Seven Most Common Types Of Submissive’s. What are you?

I’ve asked my Master to tell me what kind of submissive that he thinks I am. 😉

thekinkyworldofvile

I ran across this article on Tumbler , Hmm I forgot I even had an account there. Southernbarbie asked me to post about a Brat, which I think fits her really well.

What this article did not cover in the Brat section was, most brats when around other females are usually pretty rude, they can be somewhat cold, and short to the point. The brat needs to be the center of attention. Most times a brat is hard to control, but can be tamed with the right partner, but at times she can still be somewhat defiant, stubborn, and if she has any rules, she does not think twice about breaking one. The brat worries about the consequences at a later date. Most of the time the brat thinks she can talk her way out of trouble.

With the right partner she can however be controlled, when in the company…

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Am I sexy without sex?

That question came from a blog post by Hyacinth in her blog A Dissolute Life.  As I read a particular part of the post (entitled, “It’s Beautiful Out There”), I felt a connection.  I wanted to write a post.  Hyacinth said,  –

“When sex began to wane between me and TN I knew it was a red flag — who couldn’t think that?  But he denied it and excused it and I was left to wrestle with the question on my own, “Am I sexy if I’m not having sex?”  It’s why I started my Instagram account.  I needed more feedback and then I realized I didn’t need it anymore.  I am sexy with or without the sex.”

I replied in a comment on her blog as to how she came to that conclusion.  I need help to come to the same conclusion.  Since our sex life has become somewhat of a valley, rather than a peak, I cannot help but ask that same question of myself on a daily basis.  I do get feedback from my Dom.  C. often tells me that I look good and often looks at me naked and is very affectionate.  But…..  And he tells me that it is not because I am getting older or that I have gained a few pounds.  But, as Hyacinth says, How can I NOT think that anyway?  In addition, I then feel a bit more jealousy than usual plaguing my mind.

Perhaps I need more feedback, too.  Perhaps I should start an instagram account??  I don’t know.  Perhaps I just need more sex.  But, how to make that happen.  LOL  It’s much harder for a girl, I think.    But that’s another post.

I know sex should not define a person or make them feel better about themselves and so on.  But why not?  Being desired sexually, makes us all feel so wonderful, so happy in our skin, so satisfied.  Perhaps, a person says they desire you, but if it doesn’t come to fruition as often as it once did, then what is the conclusion?  How do you figure it out?  How do you change the feeling of “If I’m not having sex, then I must not be sexy?”

hispreciouspet

Thank-you WildWestAngel for your post – Small Talk

Please read the following post:

http://wildwestangel.wordpress.com/2014/11/23/small-talk/

Wildwestangel, Thank-you for your post!  I had to address this with a post of my own,  because so much of it sounds EXACTLY like me.  In fact, my Master and I have had recent discussions about my need for friendship.  Ugh!

Coincidentally, I am also a strong professional woman.  I’m not all that assertive, but I do have two assistants, so I am definitely an order giver to an extent, when at work, but have to change that mode when I get home.

You mentioned that you called one of your subbie friends.  Well, I don’t have any subbie friends.  I’ve craved having a friend that I could talk openly with about my life.  My Master has encouraged to me to get online and search around and that is some of the reason that I started this blog long ago.  I don’t have really close vanilla friends, either.  I keep telling my Master that I really don’t have time for friends.  And it is true.  I’m not a good friend.  L  I want to be.  But I fail.

Opportunities arise all the time from other vanilla women, mostly work or old friends – Let’s get together.  Let’s talk on the phone.  Wait, talk on the phone? I hate to talk on the phone.  I know.  I’m not normal   I don’t have time for that!  Especially if we are not going to talk about BDSM at all.   !  I am so happy that texting is considered ok etiquette now because that is the way I prefer to talk- quickly, to the point, and if I don’t text back for awhile it is because I got busy and I’ll get back to you when I can, ok?

Maybe it is because it is hard to have an honest, true, sharing relationship with someone who is vanilla, because you are NOT sharing SO much.  I mean, my BDSM is a huge part, the driving part, of my life.  How can I feel like sharing about the mundane things when I REALLY want to talk about the BDSM aspect.   I enjoy WordPress and other blogs, because even though I have not developed any subbie friends as of yet, I still feel that I connect when I’m able to read and relate to other’s posts.  So, thank-you, Wildwestangel!  J

How to Feel Submissive Day to Day

A post, I recently read, hit home with some of my recent thoughts, so I thought I’d share them.

Living a 24/7 Dom/sub or Master/slave relationship is not ALL about being spanked and serving. Life really does have to occur in tandem. How do you make it all work? How do you continue real life, real family, real jobs, but yet still have a real D/s 24/7 relationship? Do you turn off your submissive or Domness until you have time for a longy in private in the bedroom?

Actually, some people do just that. They may have a “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” on the side whom they “play” with every other weekend. And on these weekends, they do it ALL. They have a way to get away from the rest of the world and fulfill the need of being Dom and sub in a total way. And when the weekend or night is over, they go back to their regular lives. Maybe they text and call each other so as to keep the momentum, but then LIVE for the time when they can get back together. …. Been there, done that.

But what about for those who live it 24/7? AND live together 24/7? And by the way, they are different.

Living together and living 24/7 as Dom/sub or as Master/slave is a careful mix of the mundane and the mind-blowing. But, how does it REALLY work? Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, it should be a “work-in-progress”. If it really is, then learning how to mix the two will become easier and easier. I feel this to be soo true in my relationship with my Master. We have been together a long time. We became Dom/sub before our real life 24/7 living together (as husband and wife) and now have been married for more than 8 years. The D/s, though 24/7 ebbs and flows. But as the years go by, we grow closer and become more and more engrained in the D/s life and learn more and more how to make it work.

What does it mean to “make it work”? It simply means that both parties are on the same page, want the same thing, and are working to be more and more happy and satisfied. How do you do that? How does it happen? How do you “make it work”, then?

The number one things is communication. I know, I know. You always hear that. You know what? I USED to think that I was an awesome communicator. I knew all the tips and tricks and rules of how to be a good communicator. (“I hear you saying that…”) But when I married my Master, I quickly learned that I was, in fact, NOT a good communicator. SIGH….And I’m not saying that he was the best, either, but we won’t go there. Over the years, we have become better and better at communicating. It really is impressive. How did we do it? Well, really, not by reading books and going to lectures. But, instead, just by sheer talk. LOTS and LOTS and LOTS of it. We actually spend an enormous amount of time together. Really, it would make you sick. LOL And then there was the six months where we literally were commuting for literally hours a day and we, yes, you guessed it, TALKED.

One of our common subject topics was how to better our D/s relationship. We talked about what we wished we had and tried to find ways to work toward that. That is why I am often posting new and updated rules. We are trying new things or have gotten sidetracked and we are getting back on track again. Although I have not posted very much the last little bit, our relationship is on the fast track – hot and heavy and we are both loving it! It’s awesome!

We still have the mundane problems of life to deal with on a daily basis – like jobs, family, housekeeping, pets, cars, bills and so forth. The key is how to work in the mindblowing so that the mundane is not more than 50% of your day. 😉

For me, as the submissive, I need and crave feeling submissive. I need a constant stream of those things coming at me to make me feel submissive and so we work to make sure that I feel it. In return, I think that my Master feels more Dominant and thus also, more fulfilled.

How does it work in our life?…..hmmmm….let’s see. I recently read a post where a submissive was describing her weekly activities and how it portrayed her submissiveness. I also have my list – as follows:

-Each morning I arise before my Master and shower and shave.
-I then make his espresso in a special pot just the way he likes it in one of his special cups. I pour it into the cup very, very slowly so it cools some and then I add milk.
-Before I serve him the espresso, I suck and lick his cock until he tells me to give him his coffee.
-I serve it to him with handle turned the correct way.
-I pick my own clothing for work. He picks all my clothing for other than work. (I sleep naked.)
-Everyday, I ask which perfume I should wear. I have several perfumes and he changes daily.
-During the day, I text him and we have specific rules of when I am to text him.
-I must ask before going anywhere. Usually, he drives me to and from.
-I must ask for anything I desire. If granted, he buys. He controls all money. He does all shopping.
-I also serve him coffee after naps or any other time that he requests.
-If he finds a girl attractive, or chats with any other girls he lets me know.
-He tells me if he makes himself cum, while talking to someone else. Often, I’m at home and I suck his cock or fuck him as he talks to other girls. (This is a kink for both of us.)
-We have a girlfriend and we both text her and call her often and she comes to spend time with us, too.
-I say, yes Sir and no Sir in private and now are branching out a bit to saying it more often and not necessarily just in private.
-I get in trouble if I disobey.
-I’m SUPPOSED to ask before bathroom, shower, computer, book, etc. I do sometimes forget to ask before I go to the bathroom, because I have to pee a lot! LOL no that’s not a good excuse.
-I’m SUPPOSED to keep the calendar up to date.
-I’m SUPPOSED to lay out work clothes the night before and let him know when i have.
-I’m SUPPOSED to go to bed by 10pm on worknights and start getting ready at 9pm.
-I’m SUPPOSED to send him a pic of some kind each day. It can be me naked or someone else naked or just a normal pic if I’m not feeling it. To please him, though, I always try to send him something to turn him on.
-I’m SUPPOSED to go to the gym 5 days per week unless I ask first.
-I’m SUPPOSED to keep the bathroom clean – except the toilet.
-Of course, I also do as I’m told sexually at all times. And this is often during the week and sometimes more than once a day. 🙂

Okay, so I’m not perfect, but as you can see, we have a lot going on daily to try and keep me feeling submissive. It’s definitely more mind-blowing for me, than mundane!

30 Days of Submission

Not sure where I found this – 30 DAYS OF SUBMISSION.  But, I LOVE questionnaires and 30 Days of Submission questions seems perfect to start right now!

I am trying to turn over a new leaf, as it is Fall and it seems the perfect time, don’t you think.  Actually, my Master and I are both on a mission to improve our relationship.  We are 24/7, husband and wife, met online, dated, married, and have  a real life, job, kids (though teens), parents to help out and so forth.  So, we don’t live in a cocoon and as often happens in long-term relationships, we have somewhat neglected ours.  But, upward and onward to change that.

I also have never felt like I was near enough deep enough into the BDSM lifestyle as I would like to be and I know my Master feels the same.  So I plan to attempt some real changes in my life.  (Which reminds me, I better review my rules.)

So, to all you submissives…please join me!!!

30 days of kink – #1

Day 1: Dom, sub, switch? What parts of BDSM interest you? Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.

For me – I am totally a submissive. Actually 100% according to the latest survey. I totally love being told what to do and the more forcefully told, the more I love it and the wetter it makes me.