Master Being Mysterious Turns into Humiliation for me

Sorry that I’m just now getting back to the mysterious night. After I was teased into thinking I might be punished by being fucked by multiple guys, and then finding out it was all just a tease, my Master still had other plans that I didn’t know about.

We sat down to watch some TV and my Master suddenly texted me a number and said, ” Text Lydia and ask her for permission to suck my cock later.” I was like, “what?”

Let me explain who Lydia was. Lydia was someone that I really didn’t know. My Master had found her online and had recently started chatting it up with her. I had never talked or texted her. But, I knew that he was chatting a bit with her and he had told me a thing or two about her. This was a commonplace thing in our life. But telling me to do this task? This was not something that I had done before! I was embarrassed and reluctant. What if she cussed me out or something. Did she know about this ahead of time? I couldn’t even concentrate on the movie because I was slightly mortified. But, I did as my Master requested and texted her. She responded back with, “Yes, you have my permission”. I said, “TY” and she said “You’re welcome.”

So, later, we go to the bedroom and he tells me to get undressed and lay across his lap where he then proceeds to smack my bottom while admonishing me for disobeying him and humiliating me more by talking about how I had to ask for permission to suck his cock. He lets me suck his cock and then fuck him, all the while telling me that he should put me in the corner and force me to listen to him fuck Lydia.

That would be sooo humiliating. I feel my face getting red just thinking about it. And the thought of being humiliated, and my face being red and having no control over the situation like that, makes me feel so submissive that I feel hot and my pussy tingles a bit.

What confusing feelings!

Can anyone relate?

Eager Beaver

According to Merriam Webster, an eager beaver is

a person who is extremely zealous about performing duties and volunteering for more

Okay, well, I guess, then I am an “eager beaver”. Our sex life has been on the downhill recently. I can’t quite figure it out. But, I have a feeling that is on the uphill. hee hee. And I’m an eager beaver, yes, yes, I am. 😉

12 Days of BDSM Christmas to my Master!!!!!

I am soooo excited that I have finally finished my 12 days of BDSM Christmas for Master! I had been trying to think of something to give him for Christmas that didn’t cost that much or that cost nothing because we are very short of money this holiday and even had to cancel our traveling plans because of some unexpected expenses. Ahhh, but that is life! So, to make it a wonderful holiday, anyway, I needed to think of something to add to my commitment to make the holiday special despite the recent change in plans. We will be home together for nearly 2 weeks. I have vacation and he works from home. So…..

I wanted to come up with 12 Love Coupons! I looked around on the internet, but mostly what I found was “printable” coupons. I didn’t want those. First off, we don’t have a printer handy. And second of all, we have a son, though he is an adult, I still prefer to keep our sex lives semi-private. Therefore, I didn’t want stray coupons hanging around, especially with specific BDSM activities on them!!

Lo and behold, I came across an awesome iphone app:
It’s called Love Voucher Coupon Designer
You can find it here: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/love-voucher-coupons-designer/id604689293?mt=8
Or you can look in the app store for the name. It’s free, but to add sexy designs, the cost is $1.99.

I almost forgot one of the cool things about this app!!!!  So, you send the “coupon” as a pic, in an email, or as I did, to my Master’s messages on his phone.  He can then “redeem” the coupons by bringing up the coupon from his pics and then I can go to the scan portion of the app on my phone and scan the coupon.  On my app, it will show that the coupon was redeemed by showing a heart.  🙂  So cool!!!!

I have to say, that it is really cool! Ready to view my 12 Days of BDSM Christmas to my Master? Here we go!!!

30 Days of Kink (Second Time Around): Day 1 – Dominant, submissive, or switch?

DAY 1: YOU… Dominant, submissive or switch? List the parts of BDSM that get your juices flowing, what interests you the most? Basically define your kinky nature.

Three years ago, I said:

For me – I am totally a submissive. Actually 100% according to the latest survey. I totally love being told what to do and the more forcefully told, the more I love it and the wetter it makes me.

Two and one-half years ago, I said:

I am most definitely a sub.  In all areas of my life except….my career, and with my kids, but with my Master, who is also my husband, I am submissive.  I crave it, love it, need it, want it, and it turns me on…I desire it!  I am totally interested in serving my Master as well as being on the receiving end of Domination including pain – ie- spanking, some humiliation, and many other kinks that go with the lifestyle.  We live a 24/7 lifestyle as we can while still living our lives with families and career, etc..

Note: I am no longer a leader with my children. They are all grown and only one lives at home, though he is 21.

And now:

I am definitely a submissive. I am not a leader in most situations, although at work, I am. LOL I’ve heard that this is common among submissives. But even in the work place I have two assistants under me, but many more are higher than me on the totem pole. And, in talking about submissiveness and my own life, if/when we add another, or more submissives to our lives, I will not top them or be over them. I would be at the bottom of the totem pole except in my Master’s eyes, where I am his number 1.

I crave being told what to do. I think I have struggled my whole life with decision making. It has been a major problem in my life. I have gotten better as the years have passed, but I still struggle. I don’t usually struggle with major issues like what I feel is right or wrong, but more minor issues such as what should I buy? I like rules and rituals and I like the part of submissiveness that lets me be taken care of and my serving in return. My Master being stern with me gets me hot unless he is admonishing me. I like some humiliation. I like some pain. Most of all, I love to see my Master pleased, turned on, by me or with my help. 🙂

My Master’s Bath

As soon as my Master informed me that he wanted me to bathe him, I was super excited!  First, I quickly ran to my computer to look up any sexy tips on giving a man a bath.  I read a few pages worth of google results and then started to assemble my tools.  But, first, I needed a refill on my eggnog!  Hee hee, this was going to be so fun!

Now, we don’t have a large bathroom.  In fact, it is smaller than our previous bathroom, but it has a tub in it, which we hadn’t had.  My intent was to turn our little bathroom into a serenity spa to induce relaxation and comfort, with hopefully a “happy ending”.  😉

My tools –

  • Iphone dock with speakers
  • Iphone with Pandora app
  • Incense
  • Multiple candles
  • Lighter
  • 2 towels
  • Washcloth
  • Scented bath/shampoo wash (Old Spice)
  • Bubble bath – unscented
  • Small bowl with 2 TB olive oil
  • Cup
  • Glass of rum for Master
  • His robe
  • Black negligée and black thongs
  • My robe

Ok, tools collected.  Now to prepare the bathroom. My bathroom was already sparkling clean, so on for decorating.   I turned on the heat, plugged in the iphone speaker dock, and arranged the tea light candles.  The tub has crevices for shampoos and the like, so I put one in each of the crevices – 6.  Then I placed a decorative plate onto the toilet seat with 9 little candles around and a large candle in the middle.  I then laid out the washcloth and put the towels in the microwave for 1 minute.  I got my bowl of oil and put it beside the tub.  I hung his robe on the hook and then poured him a glass of rum which I put on the sink.  I turned the Pandora station to Love Songs and muted it for now.  Then I dressed into my sexy black negligee and black thongs and put on my robe.  I started running the bath and put in the bubbles.  Then I lit the incense stick and lit all the candles -16 in all, and turned out the lights – PERFECT!  Damn!  I should have taken a pic! Ok, next time. Then I went to the bedroom and asked my Master if he was ready for me to bathe him.  (Mind you, I would NOT be joining him in the bath.  I had bathed earlier and this was all about him.)  He said he was.  I downed the rest of my third glass of eggnog and rum, and so it began!

First I removed my robe, displaying my sexy self to him.  He smiled in appreciation.  I then removed all of his clothing and handed him his robe to put on.  (Now that I think about it, I should have walked behind him and put it on for him.  Ok, next time.) Then I led him into the bathroom where I unmuted the love songs station and took his robe and hung it up.  He stepped in and I asked him how the water was.  He said fine and I continued to let the water run in, while he sunk into the bath, reclining back, and then I handed him his rum.  I knelt beside the tub and began to slowly squeeze the water from the washcloth lovingly over his body to wet him all down.  I turned off the water and asked him to sit up first, so I could wash his hair.  I wet his hair and then soaped his scalp and massaged his scalp slowly and gently.  Then I rinsed and gave him a warm wet towel around his head and neck and he reclined back again.  Next, on to his beard.  I LOVE his beard.  I love facial hair on a guy.  After rinsing, I started on the rest of him, soaping up every gorgeous part of him and rinsing him off, while he just relaxed and sipped his rum. It was sooo incredibly romantic as I listened to the love songs and gazed into his eyes.  He gazed back and I thought how much I loved him so.   I soaped and washed his cock and ass next and then I leaned over and sucked his cock a bit.  Then I asked him if I could massage his feet.  He said yes and so, one at a time, I took his feet and massaged olive oil into them all around his toes, balls of his feet and heels and I really tried to concentrate on massaging his arches.  I think he enjoyed himself.  I then sucked some more on his cock, but he wanted to get out and go to the bedroom first, so I dried him off thoroughly with the other warm, dry towel and then he put his robe on and we went to the bedroom.  I got up on the bed, kneeling between his legs and sucked and licked and fondled his cock until he rewarded me finally with sweet cum. MMmmmmmmm!!!!

One awesome, romantic evening, indeed!

New Blog Theme

For the past few days, I’ve been playing around with different blog press themes and trying to find something that I like better.  I think I like this one.  What do you think?  I hope to tweak it this week, since I have the whole rest of the week off work!  Yay!!!  In addition, I just got a new computer.  My mac died and I have to get it fixed.  Ugh!  In the meantime, my awesome Master bought me the cutest little laptop.  It’s so tiny!  I would say it is only the size of an ipad, but opens to a laptop.  I like using a keyboard because I am a superfast typer.

How to Feel Submissive Day to Day

A post, I recently read, hit home with some of my recent thoughts, so I thought I’d share them.

Living a 24/7 Dom/sub or Master/slave relationship is not ALL about being spanked and serving. Life really does have to occur in tandem. How do you make it all work? How do you continue real life, real family, real jobs, but yet still have a real D/s 24/7 relationship? Do you turn off your submissive or Domness until you have time for a longy in private in the bedroom?

Actually, some people do just that. They may have a “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” on the side whom they “play” with every other weekend. And on these weekends, they do it ALL. They have a way to get away from the rest of the world and fulfill the need of being Dom and sub in a total way. And when the weekend or night is over, they go back to their regular lives. Maybe they text and call each other so as to keep the momentum, but then LIVE for the time when they can get back together. …. Been there, done that.

But what about for those who live it 24/7? AND live together 24/7? And by the way, they are different.

Living together and living 24/7 as Dom/sub or as Master/slave is a careful mix of the mundane and the mind-blowing. But, how does it REALLY work? Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, it should be a “work-in-progress”. If it really is, then learning how to mix the two will become easier and easier. I feel this to be soo true in my relationship with my Master. We have been together a long time. We became Dom/sub before our real life 24/7 living together (as husband and wife) and now have been married for more than 8 years. The D/s, though 24/7 ebbs and flows. But as the years go by, we grow closer and become more and more engrained in the D/s life and learn more and more how to make it work.

What does it mean to “make it work”? It simply means that both parties are on the same page, want the same thing, and are working to be more and more happy and satisfied. How do you do that? How does it happen? How do you “make it work”, then?

The number one things is communication. I know, I know. You always hear that. You know what? I USED to think that I was an awesome communicator. I knew all the tips and tricks and rules of how to be a good communicator. (“I hear you saying that…”) But when I married my Master, I quickly learned that I was, in fact, NOT a good communicator. SIGH….And I’m not saying that he was the best, either, but we won’t go there. Over the years, we have become better and better at communicating. It really is impressive. How did we do it? Well, really, not by reading books and going to lectures. But, instead, just by sheer talk. LOTS and LOTS and LOTS of it. We actually spend an enormous amount of time together. Really, it would make you sick. LOL And then there was the six months where we literally were commuting for literally hours a day and we, yes, you guessed it, TALKED.

One of our common subject topics was how to better our D/s relationship. We talked about what we wished we had and tried to find ways to work toward that. That is why I am often posting new and updated rules. We are trying new things or have gotten sidetracked and we are getting back on track again. Although I have not posted very much the last little bit, our relationship is on the fast track – hot and heavy and we are both loving it! It’s awesome!

We still have the mundane problems of life to deal with on a daily basis – like jobs, family, housekeeping, pets, cars, bills and so forth. The key is how to work in the mindblowing so that the mundane is not more than 50% of your day. 😉

For me, as the submissive, I need and crave feeling submissive. I need a constant stream of those things coming at me to make me feel submissive and so we work to make sure that I feel it. In return, I think that my Master feels more Dominant and thus also, more fulfilled.

How does it work in our life?…..hmmmm….let’s see. I recently read a post where a submissive was describing her weekly activities and how it portrayed her submissiveness. I also have my list – as follows:

-Each morning I arise before my Master and shower and shave.
-I then make his espresso in a special pot just the way he likes it in one of his special cups. I pour it into the cup very, very slowly so it cools some and then I add milk.
-Before I serve him the espresso, I suck and lick his cock until he tells me to give him his coffee.
-I serve it to him with handle turned the correct way.
-I pick my own clothing for work. He picks all my clothing for other than work. (I sleep naked.)
-Everyday, I ask which perfume I should wear. I have several perfumes and he changes daily.
-During the day, I text him and we have specific rules of when I am to text him.
-I must ask before going anywhere. Usually, he drives me to and from.
-I must ask for anything I desire. If granted, he buys. He controls all money. He does all shopping.
-I also serve him coffee after naps or any other time that he requests.
-If he finds a girl attractive, or chats with any other girls he lets me know.
-He tells me if he makes himself cum, while talking to someone else. Often, I’m at home and I suck his cock or fuck him as he talks to other girls. (This is a kink for both of us.)
-We have a girlfriend and we both text her and call her often and she comes to spend time with us, too.
-I say, yes Sir and no Sir in private and now are branching out a bit to saying it more often and not necessarily just in private.
-I get in trouble if I disobey.
-I’m SUPPOSED to ask before bathroom, shower, computer, book, etc. I do sometimes forget to ask before I go to the bathroom, because I have to pee a lot! LOL no that’s not a good excuse.
-I’m SUPPOSED to keep the calendar up to date.
-I’m SUPPOSED to lay out work clothes the night before and let him know when i have.
-I’m SUPPOSED to go to bed by 10pm on worknights and start getting ready at 9pm.
-I’m SUPPOSED to send him a pic of some kind each day. It can be me naked or someone else naked or just a normal pic if I’m not feeling it. To please him, though, I always try to send him something to turn him on.
-I’m SUPPOSED to go to the gym 5 days per week unless I ask first.
-I’m SUPPOSED to keep the bathroom clean – except the toilet.
-Of course, I also do as I’m told sexually at all times. And this is often during the week and sometimes more than once a day. 🙂

Okay, so I’m not perfect, but as you can see, we have a lot going on daily to try and keep me feeling submissive. It’s definitely more mind-blowing for me, than mundane!

Living D/s 24/7 vs. Living D/s 24/7 and Living Together

Do you practice D/s? Do you practice it 24/7? Do you live together and practice D/s 24/7?

Practicing D/s – These are the people who are intrigued by Shades of Grey. These people date people who are also into D/s and they “play” on their dates. How often? Many times I hear of a D/s relationship where they may get together once a month or even less. Been there. Done that. (I, however, couldn’t wait for more!)

Practicing D/s 24/7 – I see this taking 2 major forms. One is as the phrase dictates, but not necessarily living together. For example, if a Dom requires his sub to perform rules and duties outside of the date, continually 24/7, then I would consider it a 24/7 relationship. Been there. Done that. (I, however, couldn’t wait for more!)

Living together and living D/s 24/7 – This is where the Dom and sub live together, married or not, but live together 24/7, have real lives that must be intertwined together and yet, still strive for the 24/7 Dom/sub relationship. I’m there! Doing that! (But it is harder than it seems.)

Watersports

I thought watersports was just using urine for play. But I read somewhere that it is ANY bodily fluids? I’m sure when you hear “golden showers” that they must be talking about urine, but other body fluids like saliva and blood?

My Master has urinated on me a few times. It felt very humiliating. I’ve come to realize that I like some humiliation because it makes me feel very small and for some reason, that turns me on. And if I know that my Master likes it, I REALLY want it. I’m not sure that I could drink urine though. I think I would throw up. I think if my Master wanted to, then I would definitely be game for more watersports. (Especially since he lets me shower afterwards.) After all, I AM a dirty slut sometimes.

As for blood? I don’t think I would want to play with blood at all. On the other hand, if I were to be whipped enough to where I bled just a little, I would be ok with that. I’d rather not have lasting scars though.

As for saliva? I don’t think that I’m into “Playing” with saliva. I mean while your kissing or sucking cock, there definitely is some saliva, but it doesn’t turn me on or anything. I try not to drool too much when I suck cock. I don’t think it is very pretty. I’ve seen before on porn videos where the girl literally spits on a cock or pussy. Ugh…I don’t think that is very pretty either. I can suck cock and get it wet just fine without having to actually “spit”. One time we were playing with another couple and the girl started to finger me and she spit on her fingers. My eyes flew open and I looked at my Master and mouthed, “She spit!!!”. No one else saw me and I don’t think my Master really was paying too much attention to me mouthing those words. He was interested in watching something else! haha!