exhibit A questionnaire…

I enjoyed reading this post http://exhibitunadorned.com/2015/08/11/lets-talk-about-sex/ .  Below are MY answers to that questionnaire:

I’m 49. Female. Bisexual. 

This week my sex life is lacking some and that makes me somewhat unhappy.

Both pleasure and love mattered to me the last time we had sex.

1.2. I feel like I’m very frank about sex. At least I try to be. During sex, I don’t really say much. 

3. I don’t know if I COMPARE my sex life to others, really. Actually, it’s more like would I wouldn’t I like to do that or participate in that? Especially when I watch porn.;)

4. Yes, my desires most certainly have changed. My desires for the Bdsm lifestyle have increased as well as my desire for more intense activities. 

5. Great sex, I would define as my Master wanting me so bad that he could hardly stand it, his cock so huge and hard! My Master would force me to do several things, including forcing me to gag on his cock. We would fuck several different ways. He would eat my pussy until I came and then fuck me till we both came together. Then he would tell me how amazing it was and then we would fall asleep in each other’s arms.

6. No. I don’t think that I have to act a certain way in bed because of my gender. I feel like I act submissive because I am submissive and it feels natural to me.

7. The emotions that I associate with arousal are excitement, sometimes shame and/or embarrassment, which in turn, arouses me. Sometimes I feel anxiety.

8. I don’t really compare my life to what is on the Internet. I sometimes want to simulate what I see on the Internet because it is exciting, but I also realize that there is real life.

9. No. I do not think having better sex would make me a better person. It might make me a happier, more fulfilled person, but not better.

10. Yes. I think it is just as acceptable for women as for men to be promiscuous. 

11. No, not necessarily. I think it depends on the fantasy. Some fantasies could maybe become realities. And some might have to be adjusted a little to make them feasible, but still fulfilling.

12. Life without sex would be really difficult if you had the desire to have it.

13. I think sex is portrayed a lot in our society because society thinks about it a lot. I also think that certain aspects are imitated at too young of ages… For example elementary aged girls dressing provocatively. 

14. I think that society is definitely more accepting of different lifestyles now than ever before but we still have a ways to go.

15. Yes family attitudes to sex influence us. We grow up learning these attitudes as we go into puberty. That doesn’t mean we can’t alter it.

16. I don’t see why not. Each individual makes their own choice in that. Personally, Ian a Christian and I believe the Bible talks a lot about women being submissive to their husbands. For me, I’m really down with that

17. To keep children safe, I think homosexuality should be referred to when discussing protection. 

18. I’m not sure how I feel about prostitution. I think most prostitutes are not happy and perhaps are abused. I know there are some prostitutes for whom this is not true. It appears that in places where it is regulated and legal, the prostitutes would be in a better situation. 

Yes. I have traded sex for money. My ex husband would give me spending money for Blowjobs. 😉 

19. I believe consent is necessary. I believe in consensual no consent and for me that means that you consent to whatever is handed out, PROVIDED that it has been discussed a previous time. I also believe that at anytime one may revoke it.

20. Yes. I do think that monogamy is natural because we are jealous. If we were not a jealous species, then the answer would be no. Can you have a non monogamous relationship? Sure. It’s just more work and takes mutual consent.

21. Oh, I definitely think that the digital age has enhanced sexual pleasure, no doubt. For me, meeting new people, learning a vast amount of new things…..all for the good of better sex!!!

22. If I could change one thing about myself, I would wish that I were more sexy and more desirable. (Isn’t that everyone’s wish?)

23. I think I would simply time travel to a younger me, with my current knowledge… I think to maybe to 2000. (With the stipulation that I still meet my current husband. 🙂

24. My advice to myself would be …. Don’t settle. It’s not necessary.

25. My question to others would be – Do you feel you orgasm easily or not so easily? And MY answer to the question is no. I do not come very easily.i used to when I was younger. I used to come very fast. But my orgasms were not as intense as they are now and I didn’t used to be able to have multiple orgasms. So. I think I accidentally trained myself. Lol. Sometimes it is irritating when I want to come quickly, because I can’t.

Am I sexy without sex?

That question came from a blog post by Hyacinth in her blog A Dissolute Life.  As I read a particular part of the post (entitled, “It’s Beautiful Out There”), I felt a connection.  I wanted to write a post.  Hyacinth said,  –

“When sex began to wane between me and TN I knew it was a red flag — who couldn’t think that?  But he denied it and excused it and I was left to wrestle with the question on my own, “Am I sexy if I’m not having sex?”  It’s why I started my Instagram account.  I needed more feedback and then I realized I didn’t need it anymore.  I am sexy with or without the sex.”

I replied in a comment on her blog as to how she came to that conclusion.  I need help to come to the same conclusion.  Since our sex life has become somewhat of a valley, rather than a peak, I cannot help but ask that same question of myself on a daily basis.  I do get feedback from my Dom.  C. often tells me that I look good and often looks at me naked and is very affectionate.  But…..  And he tells me that it is not because I am getting older or that I have gained a few pounds.  But, as Hyacinth says, How can I NOT think that anyway?  In addition, I then feel a bit more jealousy than usual plaguing my mind.

Perhaps I need more feedback, too.  Perhaps I should start an instagram account??  I don’t know.  Perhaps I just need more sex.  But, how to make that happen.  LOL  It’s much harder for a girl, I think.    But that’s another post.

I know sex should not define a person or make them feel better about themselves and so on.  But why not?  Being desired sexually, makes us all feel so wonderful, so happy in our skin, so satisfied.  Perhaps, a person says they desire you, but if it doesn’t come to fruition as often as it once did, then what is the conclusion?  How do you figure it out?  How do you change the feeling of “If I’m not having sex, then I must not be sexy?”

hispreciouspet

Eager Beaver

According to Merriam Webster, an eager beaver is

a person who is extremely zealous about performing duties and volunteering for more

Okay, well, I guess, then I am an “eager beaver”. Our sex life has been on the downhill recently. I can’t quite figure it out. But, I have a feeling that is on the uphill. hee hee. And I’m an eager beaver, yes, yes, I am. 😉

Four Times a Charm?

Yes. I insist. (Though being a submissive, that only goes so far.) We have moved four- 4 – IV times in the past 12 months. Please please let us NEVER move again! Ok. I know that is unrealistic, but I hate moving. It is stressful. So we just moved this past weekend. Then we had no internet and our phone service was also lacking. Plus my computer bit the dust AND now I have a cold. Waaaaaah. See I do have an excuse for not posting but now I need to catch up! Onward!!!

Being Used

I just read a post that I tried and tried to repost but it wouldn’t let me! It was a description of a slave being used by her Master.

This was a turn on- big time! I know the feeling of not being turned on initially but being used by my Master. This doesn’t happen much to me but oh how I wish to be used that way. Because as you realize you are serving and that your Master WANTS to use YOU, and then you see that he is needing and craving and so aroused by USING you, then you are suddenly hot and wet! Mmmmmm the ache right now!