cold for a week and then spent a week trying to catch up at work. But, my Master reminded me that I had better get busy with the posts, and my other chores, because the week is sliding by.
The pros and cons of sharing my Master. Where to start on this post? First background information. I have always known that my Master would love to have 2 or maybe 3 submissives. We talked about it way at the beginning of our getting to know each other phase. I remember telling him that I didn’t know if I could handle that – not being the ONLY one. He told me that he would never add someone until I was ready. Well, I thought, I will NEVER be ready, so I guess I don’t need to worry about that! As time progressed, I always knew that some of my Master’s great fantasies included other women. Before I met my Master, I had never had any kind of sexual experience with another woman. And then, gradually, gradually, over the time we have been together, I guess he (My Master) has really slowly put his plan into action. He’s so good, you know, that I never really saw it coming. But all that is another, or several other posts.
I think I will use the initials of PLAYING WITH OTHERS to help me discuss the PROS of this issue. I’m sure that I could think of a million things, both pro and con, but I’m going to go with this, I think.
PRO P – Being submissive, I really, really want to PLEASE my Master. Since I know that he wants to have other pussy, other than my own, then sharing my Master would definitely be a way to please him. It is quite amazing to myself to realize that I really and truly grow deeper into submission all the time, which shows itself to me in different ways, but one most significant is that I want to please him more and more as time goes by. He makes me want to, I think.
PRO L – I LOVE my Master and I know that he LOVES me. Because of this, I know that he would never do anything to break my trust in him. He promised long ago to take care of his precious treasure and so far he has kept his word and been the most awesome of all Masters, not to mention most awesome guy of all!
PRO A – APPEAL – There really is an appeal to this for me, too. I love sex, what can I say. And my Master says that he doesn’t want other sex without me. So if I can be involved, in some way, in all sex, even with another? Then it’s win/win for me, right?
PRO Y – YOURS – I’m his. enough said.
PRO I – INCREASED self-confidence with my abilities. When I please my Master, my self-confidence improves. When I submit to sex with another man or woman, per my Master, if I do a good job, as in I give an awesome blowjob, or eat some pussy to make some other girl happy, then my own self-confidence improves! After meeting up with another couple to have sex, and they want to meet again, I know that part of it is because my Master is really good, but also, I know that I have appeal, too. That’s especially nice when I hear compliments from the other couple to tell me that I have done a good job.
PRO N – NEW – new things are often fun and exciting!
PRO G – GOING OUT – Getting dressed up to go out and play is like going on a date with someone new as well as with your best friend! I love to get dressed up and go out. And I’m not talking about dressing up in BDSM gear, although, that sounds like it would be fun! I’m just talking about the anticipation of going out on a Friday or Saturday night, dressing up and looking good, or trying to look good. It’s a lot of fun!
PRO W – WIN/WIN – If I get to have fun, and at the same time, so does my Master, then it really is a win/win!
PRO I – INCREASED SELF-CONFIDENCE with my appearance. When I’m told by my Master that I am desirable, it is soo incredibly awesome. It is definitely multiplied when someone else confirms it. It makes me feel really good, when someone that I sucked off, tells my husband that it is the BEST blowjob that they’ve ever had! WOW! That really is a confidence booster! And if they talk about remembering their hands in my soft hair? Well, you KNOW that makes me want to go buy conditioner rather than the 2 in 1 shampoo/conditioner? Right??
PRO T – Man, if you can trust your guy to have sex with another woman and STILL want you the best? Then, really, REALLY you must have TRUST.
PRO H – HANGUPS – honestly, some hangups go out the window. Like how, for example? Well, I’m, shall we say, not in my 20’s. And if a 20 year old wants to fuck me, then I’m suddenly a MILF! That hangup? ….out the window!
PRO O – OTHERS?- actually, there can be a lot of fun in others… as I’ve had the pleasure of experiencing, due to my Master!
PRO T – TAKEN – Doesn’t that word just make you wet? Well, it does me. I love the thought of being MADE to submit. But, only because I have such trust in my Master. It’s taken me awhile to see what others meant when they said that. I mostly didn’t believe it. Time changes things, however.
PRO E – EXCITING – It really is exciting to go out with someone new. Remember the feeling? If you are in a stable relationship and have been for awhile, then you know remember how exciting it can be to date. It also is a drag to go home and wonder and wonder about where you stand and what the future holds. But if you already have that stability and yet can still have exciting times together with new experiences…it is simply awesome!
PRO R – REAL LIFE – After going out for a kinky night of fun, you then have to get to real life – back to job, maybe kids, your same old, same old. But if you can reminisce in your real life about how much fun you had, what you did and didn’t like about your last date with others, it can be enhancing! I say that because, my Master and I have had some awesome sex AFTER we came back from dates!
PRO S – SEX – And really, how can I resist that…especially if I must!

And now, the CONS, which are basically FEARS:
CON P – Fear of PHYSICAL PAIN – Being into BDSM and knowing there is a broad range of SM, I fear getting hurt. Not to get me wrong, I do like some pain. More than I used to think that I did. But I also don’t want to be seriously hurt, nor damaged. And I have an extremely sensitive clit, so direct stimulation can be painful. This is a real fear, if you are restrained. HOWEVER, my Master has done a very good job of protecting me when I’ve been with others (which has really not been that many experiences). He is very good at talking and getting into specifics before we play and to date we have played with more who were not into BDSM and none who were actually into s&m. For to me to submit to sex with others is me being dominated by him, so this kink can be satisfied without having for me to being submitted to another master or mistress.
CON L – LOSING love, affection, time together – another fear – that I might lose my Master’s love or affection to another. Again, he has stated that he doesn’t want sex without me, but I still have that fear.
CON A – AFFECTION for another – basically jealousy. Seeing my Master show affection to another can have conflicting emotions. On the one hand, I am often happy to see him show affection to someone because I know that it makes them feel good, just like I like it when I receive affection from someone else. But, still, the pangs of jealousy attack. And I’m also aware that this is a plus for my Master because he likes to see me a little jealous.
CON Y – YEARS from now – how will that play out? I fear this future because I am in my late 40’s now and age is not pretty. Men usually are able to “have” younger counterparts because it is socially and culturally acceptable. Older men are seen as distinguished and good looking when bald and/or gray. I myself am attracted to all kinds, including bald and gray. The funny thing is – my Master is SEVERAL years younger than me. Someday, it will be quite a bit more noticeable than it is now. Look at Hugh Heffner, the playboy mansion owner and mogul. Not only is he still considered sexy, but he has tons and tons of young girlfriends and has continued to marry over the years! There is no female counterpart in the business of sex.
CON I – ILLNESS – I am totally not interested in getting a transmittable disease or virus. ugh…enough said. That is the advantage of playing with couples, I think.
CON N – NEAR OR FAR – Sometimes we have gone to play with others quite some distance away. This is safer as far as the likelihood of meeting a coworker or something. Because I AM in the closet about my kinks. But driving far away to meet up with others is a pain, no doubt.
CON G – GAG – ok, so I have a gag reflex. I have been told that I give awesome blowjobs. I like that. I fear I may come upon more or less a rival that might not have a gag reflex and again, jealousy! Sometimes, I think that being able to give awesome head is a plus for me even if I feel bad about myself for other reasons. I really don’t want that taken away, but inevitably, playing with others will lend itself to eventually meeting someone with great ability also, or maybe even better.
CON W – WAKING to find something to make me jealous. So far in our play, we have only played for an evening. We have not spent the night anywhere. I know my Master has talked about getting a sub to live in. One that would be a girlfriend for me and a girlfriend for him, so to speak. I don’t know how that would EVER work out, because honestly I can’t see somebody wanting a place like that, but I guess there must be out there somewhere. But, in any case, we have often discussed, because I have asked, how certain things would work in his envisioning. We have discussed how a live-in sub would work – kind of like a roommate. I’ve asked about sleeping arrangements. He has talked about having a sub on each side of him. We used to have a king-sized bed, so that might have worked, I guess, but then I’ve often wondered how I would feel if I woke to see the two of them caressing or having sex? Or waking to see the two of them asleep, but with arms around each other or something else exclusionary. I know my Master tries to alleviate my fears, but jealousy is there.
CON I – INDIFFERENCE – Another fear. What if my Master started to see me with indifference? Or what if the other sub saw me indifferently? jealousy.
CON T – TEASING – My Master likes to tease me. It is true. However, sometimes teasing can be unknowingly hurtful or just to the right of jealousy.
CON H – HUMILIATE – I know that my Master actually enjoys some humiliation of me. And I also know that he refrains because he does not want to hurt me. I can appreciate this venue of domination. I’m afraid, as jealousy once again rears it’s ugly head, that humiliation might become more prominent and perhaps might even come from another sub geared toward me. I’m not sure how I feel about that. I might even enjoy it, because of the vulnerability factor, the smallness feeling factor. But, I also know that my Master thinks of me as his treasure, so I know that he loves me despite a humiliating scene. I’m not sure about another sub. Or what if the other sub started receiving what I thought should be for me?
CON O – ORGASMS – You would think that this would be in the pro section. Here is the thing. I take a very long time to reach orgasm. On the one hand, it makes for awesome orgasms. On the other hand, I’m jealous of those that reach it so easily, even if it only appears to be a small orgasm. What if in playing with others, I see that happening and become extremely jealous. I guess in this particular instance, I am thinking of a long-term second sub, because when we play with others, I do not usually come, even though I enjoy myself. I do love to see others come. I just don’t know how I would feel if there was a live in sub who was constantly “outdoing” me, so to speak.
CON T – TEMPER – I often get on my Master’s nerves. I don’t like it when I make him lose his temper. He is never violent or anything. It just makes me feel so bad. I worry that all my insecurities will wear on him and then he might be likely to lose his temper.
CON H – HEARING – One time, when we were playing with others, I kept hearing my Master talking about how awesome this woman was that he was fucking. I did have a good time, but felt uneasy and very, very jealous. Come to find out, later, that he was actually talking about me, but I didn’t know. It was one of the first times that we played with another couple and we were all together on one bed and when he said “look at that ass!” and things like that, I thought he was talking about her. I tried to be happy about that, but I was so freaking jealous! He said that he had said a lot of stuff like that to try and show me that he was including me in his sex and even was touching me a lot, but I was not even aware of his touch.
CON E – EXCITEMENT without me. Again, the jealousy issue. I get jealous when even hearing about my Master talking or texting with another. To his credit, he has reassured me that he is just trying to make the other person feel good, as he should.
CON R – RIVAL – I worry about anyone becoming a rival for my Master’s attentions. Sharing is not the same as someone wanting it ALL, so to speak. I, do want it ALL, but am not willing to share it ALL with someone else. I fear that someday, someone will come along, perhaps thinking that they want to be a second sub, but then decide they want it ALL. And what if, at that time, my Master agrees.
CON S – SEX without me. I know, jealousy – the root of most fears!

Well, that wraps it up…my pros and cons of sharing my Master or playing with others. I kind of sense that Sharing my Master might entail more of a second sub aspect, whereas, playing with others, might be more of a play type thing. I tried to cover both aspects. Any thoughts out there?