I’ve been away for some time. The reasons? Well, several. First, I’ve been afraid to express some of my feelings to the world for fear that my Master/Dom would not be happy or be offended etc… This is, of course, because he reads all my blog posts. He was not happy with a blog post that I posted and it just kind of turned me off of blogging. Since then, however, he has remedied this problem by simply asking him to approve the post, first. Easy enough. Then again, however, there has been issues between us. Issues that I’m not sure that he is comfortable sharing with the world. We will see. Rather than just saying, oh, well, no blogging. I have decided to jump in and go with it. If he doesn’t like what I want to post, then I will know, since he has to approve beforehand. And, I feel that I need to express myself. I do have a private blog that I share my feelings on, but not to the world. But I want feedback. I want to connect. It is so hard to connect when you are into BDSM. Another issue that I had was that my blog was attached to my fetlife account. Fetlife sucks most of the time. So, I decided to disconnect from the website. Why? Well, I might want to share something that happened on fetlife and so I don’t want to be targeted, you know? So, I’m back to blogging and eager to get back into some online friendships. Sometimes, being different is lonely, you know?
My Master says that someone he met online is in town and may want to hookup.
Where’s my wine!? Ahhhhh ok. Better now.
Not feeling very good about my body lately. Sigh. I promise. My body is a summer project.
I’m not that much overweight, but I really need to lose 20 pounds.
It’s also scary to hookup with someone my Master desires to fuck because duh…jealousy. Yes it can also be exciting. But THAT determination is unknown yet.
I’ll keep y’all updated.
Submission for me, feels more like submission if I’m submitting to my Master’s desires, even if I’m not sure if I really want to submit to a particular thing, but knowing it will please him to have me to it. ❤️
I recently wrote a post about gaining a second sub. It mostly contained questions and so this post, I thought I’d answer my questions as related to my relationship.
In my own relationship of more than 9 years with my Master, I have always known that my Master wanted more than one sub. I also knew when I met him that he would guide me to the place where I was comfortable with this, because he loved me so much and wanted to keep me as his number one, always.
I also know and respect, that in our relationship, we do not hide things from one another. We all see others that we view as attractive. We can either hide that fact, or we can share it with our partners. I would rather share in this fun, rather than wonder or have it hidden behind my back. My Master says that ALL pleasure comes from me, even pleasure from other women. So, I am involved in the sexual aspects as well as giving him the women that we share, in a sense. He always makes me feel in the number one spot that he has placed me. He lets others know this too and this seals my trust in him. My Master loves variety. And guess what? I do too. It’s so fun that I can never be bored. 😉
So, to the answer the question of Why? To add to our relationship. To serve my Master in many ways.
Will sex be secretive or shared? Most definitely shared. And this is what defines this kind of a poly relationship versus others that I have read about. He doesn’t date someone separately from me. This is a shared relationship.
Will time be separate, shared, or both? In our relationship, we have talked of times shared and separate. Times when all three of us will be together, times when he and she will be together and times when she and I will be together and times when he and I will still maintain our relationship. Sex would not occur without me, however.
Are the subs bi? Yes, most definitely, because playing all three of us together would be enhanced by this, since I am bi.
Is their a hierarchy? And what does that mean? In our relationship, I am the number one submissive and always will be. This means that my and Master’s relationship is primary. However, this does not mean, in our case, that I would be over another sub. I am not Dominant at all and cannot be a switch. So, if someone came along that was a submissive switch, she would be higher than me or over me. My Master would direct her to direct me, if that was his/her wish.
Is the second sub live-in? Is the first? I am the first sub and I am a live-in, 24/7, submissive that is also married to my Master. The second sub might be either. I imagine that we would start dating and see where it led. Ultimately, my Master would like to have his second sub live-in, to be more of a permanent or long-term relationship.
Is it because of wanting a poly household? How will that work? There are many types of poly households that I’ve read about. In our relationship, it would occur as roommates/family, with my Master as head and me and the second sub as sisters/friends. At least that is the goal.
Does the first sub want this also, or is this purely a want of the Dom? I have to admit that it has taken many years for me to actually DESIRE this, rather than just want it because my Master wants it. I have seen the advantages and gotten some tastes here and there of what it might be like. I am secure in my relationship with my Master, so that it actually appears doable. I can’t say that all my jealousies and apprehensions are gone, but I see them lessen and lessen all the time. My trust grows and grows as does my excitement.
Will the sub have input into choosing the second sub? How so? We have tried several different things over the years. I remember at first, we both tried to look online and peruse the net for possible dates in the BDSM lifestyle. But, I became so frustrated and upset and stressed. Why? Because it was so hard. I’m not very flirtatious and don’t often know what to say. So, then we changed it up and my Master did the leading, by searching profiles and sites and initiating conversations. I have all the passwords to all the sites and emails that he uses and I used to obsessively try to keep up. But, actually, that became too stressful, too. And honestly, sometimes, really boring, in that I really have other things to do than to read discussions that have to do with something that I’ve already discussed with my Master the night before. So, now, I believe that we have come up with another way that might work better. My Master continues to search and look and if he finds someone promising, then he tells me that he would like me to pick up into the chat or email. Of course, previous to this, he has already mentioned that he met someone interesting and told me some details and even sent me a few pictures. I think this method seems to work the best and we will see what the future holds. 🙂
If the goal is live-in, will dating come first? Amongst who? I do not see how you could avoid dating first. In our situation, we have met all together casually like for coffee, first. Then we see what comes next. I think that dating would have to occur for a pretty good while before you would want to have a live-in, just as you would in any romantic, live-in arrangement.
Ultimately, is the sub for the Dom’s pleasure or for the sub’s, too? In what ways? In our relationship, the pleasure for the Dom is my main concern, but my Master wants us all to be compatible. Not only that, he wishes for me to have friendship and companionship as well. Which is why, he asks my input and we talk incessantly about it, but his decision is final.
If the sub is live in, will she have her own room or will they all share? In our situation, I don’t think that we have come to a conclusion about this yet. We have talked about both the second sub having her own room and us all sharing. Mostly, we have said that we would all sleep together in one bed.
What is the plan if resentment or jealousy start forming? What is the plan to try and prevent this? The obvious answer to this is open communication. I believe that if it is made clear that my Master and my relationship is primary, then there will be no competition because that spot is already established. I think it will be the Master’s responsibility to make sure that all his subs are feeling taking care of, having their needs met, and addressing problems right away. My Master is very good at communication and though I may not be the best at it, I feel that I have improved over time and I do try my best.
How is a sub sister different or the same as a sister wife in the realm of BDSM? I think of a sister wife more when I think of Mormonism, and in those relationships, the wives share the husband, but the wives are not sexual with each other. I’ve always thought more that subs would be on more of an equal par and in our case a threesome.
Has the subject been a long term one or is the subject new? For us, this subject has been as long term as our relationship has been.
Is the Dom missing something that his current sub cannot or does not provide or is the second sub an addition for enhancement? I believe in our relationship, that the addition of a sub is for enhancement. What I cannot provide, is myself as a clone. LOL
I would love to have the friendship of another sub to share life with. On another note, I have a heart condition and so I sleep more than the average person. My Master, on the other hand, is an insomniac. I imagine that another sub might be able to provide companionship at times I cannot. (I can’t say that I’m not jealous of this aspect, but knowing that sex would not occur without me makes me able to accept this a little better.)
So, this has been a long post. I’ve covered everything that I can currently think of at the moment about adding a second sub. I’m sure that I will have to update this as I find more questions and answers. Anyone have anything else to ponder?
Her Dom wants a second sub?
What do you think of when you read that? I imagine that there are a million different responses, depending, actually, on that person’s own experiences, whether they are experiences that they have experienced themselves or experiences that they have read about.
I think the first time that I heard about it, I was actually intrigued, but also thought, “how could this work? How can they stand it?”.
Another time I might have thought. “Ugh! He doesn’t really love his subs, they are only property”
Now, however, instead of thinking those things, I now have questions instead:
- Will sex be secretive or shared?
- Will time be separate, shared, or both?
- Are the subs bi?
- Is their a hierarchy? And what does that mean?
- Is the second sub live in? Is the first?
- Is it because of wanting a poly household? How will that work?
- Does the first sub want this also, or is this purely a want of the Dom?
- Will the sub have input into choosing the second sub? How so?
- If the goal is live-in, will dating come first? Amongst who?
- Ultimately, is the sub for the Dom’s pleasure or for the sub’s, too? In what ways?
- If the sub is live in, will she have her own room or will they all share?
- What is the plan if resentment or jealousy start forming? What is the plan to try and prevent this?
- How is a sub sister different or the same as a sister wife in the realm of BDSM?
- Has the subject been a long term one or is the subject new?
- Is the Dom missing something that he current sub cannot or does not provide or is the second sub an addition for enhancement?
Any other thoughts or questions to ponder?
Since our last encounter, two things have happened.
1) communication has dwindled between gf and me to nothing in last several days
2) Master has not talked to her at all
I feel like there hasn been any closure on this yet, but that is up to Master. I feel, however, that the threesome is over.
I’m sorry to say that things didn’t work out, but also glad for the experiences. Perhaps next time I will more cautious in my excitement. 🙂
So…. Onto more experiences… Hee hee!
Our new girlfriend came in on a Friday. We introduced her to the dog and surprisingly, it went well. Then we hung out at home the rest of the evening. She is a Disney fanatic, so we watched Frozen. It was good. Other than Disney, though, she doesn’t like to watch movies. Not good at all because my Master is a movie buff. One of our favorite things to do is cuddle up and watch movies. 😒 So as the evening progressed we drank a little and then moved to the bedroom. Master did fuck her this time, but she still never ate my pussy. In bed, she is just not that good in bed. I say this because once she sarts getting excited, she just lays there. She does moan and you can tell she likes it, but she appears incapacitated especially after she cums. Needless to say, I find that a bit disappointing. But we still had fun sex all in all for most of the night. We slept with Master in the middle of our king sized bed. 🙂 The next day, I had a work thing and so my Master and our new gf were going to spend some quality time together. (Not sex wise, however. My Master says that he would not have sex without me, but still, I was a bit jealous. ) I was gone for about 3-4 hours. When I got back, gf proceeded to tell me how they chatted and then fell asleep in each other’s arms. 😳. On the one hand, that drove me insane with jealousy. On the other hand. I knew that the intimacy level did not seem to be at that stage yet. So I was therefore thinking like, really, are you trying to make me jealous or just trying to show that you fit in here.
That night we had reservations for dinner and a Belly Dance Show. I was excited to go to this and since it was in the next town, I was fairly reassured that we could go as a threesome undetected by people we might know from work. It was a fun evening. I enjoyed going out as a threesome. It was fun. Master thought us girls should both sit in back together and I didn’t like that. I didn’t like NOT sitting next to him in front. By this point, I really couldn’t think of much conversation with the gf. I literally had run out of common topics. I was still having fun, but also realizing that I had less and less in common with her. My Master did a wonderful job of paying attention to both of us. I did not at all feel jealous when we were out, and I could tell she thoroughly enjoyed Master’s attentions. That night we drank a little and headed to the bedroom. I was tired, somewhat tired of the gf too. I felt bad about that but it was hard to jump right into a weekend of her after so little time in person versus calling and texting. And honestly, all of a sudden that night I was suddenly unattractd to her. I felt so bad, but I couldn’t help it. The next day it really began to get on my nerves that she literally ate NOTHING! The entire weekend she ate like 1 carrot and a handful of wheat thins and a poptart. Seriously???? Anyway I was ready for her to leave. We decided to nap and Master had us both suck and lick his cock and then he fucked us both. Of course I enjoyed being fucked by Master but I was silently pleading for him NOT to make me eat her pussy. I felt bad that I felt that way but I had just gotten turned off and I couldnt get turned back on.
Gf finally headed home that afternoon and Master and I could talk. Turns out he, too, was ready for her to leave. Not sure if this threesome was going to last…
After our evening out, playtime at the hotel, and then home for us, the next day we went out for breakfast and chatted and said goodbye. She then returned to her home which was a few hours away. We returned to our home and chatted. We seemed to like her pretty good but I still wondered if things had gone too fast.
We continued to text and call over the next couple weeks and then planned to get together for an entire weekend where she would stay at our home and sleep in our bed. So now I was a little bit more nervous. This time there would be no alone time for just me and my Master to talk. Jealousy also might peek it’s head out from under the blanket, I feared. Nevertheless I thought it would be so fun! A contraindication of thoughts and feelings abounded! Now… To wait for the upcoming weekend…
Our new future girlfriend lived about 2-3 hours away. She came to our town and met us at Starbucks. As we drove up to the coffee shop, I saw her sitting at an outside table reading a book. Seeing her sitting there made me very excited! But I also saw right away that her body type was not exactly going to be a plus for my Master. My preferred body type for man or woman is bigger than me with the woman having bigger boobs than I have. I’m more attracted to personality than body type, I think. My Master wanted someone who I would be excited about and so even though his preferred body type is smaller with small boobs, he was interested in her for her attitude. When I first saw her, I was a little let down because I worried about my Master not being as attracted to her as I was. I guess when you are going to share a girlfriend, then you have these issues.
So we sat down and chatted a bit and then we led her to the hotel that my Master had reserved a room in for her. We left her to freshen up while we went home for a bit to get ready for dinner out. We had a nice dinner with nice small talk and then we went back to her hotel. We had a great evening of sex with both me and my Master lavishing attention on her and eating her pussy, fingering her, sucking her nipples and breasts, and making her cum a lot. My Master fucked me and fucked me! I loved it. Interestingly, he did not fuck her. And she did not eat my pussy at all. My Master got us both on our knees and asked her if she wanted to be his second submissive and a sister sub to me. She said yes. I was excited. But, … were things moving too fast???
How did it happen?
I’ve often commented how someday my Master wanted a second sub, eventually a live-in. He’s been searching on and off, sometimes with more vigor than other times. When he comes across someone with potential, he tells me about her and asks me what I think. Often I will chat with them and of course he does too.
He recently came across a young girl (of age, of course), who was looking for exactly what we were. She was college aged, interested in our kinks, had been in a bdsm relationship before and was also career oriented. She was sexy from the pics that I saw, though she didn’t show much body. We chatted for a short time and my Master texted her and talked to her a lot. It seemed we had a ton in common.
It soon became clear that we should meet. ….