How to Feel Submissive Day to Day

A post, I recently read, hit home with some of my recent thoughts, so I thought I’d share them.

Living a 24/7 Dom/sub or Master/slave relationship is not ALL about being spanked and serving. Life really does have to occur in tandem. How do you make it all work? How do you continue real life, real family, real jobs, but yet still have a real D/s 24/7 relationship? Do you turn off your submissive or Domness until you have time for a longy in private in the bedroom?

Actually, some people do just that. They may have a “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” on the side whom they “play” with every other weekend. And on these weekends, they do it ALL. They have a way to get away from the rest of the world and fulfill the need of being Dom and sub in a total way. And when the weekend or night is over, they go back to their regular lives. Maybe they text and call each other so as to keep the momentum, but then LIVE for the time when they can get back together. …. Been there, done that.

But what about for those who live it 24/7? AND live together 24/7? And by the way, they are different.

Living together and living 24/7 as Dom/sub or as Master/slave is a careful mix of the mundane and the mind-blowing. But, how does it REALLY work? Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, it should be a “work-in-progress”. If it really is, then learning how to mix the two will become easier and easier. I feel this to be soo true in my relationship with my Master. We have been together a long time. We became Dom/sub before our real life 24/7 living together (as husband and wife) and now have been married for more than 8 years. The D/s, though 24/7 ebbs and flows. But as the years go by, we grow closer and become more and more engrained in the D/s life and learn more and more how to make it work.

What does it mean to “make it work”? It simply means that both parties are on the same page, want the same thing, and are working to be more and more happy and satisfied. How do you do that? How does it happen? How do you “make it work”, then?

The number one things is communication. I know, I know. You always hear that. You know what? I USED to think that I was an awesome communicator. I knew all the tips and tricks and rules of how to be a good communicator. (“I hear you saying that…”) But when I married my Master, I quickly learned that I was, in fact, NOT a good communicator. SIGH….And I’m not saying that he was the best, either, but we won’t go there. Over the years, we have become better and better at communicating. It really is impressive. How did we do it? Well, really, not by reading books and going to lectures. But, instead, just by sheer talk. LOTS and LOTS and LOTS of it. We actually spend an enormous amount of time together. Really, it would make you sick. LOL And then there was the six months where we literally were commuting for literally hours a day and we, yes, you guessed it, TALKED.

One of our common subject topics was how to better our D/s relationship. We talked about what we wished we had and tried to find ways to work toward that. That is why I am often posting new and updated rules. We are trying new things or have gotten sidetracked and we are getting back on track again. Although I have not posted very much the last little bit, our relationship is on the fast track – hot and heavy and we are both loving it! It’s awesome!

We still have the mundane problems of life to deal with on a daily basis – like jobs, family, housekeeping, pets, cars, bills and so forth. The key is how to work in the mindblowing so that the mundane is not more than 50% of your day. 😉

For me, as the submissive, I need and crave feeling submissive. I need a constant stream of those things coming at me to make me feel submissive and so we work to make sure that I feel it. In return, I think that my Master feels more Dominant and thus also, more fulfilled.

How does it work in our life?…..hmmmm….let’s see. I recently read a post where a submissive was describing her weekly activities and how it portrayed her submissiveness. I also have my list – as follows:

-Each morning I arise before my Master and shower and shave.
-I then make his espresso in a special pot just the way he likes it in one of his special cups. I pour it into the cup very, very slowly so it cools some and then I add milk.
-Before I serve him the espresso, I suck and lick his cock until he tells me to give him his coffee.
-I serve it to him with handle turned the correct way.
-I pick my own clothing for work. He picks all my clothing for other than work. (I sleep naked.)
-Everyday, I ask which perfume I should wear. I have several perfumes and he changes daily.
-During the day, I text him and we have specific rules of when I am to text him.
-I must ask before going anywhere. Usually, he drives me to and from.
-I must ask for anything I desire. If granted, he buys. He controls all money. He does all shopping.
-I also serve him coffee after naps or any other time that he requests.
-If he finds a girl attractive, or chats with any other girls he lets me know.
-He tells me if he makes himself cum, while talking to someone else. Often, I’m at home and I suck his cock or fuck him as he talks to other girls. (This is a kink for both of us.)
-We have a girlfriend and we both text her and call her often and she comes to spend time with us, too.
-I say, yes Sir and no Sir in private and now are branching out a bit to saying it more often and not necessarily just in private.
-I get in trouble if I disobey.
-I’m SUPPOSED to ask before bathroom, shower, computer, book, etc. I do sometimes forget to ask before I go to the bathroom, because I have to pee a lot! LOL no that’s not a good excuse.
-I’m SUPPOSED to keep the calendar up to date.
-I’m SUPPOSED to lay out work clothes the night before and let him know when i have.
-I’m SUPPOSED to go to bed by 10pm on worknights and start getting ready at 9pm.
-I’m SUPPOSED to send him a pic of some kind each day. It can be me naked or someone else naked or just a normal pic if I’m not feeling it. To please him, though, I always try to send him something to turn him on.
-I’m SUPPOSED to go to the gym 5 days per week unless I ask first.
-I’m SUPPOSED to keep the bathroom clean – except the toilet.
-Of course, I also do as I’m told sexually at all times. And this is often during the week and sometimes more than once a day. 🙂

Okay, so I’m not perfect, but as you can see, we have a lot going on daily to try and keep me feeling submissive. It’s definitely more mind-blowing for me, than mundane!

Where would you sleep if there were 3 in the bed?

I would prefer not to be in the middle, because I think I might be a tad claustrophobic. I have no problem with being tied up, that I know of. And I like being blindfolded. I also like to have a fan blowing on my face at night.

I would prefer that my Master sleep in the middle. 🙂

Domestic Servitude

What is DOMESTIC SERVITUDE?

According to wikipedia -“In BDSM, servitude refers to performing personal tasks for their dominant partner, as part of their submissive role in a BDSM relationship.
In domestic servitude roles, the submissive can receive pleasure and satisfaction from performing personal services for their dominant, such as serving as a butler, waitress, chauffeur, maid or houseboy.”

Am I into Domestic Servitude? Yes, I think I am. I do like to serve in this way and it makes me feel good. Playing the part of waitress or maid would serve two purposes in my opinion. First the purpose of pleasing the Master, and fulfilling the need to serve by the submissive. Secondly, the purpose of keeping the house clean and meals prepared. Unfortunately, I cannot do a very good job of this at all because I also work a full time job and my energy levels are kind of low. I hate that. I really wish I could take part in this more. 😦 Also, it is way more fulfilling for me to be “made” to do these things, rather than just knowing that I should do these things.

Because of the stress of life, my Master has suggested that we take on a third person – another submissive who has this as a main kink and to become part of our household. He has always talked of having a second submissive. I have always been jealous of this except that if it were someone who really and truly enjoyed being with us both and could be a very good companion, it might be a real enhancement to our relationship. In our case, since I work full time, the second submissive would have the full time job of housekeeping and serving meals. And then also be submissive to my Master, but not to me. We’ll see what the future may bring.

Day 30: Whatever BDSM/kink related thing you want to write about.

I choose  polyamory relationships.  I never in a million years would have thought I would even want to post about this, but when you are in love with someone, you are curious as to their wants and desires.  My Master has always stated that he would like to have two submissives.  He has stated that I would always be his number one submissive and that a second coming in would be just that – second.  And of course in our instance, it would be a female.  (Thus Master plus two female submissives)  I’m not sure how this would actually work and we have discussed at times how this would work.  Previously, my Master has said that usually a first sub is over a second sub, meaning that the second sub is subservient to the first.  However, in our relationship, I really don’t see how I could be comfortable or even have the ability to boss another sub around.  I mean it doesn’t make sense that I wouldn’t be able to, especially since in my job I do have an assistant and at times have had 2 and even 3 assistants.  But, it seems totally different to me.  When I am with my Master which is the 24/7 that I am not at my job or the gym, I am trying to focus on him (or should be) and I honestly don’t want to boss another around.  Also, I know that as far as sex goes, my Master would prefer to have sex with both subs at the same time?  Though, maybe I am wrong.  He wants to have sex, but not without me, but then again he often jokes that he needs to subs so that one can always be sucking his cock.  okay, whatever…  Anyway, in the sex department, I prefer to be dominated whether by male or female.  And then there is the whole jealousy thing.  …